


Thank God It's Friday

by curiousconstellations



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-17
Updated: 2015-05-11
Packaged: 2018-03-13 12:18:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 24
Words: 55,907
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3381245
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/curiousconstellations/pseuds/curiousconstellations
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Killian Jones is left unemployed when his brother Liam dies and their business falls apart. He takes a job at a local supermarket until he can get back on his feet but he hates it. That is until he starts serving a beautiful blonde every Friday. (Modern CS AU)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: This is just a little thing I'm writing to get me through the rest of the hiatus so I thought I would post it on here and share it :)

The supermarket is quiet, thankfully, when Killian leaves the employee lounge to start his shift. He hates this place, the nauseating white lighting and the crackling speakers that make him flinch every time there is an announcement.

He hates that he knows every aisle like the back of his hand. He hates that he somehow always ends up with the 'coupon shift' and that he is still considered the new guy even after 5 months. Killian Jones hates his job with a passion. Perhaps if he had been younger or interested in retail the job wouldn't be so bad, but when he is a grown man in his thirties who used to run his own business the job is positively torture.

He heads to his usual checkout slowly for lack of both customers and enthusiasm. His Friday shift is usually quiet considering most people are still at work themselves, which leaves him serving older people that despite their friendless make the day go even slower.

He leans on his stool and stares blankly at the rack of magazines on the opposite checkout. He doesn't care for celebrity culture and false journalism yet he somehow always knows which one of the Kardashian sisters is pregnant by the end of the week. Sometimes he moves the lifestyle magazines in front of the celebrity ones to switch it up when he gets tired of the sleazy headlines.

He can hear his brother in his head, laughing as he forced Killian to watch one of those entertainment shows that manage to make spotting someone in yoga pants sound dramatic. At the thought of his brother he grits his teeth and rests his head on the counter, trying to use the counting technique his grief counselor taught him in that one session he attended.

'Long day?' He hears, making him sit back up quickly in shock. A woman is unpacking her basket onto the conveyor belt, looking up to shoot him a sympathetic smile before returning back to her groceries. She is blonde with green eyes and a sweet smile and she's beautiful. He rarely serves anyone around his own age at this time of the day and he feels suddenly awkward.

'Something like that.' He replies vaguely as he scans through her milk carton. She finishes unpacking the basket and moves to the other side to put it all into her grocery bags. He avoids looking at her again, focusing on actually doing his job instead of looking at the pretty woman buying her food.

Just as he scans the last item (a roll of dough for cinnamon buns which amuses him for some reason) her phone rings and she sighs.

'Sorry.' She mutters as she pulls out her phone from the back pocket of her jeans and answers it.

'Yeah of course I remembered it.' She says humorously into the phone with a roll of her eyes. Killian watches her as he waits for her to finish the phone call and pay, and he notices smaller details that make her even more beautiful.

Her nose and cheeks have very faint freckles and her lips are a pretty pink colour. She's wearing a red leather jacket with blue jeans and a black vest that shows just a hint of her bra. He finds himself looking far too long at that region of her body and he looks away, feeling awkward despite her not even being aware of him.

'Okay, love you too.' She smiles before hanging up.

'Sorry about that.' She apologies again before finding her card and putting it in the machine. Before he knows it she's carrying away her shopping and heading for the exit, her blonde curls bouncing lightly behind her as she walks.

He feels disappointment swell in his chest. His romantic life had been nonexistent for months, which hadn't actually bothered him, but despite seeing his fair share of attractive women recently she had been the only one to make him feel _something,_ and he didn't even know her.

He resigns himself to the fact that she was taken and he would probably never see her again, so he lets the image of the beautiful woman fade from his mind as he continues wallowing in his sadness. It was going to be a very long day.

* * *

Emma clears away the dishes after dinner, smiling and shaking her head when she hears the sound of the TV change to one of Henry's video games. She heard him yell in victory before he came bounding into the kitchen.

'Mom I just leveled up!' He says excitedly.

'Congrats, kid. It makes me so proud to know you've progressed further in your video game than your homework.' She responds, trying to give him a stern, motherly look without grinning at his happy little face.

'But Mom it's a Friday, no child must ever suffer the punishment of doing homework on a Friday night.' Henry tells her, and she laughs at his seriousness.

'Oh of course, you're totally right.' Emma says just as seriously as she closes the dishwasher and wipes the counter down.

'Aren't I always?' Henry retorts, and she ruffles his hair affectionately, smirking when he pats it back down afterwards.

'Hey, can we make those cinnamon buns now?' The boy says excitedly, already getting the dough out of the fridge before Emma could even answer. Emma just laughs again and sets the oven to pre-heat. She knows the premade dough is cheating and that baking from scratch is better but she doesn't usually have the time between work and Henry, but the kid seems happy enough with it.

They roll the dough together and she leaves Henry to glaze them (it's always been his favorite part, despite most of it not even ending up on the buns) before she puts them in the oven to bake. Henry returns to his game while they cook and Emma takes a seat at the kitchen counter, pouring a small glass of wine and sighing.

They had been living in the town long enough now that the initial excitement of moving somewhere new had faded away and Emma was beginning to feel the familiar feeling of emptiness sink in. She loves her son and she's so happy that she has him in her life, but she has always felt like something was missing. She devotes herself to Henry and work, which leaves little time for friends or anyone else.

She promised herself that she would start fresh this time. She would put more effort into meeting other adults that weren't her boss and she would make more time for her son.

So far the latter had been surprisingly successful. Her new boss gave her Fridays off work (apparently there weren't as many bail jumpers here as there were in Boston) which meant that she could run errands while Henry was at school and have more time with him on the weekends.

The other part of her new goal hadn't been so successful. The only conversation she had had with an actual adult had been the checkout guy at the supermarket earlier, and that barely constituted as a conversation. She definitely did share his sentiment of long days and fought the urge to rest her head on the table in exhaustion just as he had.

She remembered hearing a slight accent when he spoke and she shook away the image of the rather attractive British guy that scanned her groceries. She finally found a decent supermarket in the area and crushing on one of the employees was not part of her plan.

The oven chimes and Henry comes running back but she sticks out her arm to stop him opening the door.

'Remember the last time, kid? I think I'll be dealing with the oven from now on.' She teases as he tried to hide the small pink scar on his hand behind his back. She pulls out the tray and inhales the smell of cinnamon. They look pretty good, better than any of their previous attempts to make them anyway.

Henry buzzes around her until they've cooled down enough for him to eat and he grabs the closest one and returns to his game. She sits beside him with her own bun, picking up the second controller and joining in despite her sticky dessert and complete inability to play video games. Henry laughs at her lack of ability but helps her press the right buttons until she somehow manages to defeat whatever evil thing was in her way.

They play late into the night (for Henry anyway, he'd fallen asleep early ever since he was a baby) and Emma pulls the blanket over him and turns the game off. She follows her nightly routine of checking the lock on the door and turning off the lights, brushing her teeth and removing her small amount of makeup before climbing into bed.

Her eyes sting with exhaustion but her mind still races as she lays her head on the pillow. She has a good job, a decent apartment and a wonderful son and she appreciates those aspects of her life. But there is something missing, and she realizes it's harder to find the missing piece when she tries so hard to ignore her problems. She needs to make this fresh start work.


	2. Chapter 2

Killian sits at his regular checkout, looking around with mild interest as his eyes scan the few customers walking between the aisles. It's Friday again, 7 days since his most interesting shift in 5 months that included an interaction lasting less than 10 minutes yet it somehow stuck with him.

He just can't seem to shake in the image of that woman from his mind and it's beginning to drive him crazy. The woman who lives in the apartment opposite his asked him out for a coffee a few days ago and he stupidly declined, telling her he was actually already seeing someone. He could see she was confused as she probably knew he never had guests over and his routine rarely changed from going to and from work but she said nothing, smiling politely and giving him a line about still being interested if his relationship doesn't work out.

That relationship was non-existent of course. He didn't even know her name for God's sake.

He is pulled out of his thoughts by the sight of blonde hair and that red leather jacket. She's rounding the corner of the aisle, her eyes scanning over the products as she moves, clearly looking for something specific. His heart picks up and he curses himself.

He has never been like this with women, in fact he is pretty proud of the fact that it's usually _him_ making _them_ swoon. He's charming and flirty and the perfect combination of a bad boy exterior with a good heart and he knows it. Relationships were never really an issue, until a few months ago when Liam died and suddenly the dating game seemed unimportant to him. And now this woman appears and he's suddenly forgotten how to function as an adult.

She's oblivious to his gaze as she continues shopping and he just hopes that she comes back to his checkout when she's finished. He serves an older woman moving so slowly that Killian offers to help empty her cart. He knows that the blonde will just go to another checkout if he is busy and he tries to serve the woman as quickly as possible without being rude.

He sees her perusing the ice cream in the frozen aisle and notices she's almost done. He helps put the woman's groceries back in her cart after she pays and says goodbye just as he sees a flash of blonde hair head towards him.

'Hi.' He smiles as she starts unpacking her cart once again.

'You're more chipper than last week.' She replies teasingly, and he stares at her in shock for a moment before chuckling and scanning through the tub of rocky road ice cream (his favorite strangely enough).

'Well serving a beautiful woman does help improve my mood.' Killian grins despite the flirtatious tone sounding strange after been rusty all these months.

'Oh really? I wouldn't have pegged you as being into older women.' Her smile is shy despite her boldness and she shakes her hair so that it falls around her face more. He frowns before realizing she's joking about his last customer and he controls his desire to laugh loudly. Yes, he likes her very much.

'Age is just a number after all, lass.' He finally responds, and she gives him a warm smile before looking away sheepishly.

'Ice cream, soda, candy and popcorn. Looks like you've got a fun night ahead.' Killian says humorously before internally scolding himself. He just hopes she doesn't take it to sound too nosy.

'Well when your 12 year old son has friends around junk food seems to be the only thing acceptable on the menu.' She sighs as she puts the last item on the conveyor belt (a bunch of bananas that seems to be the healthiest thing on there) and moves to bag up the items he's already scanned.

He looks her over while she's distracted, not believing this woman has a 12 year old child. She must have been a teenager at the time, not that it was any of his business of course.

'Sugar makes kids even more hyper.' He says with false seriousness and she laughs (the sound is light and sweet and he wants to hear it again and again).

'I don't mind; he's a good kid. We're still quite new to the area so I'm just glad he's settling in and making friends here.' She sounds suddenly serious and he notices the subtle bite of her bottom lip.

'Oh? Where are you from originally?' He questions, trying to sound nonchalant and politely interested. Customers usually end up telling him their life story but with her it seems too personal somehow.

'A few places. We just moved from Boston because of my work and, well yeah.' She finishes, stopping herself before she reveals something clearly more personal.

'How about you? That accent is more like original England than New England.' She asks him with a soft smile, shifting the attention from herself rather smoothly.

'Ah, yes I am from across the pond. I've been here for about 8 years but I'm also quite new to this particular area. New York was the first place I lived in America.' He drops his eyes back to the items he scans as the conversation veers close to his own personal boundaries. She seems to sense his reluctance to reveal too much as well and doesn't question him further. She's observant and considerate on top of being beautiful.

They finish the rest of her groceries in silence and she pays with her card like last time. Their hands touch slightly when he hands her the receipt and she looks up to meet his eyes.

'Have a nice night, and don't let those kids get too rowdy.' He tells her with a smile, speaking more quietly than before for some reason.

'Thank you…Killian.' She looks down at his name tag and smiles, making his stomach flip with the way she says his name. She's definitely flirting and he can't deny it makes him giddy.

She pushes her cart away and he watches her leave again. He still doesn't know her name but he knows his initial attraction to her has just multiplied. She's new to the area and has come to the supermarket (and more specifically his checkout) two weeks in a row now. He allows himself to think that maybe he will see her again next Friday.

* * *

Emma watches her son jump up and down excitedly as he plays his video game with his friends. She hasn't seen him this happy in years and she finds herself getting emotional.

Her heart sinks whenever she thinks about him coming home from school with red eyes and the slam of his bedroom door. She remembers the glances she got when she went to parent-teacher conferences and she was the only single mom there.

She knows that the other mothers gossiped about her getting pregnant at 17, and how the father wasn't even around anymore. Their kids taunted Henry for not knowing his father and she hates herself for choosing to live in a suburban area with so much judgement and hostility.

Things are better now that they are out of that life. Henry is happier, he has friends and is doing well in school (his teachers seem to love his inquisitive nature already). She told him they moved because of her job but really she had looked around for job openings in various cities and states that could get them away from there. It wasn't fair that he was paying for her teenage mistakes.

Emma is pulled out of her thoughts by the sound of cheering and she smiles. The guy from the supermarket was definitely right about kids and sugar.

She thinks about his compliment and bites her lip. Not to sound conceited but she had received plenty of compliments from men before but she just dismissed them with a scoff or eye roll (and she wonders why she has been single for so long). But he makes her analyze their interactions like she's a doe-eyed school girl and she can't for the life of her figure out why.

He was charming and good looking with an attractive accent but she'd met men like that before that didn't make her act like this. She thinks about him calling her beautiful and she holds it in her mind while she washes the dishes and scrubs out the soda stain from the carpet when Henry gets a little too excited and knocks over his glass.

She decides not to dismiss this compliment and she feels a little lighter because of it.


	3. Chapter 3

Emma unlocks the front door and frowns at the dimness of the apartment. It's 5:30pm on a Tuesday and Henry was always home from school by now. A flicker of panic rises in her chest when she checks her phone and doesn't see a message or call from him. Maybe he stayed late at school for a club or went to a friend's house, but he knows to message her if he does.

She dials his number (she's glad she finally caved and got him a cell phone for his most recent birthday) and hopes he will pick up as the phone rings.

'Hey, Mom.' His voice says on the other end cheerfully, and she exhales with relief.

'Henry, where are you?' She asks sternly.

'I'm in the apartment across the hall. I forgot my keys so the lady that lives here let me wait here until you got home. I'm sorry I didn't message you.' He adds, and she leans against the wall to steady herself. He's only feet away in their neighbour's apartment, thank God.

'Okay, wait there, I'll come get you.' She tells him before hanging up, sighing as she shuts her front door and knocks on the door of apartment 3A.

A small, round faced woman with short hair answers the door with a kind smile.

'Hi, you must be Henry's mother. I'm Mary Margret. I came home from work and he was hanging around in the hall so I thought it would be better to bring him inside until you got home. I did tell him to text you but you know kids, obviously.' The woman rambles, but Emma thinks it's more her personality than anything else.

'Sure, thanks. I'm Emma by the way.' She smiles slightly cautiously, almost forgetting how friendly interactions worked. The woman smiles and opens the door wider for her.

'Henry's over there watching TV.' Mary Margret gestures and Henry turns around as Emma walks into the apartment.

'Hey Mom!' He calls before turning back to the TV.

'He seems pretty into this show, if you want you could stay for coffee until it's finished?' Mary Margret suggests, and Emma nods nervously. She didn't do this, she didn't have casual coffee with people.

Mary Margret puts the kettle on and apologies about only having instant coffee but Emma laughs and says it's fine. She looks around the apartment and notices the rustic, antique décor. It's feminine but subtle, and despite the pastel colouring of the walls and furniture it's strangely warm and comforting. It's definitely different to her more modern apartment but she likes it.

'So, what kind of work do you?' Mary Margret asks.

'I'm a bail bonds person.' She replies bluntly, watching the woman closely to see if she had the same reaction most people did when she told them what she did for a living.

'Oh, wow that must be exciting.' The woman says with raised eyebrows and Emma realizes she's being genuine. Emma laughs and shakes her head.

'Trust me, it's not. It's a lot of surveillance and waiting around for other people, but its steady pay with health and dental plans, which is a reassurance when you're a single mother.' Emma waits for the disapproving mouth twitch other women seemed to have at that but it never came.

'Well it still sounds exciting to this elementary school teacher.' Mary Margret jokes, and Emma smiles because of course this woman was a teacher. She doesn't see anything in the apartment to indicate she has children but she still seems to have a strong maternal side.

Mary Margret hands her the mug coffee and sits beside her at the kitchen counter.

'Thanks for looking out for Henry by the way. When we first moved into the apartment I was worried about him being home alone for a couple of hours in a new place while I was still at work and I was just so worried when he wasn't at home.' She cradles the mug in her hands, thankful for something to distract her from the slight shake she still had.

'Oh, not at all, and he's more than welcome if it ever happens again.' the woman laughs softly and Emma smiles.

They chat about their jobs and various aspects of their life (she finds out Mary Margret is single but totally has a crush on the local vet that she sees every morning in the diner down the street) until it's much later than they had thought and Mary Margret suggests ordering pizza.

Henry cheers and sneaks another episode of whatever action packed show he's watching as he chomps on his pizza happily. Emma bravely reveals her developing crush on the guy that works at the supermarket around the corner and she can't help but grin as Mary Margret giggles and picks up a cheesy slice of pizza.

They've only known each other for a few hours but Emma feels like she may have friend in Mary Margret.

* * *

Killian tiredly climbs the stairs up to his fourth floor apartment, every step making him even more exhausted. He curses the landlord for not bothering to get the elevator fixed as he finally reaches his floor and internally grumbles about his bad day at work.

He hates his Tuesday shifts with a passion. The weekly deals and coupons get released on Monday, meaning Tuesdays are the day that the supermarket is so busy they have more customers in one day than the rest of the week combined.

He works until they close at 11pm, a time he calls 'the witching hour' when stressed out mothers haul their kids around late at night to get the cheapest deals on what's left. He truly hates his job.

He reaches his apartment and fumbles with the keys, his eyes bleary with fatigue and his fingers cramping from a long day of repeatedly scanning items.

'Oh hey, I was hoping to catch you in the morning but here you are.' He hears from the next door down. The voice belongs to a blonde haired man around his own age wearing a black jacket over what appears to be a white doctor's coat.

'I'm sorry, I don't think we've ever met?' Killian says questioningly, and the man smiles and extends his hand for him to shake.

'I'm David Nolan, I live next door. The mailman put your mail in my box today, hold on.' He says with a nod before quickly going back into his apartment and returning with 3 white envelopes addressed to Killian.

'Ah, thank you. Now I have absolutely no excuse not to pay my bills.' Killian jokes, and the man laughs before shuffling down the corridor.

'No problem, anyway I should get going. I'm a vet and I've just got an emergency call about a cat getting stuck in a wire fence.' David explains, and Killian nods goodbye to his neighbour of five months that he only just met.

He finally enters his apartment and slumps down on the sofa with a groan. So he still had a job he hates but at least he had managed to interact with a beautiful woman and his neighbour in the space of a few days. He wasn't a complete antisocial hermit anyway.

He microwaves a quick mac and cheese mix despite his dislike for ready meals instead of actually cooking (he has the ability to cook but he lacks both time and interest) before heading to bed. He avoids looking at the boxes of Liam's things, especially when they have the 'Jones Brothers' logo on it.

He changes into pyjama pants and climbs into bed, telling himself that he only has three more days until he sees the pretty blonde woman again, who is by far the most interesting part of his life right now. The thought makes him sad but he shrugs off any deeper thoughts so he can sleep and not have to worry about the current state of his life.

* * *

Emma hates the fact that the items she wants always seem to be on the top shelf right at the back. She cranes her neck to see if there is any jars left of the pasta sauce she usually gets, groaning as she prepares herself for the stretch when a familiar voice comes from behind.

'I'll get that, lass.' He says, and her heart jumps despite herself. He's close as he reaches up with more ease than her and grabs the jar she wants, handing it to her with a much too dashing smile.

'Wow, the customer service has really improved around here.' She jokes, hating the way she sounds almost breathless.

'Well I am the current employee of the month so I do have a reputation to uphold.' He grins back and she exhales as she tries to ignore the lingering scent of his soap.

'Now isn't that impressive.' Emma replies and he chuckles and looks down at his feet. The gesture makes her want to move closer to him but she controls her urges and watches as he scratches his ear.

'Getting accolades for a job you hate isn't all that rewarding, believe me.' He laughs but she knows it's to hide the truth in his words. She finds herself wondering what his story is before she stops herself. Finding someone attractive is simply a crush but wanting to know him personally is far deeper and she feels the familiar sense of panic wash over her at the thought of being that close to someone again.

'It sucks being an adult, doesn't it?' She says humorously after furiously thinking of something appropriate to say.

'Don't I know it.' He sighs before shaking his head and shuffling away.

'Anyway, I should head over to my checkout now to serve that long line of customers waiting for me.' Killian says sarcastically, and his smile isn't as genuine as he walks away from her.

Emma frowns as she puts the jar of sauce into her cart. It's clear the man has pain in his life, more so than simply disliking his job. She finds herself thinking about him as she continues her shopping, biting back a smile when she senses him watching her at the end of each aisle.

* * *

He is so stupid. Why did he have to say that quip about hating his job? No one else cares about his problems, least of all this woman he barely knows.

For the first time since he met her he finds himself hoping she will go to a different checkout so he doesn't have to deal with the awkwardness of their next interaction.

He has no such luck as she heads his way and he swallows thickly.

'Ah, it's looking a bit healthier this week.' He teases as she unloads her fruit and vegetables. She frowns at him in what he hopes is mock disapproval before her mouth twitches and he knows she trying not to smile.

'Hey, I had a very reasonable excuse last week.' She retorts just as he scans through multiple bags of flour, sugar and cocoa powder.

'And your reasonable excuse for all this is…?' He continues with a nod to all the baking products.

'Henry's school is having a bake sale and as the new mom in town I apparently get stuck with the duty of baking 10 trays of brownies.' She replies with a half-hearted roll of her eyes. He's never heard her use the name Henry before and he imagines it's more of a habitual thing than intentionally telling him her son's name.

'That sounds like quite a task.' He says seriously, trying to ignore the thought that goes through his mind about how slowly she's unpacking her cart this time.

'So much so that my son doesn't even trust me with it. He wants to enlist the help of our neighbour that we barely know just in case I mess up.' She laughs. He already has a sense of the great relationship she seems to have with her son and it makes him smile, even if it does also remind him of his own lack of family.

'Well good luck with that, I'm rooting for you not to mess up.' He avoids meeting her eyes because he's almost certain that she must sense the strangely comfortable relationship they seem to be building. He would never converse with any other customer this way yet somehow with her he feels like he's teasing someone he's known for years. Their comfortable banter makes him _uncomfortable_ and he clears his throat multiple times to break the silence between them.

'So what made you move to America? I mean it couldn't exactly have been our wonderful healthcare system or our gas prices.' She asks, and he forces himself to relax as she tries to start a new conversation.

'Actually it was my brother's idea. He had a friend that moved here and they had a terrible experience with the company they went through. My brother had this grand idea of starting his own shipping business for people emigrating and somehow it actually worked out. I became his business partner and we built our base in New York. Liam had plans to expand the business to serve corporations involved in exporting goods, but some things happened and it fell through.' He realizes that he had scanned all of her shopping and she had already packed everything in bags by the time he finished speaking.

'That's bad luck. I heard business owners were hit the hardest during the recession.' She nods sympathetically, although he has a feeling she knows there's more to his story than that.

He simply nods and accepts her card payment on the machine, finally meeting her eyes when he gives her the receipt. Another customer starts loading their shopping onto the checkout and their moment is broken. She mutters a polite goodbye before moving to leave and he fights the urge to tell her stay.

Killian forces himself to remember that he's at work and she's not leaving _him_ (even though there is no _them_ anyway). He finds himself wanting to continue his story about Liam, but only to her. He hopes that maybe he will get the chance one day.


	4. Chapter 4

'Mary Margret, you are a life safer.' Emma sighs as she opens the door to her neighbour, who is holding 5 stacked trays of freshly baked brownies precariously in her arms.

Emma takes them off her and puts them on the kitchen counter with the 5 other trays she had baked, nodding for Mary Margret to follow her inside.

'I love baking and I love helping people so the pleasure was all mine.' She smiles, and Emma shakes her head slightly at how kind this woman is.

'But I was also wondering if you could help me out with something too?' She adds hesitantly. Emma raises her eyebrows questioningly and Mary Margret's cheeks flush with embarrassment. They had only known each other for a couple of weeks and despite being fast friends both of them were quite new to having a friend in their lives.

'Okay, you know the guy I see every morning at Granny's?' Mary Margret says quietly, and Emma scoffs.

'Right of course you do. Well we were talking yesterday morning and he invited me to this… _thing_ he's having on Saturday. I'm not exactly sure what it is but it's at his house and honestly I've never been to one of those 'group gatherings at people's houses' things before and all his friends are going to be there and I'm sort of nervous and I was wondering if you could come with me?' The woman rambles and practically trips over her own words until she gets to her point.

Emma's eyes widen in surprise. That was not the help she expected Mary Margret to need.

'Sure, I guess. As long as I give Henry money for pizza so he doesn't burn the apartment down while I'm gone it should be fine.' She answers, trying to keep the slight awkwardness at bay. Mary Margret sighs with relief and Emma smiles.

'Great, thank you. And you never know, maybe David has some cute veterinarian friends you will hit it off with.' Mary Margret grins, and Emma rolls her eyes.

'I am definitely not going to scope out potential partners, but thank you for the not so subtle push back into the dating world.' She teases, and the other woman laughs softly.

'You did say you wanted a fresh start here, and your crush on the supermarket guy is hardly going anywhere is it?' Emma freezes at the mention of her ridiculous yet somehow ever present crush on Killian. She tells herself that it doesn't really count because it's not like she met him at a bar or coffee shop or some other meet-cute like in the movies.

'Well it's kind of awkward to flirt with a guy I see when I do my groceries. Besides, I barely know him. It's a lot easier to just not get involved.' Emma wiggles onto the chair at the kitchen counter before looking over at Mary Margret, who his frowning at her with her arms crossed.

'If happiness was easy we'd all have it. But it's not, because we have to work for it. Opening up is difficult but the payoff is worth it, trust me.' She softens when Emma bites her lip and she walks over to her.

'I know I haven't known you that long but I really want you to be happy. Isn't that what friends are for?' Emma knows she's means it hypothetically but she moves to hug the other woman, surprising both of them. Emma smiles when she feels Mary Margret's arms around her, and she laughs before stepping back.

'I'm sorry, I got all emotional back there.' She shrugs, and Mary Margret laughs with her.

'See, emotions aren't all that bad.' She teases. Emma rolls her eyes jokingly and prepares two mugs for coffee. She's never had a friend like this before, and feels like something clicks into place in her life now that she has this friendship.

* * *

Killian ruffles his wet hair with a towel before pulling his work shirt on. It's Friday (finally) and after an unnecessarily long shower where he pondered over what to do, he has finally decided to ask the blonde woman out (along with her name of course).

He doesn't know what he will say to her or what will happen but he's decided that he's tired of being stuck in this rut of work and bed. He also made a decision to finally sort through the boxes of his brother's things this weekend. He knows they weigh him down every time he sees those company boxes and he finally needs to deal with it head on.

He puts on a small amount of cologne and brushes his fingers through his hair before leaving for work, anticipation building in his chest.

'Hey, Killian. I'm glad I caught you.' He hears, and it's his neighbour again.

'Hey, David.' He nods as he locks his door.

'So it's sort of last minute but I'm having this party at mine tomorrow night if you wanted to come?' David asks, and Killian frowns. Apart from a few hellos in the hall and lobby he barely knows this guy, let alone go to his party with a bunch of other people he doesn't know.

'I'm not sure what time I'll finish work but I could drop by at some point, sure.' He answers despite having no intention to actually show up.

'Great. It's actually not really a party. There's this woman-'

'Of course.' Killian cuts in with a chuckle. David joins in before sighing.

'Exactly. Well I hesitated when I went to ask her out and somehow I invited her to my non-existent party Saturday night, so if you can drop by that would great and definitely make me look less of an idiot.' David says, and Killian smiles. Perhaps it was his current predicament with the blonde woman that made him sympathetic towards this man's attempt to date but he actually considered going for a moment.

'She's also bringing a friend so it won't be a total guy-fest, I promise.' David adds and Killian laughs. He tells him he will try to come and he finds himself actually meaning it as he leaves for work. He definitely needs to take control of his life again and that includes making friends and taking chances.

He gets to work and heads to his checkout, hoping the woman hadn't come before his shift started. He waits for any sign of her, trying to look casual as he scans the aisles for her blonde hair. He sits back in his chair, realizing he's verging on creepy and sighs at himself. He honestly doesn't know how he went from being a complete ladies' man to a nervous wreck at the thought of this woman.

He sees her in his peripheral vision and he smiles reflexively. Her hair is pinned up messily with some of her curls falling down around her face. She's wearing black jeans with a white sweater instead of her usual red jacket and he likes the softer look on her just as much.

He hears her laugh distantly and he realizes she's on the phone. She seems so happy and relaxed and his desire to know her intensifies. She's a light he needs in his life and he watches her until she disappears into the next aisle, smiling as she speaks into the phone.

A customer comes to his checkout and he serves them with a ridiculous grin on his face despite himself. The customer pays and carries their bags away and he turns to look for her. His heart sinks when he sees her at the third checkout down from his. It's the first time in a month that she hasn't come to him and he feels deflated.

Killian had prepared himself for the moment he would talk to her, he hadn't prepared for not speaking to her at all. He looks away when he sees her leave to avoid the awkward eye contact. He wants to run after her and just blurt out everything he had practiced saying to her but he doesn't. He will keep it to himself, at least until next Friday.

* * *

'Are you sure you're going to be okay?' Emma asks for the millionth time that night.

'Duh, I'm 12, not 8.' Henry replies and Emma exhales nervously. The only time she left Henry alone at night was when she worked late shifts and he was already in bed by the time she was gone. She couldn't remember the last time she went out socially and it worried her.

'Okay, well I've ordered the pizza and it should be here in 15. Call me if anything is wrong, okay?' Emma says, standing in front of the TV so that he pays attention to her. He sighs and nods, and she smiles weakly.

'I'll see you later, love you.' She tells him before kissing his forehead and grabbing her purse from the table. She locks the door behind her and knocks on Mary Margret's. She's glad she decided to go casual when she sees Mary Margret in a simple black skirt and white shirt.

'Oh thank God, you went casual too.' Mary Margret sighs as she closes her own front door.

'Yeah I didn't like the idea of turning up to a room full of strangers wearing heels and a dress.' Emma laughs as they walk down the hall. They take Mary Margret's car (which Emma is glad about considering she'll probably need some drinks to get through the night) and drive to the address David texted earlier.

'I didn't see him today.' She says out of the blue, glad that it's dark out so her face is somewhat hidden in the car.

'I went to another checkout. He was busy and I thought I would look stupid waiting for him. I was going to ask him out but I guess I chickened out instead.' Emma continues, looking straight ahead at the back of the car in front of them.

'That's okay. You made the decision to act and that's the important thing.' Mary Margret says wisely from the driver's seat, but Emma frowns at her.

'Yeah but I didn't actually act on it so the decision making part is irrelevant.' She argues, but Mary Margret just shakes her head.

'The hardest thing is accepting that something needs to change. You accepted that you have feelings for him and want to do something about it. Maybe you didn't today but that's okay.'

'What are you, some kind of wise old grandma in a 30 year old school teacher's body?' Emma scoffs, and Mary Margret laughs.

'I'll take that as a compliment.' She smiles, and Emma smiles too.

They soon reach the apartment complex and park in the first space they see before making their way up to the fourth floor (David texted ahead to say the elevator was broken and Emma scowled at it when the entered the building).

Mary Margret knocks on the door while Emma hangs awkwardly back. David (she presumes) answers the door with a big smile and her awkwardness increases. The two of them are grinning at each other and Emma is now certain she will need alcohol to cope with the lovebirds.

David welcomes them in and gestures vaguely where each room is before offering them a drink. Emma gladly accepts a rum and soda before slipping away when David and Mary Margret begin making eyes at each other again.

She walks through the apartment with mild confusion as she hears a group of people talking about euthanizing a dog (a rather cheerful party topic) when she remembers David is a vet. She grimaces before finding the lounge area. There seems to be a group discussion going on about politics and she's about to turn back and leave when she notices the person sitting in the armchair in the corner of the room. Her mouth falls open at the sight of the guy from the supermarket.

He's wearing a black shirt instead of his usual blue uniform and his hair is a little messier than his combed over appearance for work. He is even more attractive like this and she finds herself staring. She pulls her eyes away and leaves the room, downing the rest of her drink before heading back to the kitchen for another.

The last time she had it this bad for a guy was when she was 17 and ended up pregnant in jail. She has a small amount of straight rum this time before exhaling.

Emma hears a familiar laugh and she looks over at Mary Margret, who is holding onto David's arm and giggling ridiculously at whatever he is saying. They look happy and entirely wrapped in each other and she suddenly feels jealous. She remembers what Mary Margret said earlier about having to work for happiness and she realizes she has the power to make that stab of jealousy she feels disappear.

She walks back to the lounge, her heart beating erratically when she sees him again. He lifts his eyes to look at her in the doorway and her stomach drops when their eyes meet, a smile curving his lips when he recognizes her.


	5. Chapter 5

He decided to show up at David's fake party that actually seemed pretty decent for being last minute. Killian didn't know anyone but there were about 30 people in various groups around the apartment and Killian wondered who they all were. Perhaps it was the fact that not even 3 people would come to a party he hosted that he questioned David's friends but he quietly made his way to the lounge and sat in the corner by himself anyway.

The group around him were casually discussing politics when a heated debate broke out. He listened with interest as they were all trying desperately to make everyone agree with them when his stomach dropped.

She was here, standing in the doorway, looking at him. She looked just as out of place as he felt and his heart squeezed at the sight of her. She's wearing her blue jeans and a grey sweater and despite her casual look he knows by her wide eyes that being here is anything but casual for her.

She walks towards him and Killian swallows thickly, unable to decide if he wants to welcome her warmly or sink further into the chair.

'Hey.' She says quietly with a small, awkward but endearing wave. She bites her lip in instant regret at the action and his heart flutters. She seems as nervous as he is and he's relieved.

'Hi there, lass.' Killian replies with a smile as he stands up so he is level with her. He holds out his hand for her to shake and her hand feels warm in his when she responds.

'I'm Killian Jones.' He says, his nervous smile turning into a grin when she raises her eyebrows at his introduction. They knew each other, in a strange and impersonal way, but he wants this time they talk to be different.

'Emma Swan.' She replies a moment later, her hand still in his. Emma Swan. He finally knew the name of the woman he had been admiring for a month now, and it was a perfect fit.

'It's wonderful to meet you Emma, you know, officially.' Killian laughs softly, his smiling widening when Emma joins in.

'You too, but honestly I'm really surprised to see you here.' She says a little more seriously, her hand slipping from his now.

'I could say the same about you.' He replies, watching as her eyes dart around the room before gesturing to the door. He follows her out into the hall and she seems to relax slightly at their more private surroundings.

'My neighbour knows David and invited me to come along. I was supposed to be here for friendly support because she likes him but she seems to be doing just fine without me. What about you?' Emma asks and he laughs.

'Actually David is _my_ neighbour. He arranged all of this so he could talk to a woman, most likely your friend, and I somehow got an invite to the last minute event. Small world, huh?' He says with a grin, watching her lips as she does the same.

A silence falls over them and he sees her nervously curl her hair behind her ear.

'Do you want a drink?' Killian asks when nothing else comes to mind.

'Sure.' Emma replies, looking relieved.

He leads her into the kitchen where the drinks are set up, grinning when he hears her scoff at David kissing a woman he presumes is her friend.

'I'm not sure if I should be offended or not at the fact that she brought me here to help but was successful without me.' She sighs as she slides onto the kitchen counter, her legs swinging gently as she picks up the bottle of rum he had his eye on. On top of everything else she was a rum drinker too.

'Don't fret lass, David is clearly smitten with her and needed little convincing.' Killian reassures her. He sees Emma watching her friend over the rim of her half-filled glass of rum and wonders if it is loneliness he sees in her gaze.

'She's an elementary school teacher and he is a vet. They're the kind of couple that would donate their honeymoon fund to charity and actually be happy about spending their post-wedding days in a rainy town instead of a sunny beach because they 'gave back to the community'. It's both admirable and sickening.' Emma shakes her head and he can't help but laugh loudly at her, to which she raises her eyebrows in surprise briefly before grinning herself.

'What? It's true. I'm way too selfish to be friends with this woman I swear.' She jokes. He pours himself a drink and tries to ignore the heat of her body when his knuckles graze her thigh as he puts the rum bottle back down on the counter.

'Ah, but at least you have a friend.' He takes a sip of rum to put something in his mouth that isn't his foot. Luckily Emma doesn't seem to pick up the self-loathing tone to his words and instead just shakes her head again.

'A month ago I didn't.' She says it quietly, running her finger over the rim of the glass and staring down at the amber liquid.

'I still don't.' Killian tells her more seriously than he had intended. Emma looks up to meet his eyes and blinks quickly before a smile curves her lips.

'What about me?' She teases, tilting her head playfully as she bites her bottom lip. His grip on his glass tightens slightly.

'I'm not sure about friend, but you're definitely my favourite customer.' Killian jokes, laughing when she nudges his shoulder light-heartedly.

'Did you just put me in the customer-zone?' She asks with fake shock and offense.

'I'm sure I can make an exception for you to move zones, eventually.' He retorts. He feels a buzz that definitely doesn't come from only one drink and he knows it's because of her.

'Eventually? You're really going to make me work for it, huh?' She seems to have relaxed since they started talking and he wishes he could say the same about himself.

'Well I have to be careful who I befriend, lass. You could be a serial killer for all I know.' He watches her as she raises an eyebrow and nods slowly.

'Are you cautious by nature or am I giving off serious homicidal vibes? Because I've been told I can be pretty scary.' Emma finishes her drink and puts the glass down on the counter beside his. He laughs and pours a little more rum into each glass.

'I am perhaps cautious by nature, but that's not to say the latter isn't true however.' He responds, wondering how on earth this beautiful, smiling woman could ever be considered scary, even if she was just joking.

She hums thoughtfully and he thinks about her not having friends until a month ago. Something happened in her life that made her so alone, just like it did him. She has a son but the father doesn't seem to be around, and she has a job but doesn't seem to be friends with her colleagues.

'So you know what I do for a living obviously, but what about yourself?' He clears his throat and straightens up as he changes the subject.

'I'm a bail bondsperson.' She answers simply, watching him closely to gauge his reaction. Somehow he isn't surprised at her occupation.

'And you moved here from Boston because…there are more bail skippers here than the city?' Killian says in disbelief. He's pushing and he knows it. There had clearly been another reason she moved when she told him a few weeks ago, and he almost regrets asking but she replies quickly.

'I did it for my son. He wasn't happy back in Boston so we moved.' Emma shrugs like it was simple, but having moved countries Killian knew that moving to a new place is never that easy.

'And is the lad happier here?' He asks, coating his dry throat with another sip of rum. Emma turns to look at him, her eyes narrowing as she watches him carefully.

'You almost sound concerned there.' She says it humorously but there is a note of genuine disbelief in her voice.

'I am.' He says as sincerely as possible. He sees the flicker of doubt in her eyes at her previous scepticism and she looks away.

'I think he is. Time will tell I suppose, but for now we're good here.' Emma cradles her glass in her hands and he notices how difficult it seems to be for her to talk about this.

'I'm glad to hear it.' He smiles and he is relieved when she smiles back.

* * *

They spend the night talking to each other and no one else and Emma wouldn't have had it any other way. Killian can go from being flirty to goofy in the same sentence, and he makes her laugh and smile more than she has in years.

He feels genuine and somehow despite her mountain of trust issues she knows his interest in her life isn't just a ruse to get into her pants. In fact despite many flirtatious comments he hasn't actually made a single move on her and it makes her both comfortable and uneasy. He doesn't appear to just want a night with her, but the thought of getting into anything longer than that with anyone makes her feel queasy. Emma Swan does not do commitment.

It gets to 11:30 and Emma winces at the clock in the kitchen.

'I should really go home now. I told Henry I would be back before midnight and wow does that make me sound like a princess with a curfew.' She laughs before finishing off her final glass of rum (she isn't sure how many she's had but for someone who can hold their liquor incredibly well she admittedly feels slightly drunk).

'We best go get your fairy godmother to give you a ride home then.' Killian says softly and she tries to not think too much about the expression of disappointment on his face. He follows closely behind her as she heads into the lounge and searches for Mary Margret, whom she spots grinning up at David as he shares an anecdote with the few remaining guests. She sees Emma and her eyes widen before she nods in understanding. Mary Margret hangs back to say goodbye to David and Emma makes her way to the front door, Killian still behind her.

'It was good to see you Killian, you know, outside of the supermarket.' Her heart squeezes when he does that adorable bashful scratch of his ear thing and she desperately wants to close the small gap between them.

'It was good to see you too, and to finally know your name.' He smiles. She doesn't know if it's the numerous drinks of rum she's had but his smile is dazzling and it frustrates her how beautiful his smile is.

'Would you like to know my number as well?' She replies quickly before her brain catches up and she groans with embarrassment.

'I'm sorry, that was terrible. My inebriated mind appears to have no filter tonight.' Emma mumbles, feeling her cheeks grow hot as she looks down at his shoes and frowns as they move closer to her.

'I would most definitely like to know your number, lass.' Killian says quietly as he brushes his phone into her hand. She types her number in under the contact he already created and looks up when his hand brushes hers again. The amusement in his eyes is gone, and his gaze is so intense that her heart feels like it's in her stomach.

She feels like she should say something but no words come out. His hand is warm against hers and she doesn't want to break whatever electricity is buzzing between them but she hears Mary Margret's laugh moving closer to them and Killian steps back.

'Goodnight, lass.' He says with a tone of finality. Despite the alcohol in her system and his lack of words she knows he wants more, and so does she. She thinks about kissing him (the way he wets his bottom lip with his tongue makes her crazy) but instead she smiles and forces her eyes to move up from his lips.

'Goodnight, Killian.' She murmurs quietly. She sees Mary Margret out the corner of her eye and she moves to open the door, looking back to smile at Killian before her neighbour closes the door behind them and sighs.

'Well I had a pretty amazing night, how about you?' Emma rolls her eyes and laughs but otherwise remains silent. She doesn't feel like sharing details of her night just yet.

On the drive back Mary Margret gushes about David and how he is taking her out on a date next weekend and how he was trying to figure out her favorite restaurant and how romantic he is. She doesn't stop talking until they reach their front doors and demands to know about 'tall, dark and handsome' when they see each other in the morning.

Emma rolls her eyes again and bids her neighbour goodnight before slipping into the apartment quietly. She takes off her boots and heads straight to her bedroom, peeking in to Henry's room on the way. He's sound asleep with his arm and leg hanging out of the bed and Emma smiles as she pulls the door ajar.

She changes into pajamas and wipes off her make up quickly before climbing into bed, sighing at the satisfaction of a soft surface after a long night out. She closes her eyes just as her phone vibrates and she frowns, hoping it isn't Mary Margret pestering her for details less than 5 minutes later.

_Killian here. Just wanted to make sure you got home okay. (I did too if you were wondering, the 5 second walk down the hall was tough though). Goodnight, Emma Swan._

Emma grins ridiculously at the text message, re-reading it 5 times and still hearing his voice in her head. She likes the way he uses her full name and how they share the same humour, but what she likes most is his genuine care for her. It's a simple thing, but no guy she has been involved with has ever sent her a quick message to make sure she was okay.

_That's good to hear, I was worried about you. I'm safely at home too,_ trying _to get some sleep. Goodnight, Killian Jones._

She sends her reply and pulls the comforter up around her neck to get warm as she attempts to fall asleep a second time. She drifts off as her giddiness settles and she quietly admits to herself that perhaps her affection for Killian is more than just a crush.


	6. Chapter 6

Henry is (finally) doing his homework while Emma bustles about in the kitchen making coffee and vaguely listening to Mary Margret's continued speech on how amazing David is.

'So is it a June wedding then?' Emma asks as she sits down beside Mary Margret at the counter, who just makes an exasperated sound as she accepts the mug of coffee.

'Okay fine, I'll stop talking about David, but only if _you_ share details on the cute guy you were talking to last night.' It was inevitable yet Emma was still hoping she could evade these questions. She hides her growing smile behind her mug and takes a drink of the hot coffee before preparing herself.

'He was attractive, charming and funny.' Emma shrugs simply, causing Mary Margret to raise her eyebrows expectantly.

'His name is Killian and he may also be the cute guy from the supermarket.' She waits for the squeal and sure enough Mary Margret is swotting her arm and gasping a second later.

'What, no way! How does he know David then?' She asks, wiggling in her seat excitedly. Despite Emma's initial dislike for discussing such issues she is strangely enjoying the fuss her neighbour is making over her love life.

'They're actually neighbours, Killian lives in 4C.' Emma smiles when Mary Margret gasps again.

'What a small world. We're neighbours and the two guys we like are also neighbours. That's definitely one of the benefits of living in a small town.' She laughs, and Emma joins in. She can't reminder a time she's felt this _light_.

'Okay, so how did he introduce himself, what did you talk about, did you kiss?' Mary Margret demands. Emma rolls her eyes playfully and launches into an account of the previous night. She feels her phone vibrate in her pocket and she just knows it's him but she waits, hoping to answer him without her friend buzzing around her and demanding to read his messages. Instead she just smiles wider in anticipation.

* * *

He sent the message 20 minutes ago and she hasn't replied. Maybe she's busy, maybe she put her phone down somewhere and just hasn't seen it yet. Or maybe she's ignoring him because she doesn't want to see him. Maybe she's trying to come up with a polite way of declining his request to see her (maybe ignoring him _is_ her way of declining).

Just when he decides to put his phone down it vibrates and he quickly picks it back up and opens the message.

_Sure, is Wednesday evening good for you?_

The message is short but he reads it over to make sure he read it correctly. He grins as he types back his response.

_Wednesday is great, I can pick you up at 7? The destination is a surprise though ;)_

He remembers her saying that there was an Italian restaurant just outside of town that she's wanted to visit since she arrived and he knew it was perfect first-date material. Emma messages back with her address and a teasing comment about anywhere but the supermarket is okay and he smirks.

_It's not the supermarket love, I promise. I look forward to seeing you then._

Their date is in three days and despite his eagerness for it to be closer he is just glad he doesn't have to wait until Friday to see her now.

Killian looks up from his phone and catches a glimpse of Liam's things in the spare bedroom. He closes his eyes and steels himself before entering the room and tackling the first box of the largest pile. It's a collection of badly folded clothes and he sighs with relief. Clothes are the least sentimental items of his brother's, and he finds a large garbage bag and tosses all of the shirts and pairs of jeans to donate to charity.

Three boxes of clothes later he is finally making progress and opens the next one. The lump in his throat forms quickly and he freezes. The box is full of things from Liam's bedroom: a few tattered copies of his favorite books, his uncharged iPod, a stack of business cards with 'Jones Brothers' printed on them and a photo album.

Killian brushes his fingers over the cover of the album to wipe away the layer of dust before he opens it. The first photograph is of the two of them as children, standing in the middle of Piccadilly Circus in London. Liam is holding two fingers up behind Killian's head while sticking his tongue out at the camera. Killian, unaware of his brother's goofy pose, is smiling genuinely, his dimples evident on his 6 year old face.

The next photograph is of Killian standing on the beach, swarmed by seagulls as he tries to eat his fish and chips. He remembers that day because the birds stole most of his food but his father refused to buy more because the food along the pier was too expensive for him to waste. He had been grumpy the rest of day, but he had never noticed Liam in the corner of the photograph with a wicked grin on his face.

The photos moved along to their teen years (Killian skipped quickly over the evidence of his gangly, floppy hair days) until the day they moved to America. Liam made them take a photograph at the airport in London when they left and the airport in New York when they arrived. They both looked so naïve and amateur, but as the photos progress they both mature over the years in the pictures of them wearing suits in their office building.

The last photo in the album is the day they redesigned the company logo, and they are standing next to the 'Jones Brothers' sign on their office door. Liam looks so proud, and Killian truly appreciates what their company meant to him. He sniffs and finds himself crying as he closes the photo album. He empties the box and finishes for the night, closing the door to the bedroom and promising himself that he will finish the rest next weekend.

The apartment is too quiet and he turns the TV on, relaxing at the background noise. He finds his phone in his pocket and opens his messages to Emma without thinking.

_I sorted through my brother's things today._

He knows she doesn't know. He knows that they haven't even had their first date yet and that personal baggage comes much later but he needs someone right now and she is the only person that can make it better.

_Are you okay? I'm here if you need me._

He finds himself getting emotional for a different reason and actually smiles. No one has asked him that in a very long time, and she doesn't even know about Liam's car accident and the waiting in hospital for him to wake up and the cold feeling when the doctors told him he wouldn't.

He sends a quick message back to say he is okay and exhales before making his way to the kitchen. He opens the top drawer and searches through the take out leaflets to find a handwritten Shepherd's Pie recipe that was once his mother's. He rolls up his sleeves and washes his hands before searching for the ingredients he needs. He hasn't cooked in a very long time but the familiar process of preparation comes back to him and he smiles. It feels good to feel like his old self again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: So no actual interaction between them but their first date is coming in the next chapter!


	7. Chapter 7

Emma paces up and down by the front door and shakes out her hands anxiously.

'Mom, are you scared?' Henry asks when he leaves his bedroom and notices her strange behaviour. She stops pacing and laughs shakily.

'No I'm not scared, just a little nervous I guess. Are you sure you're okay with me going kid? Because if you're not I can just cancel-'

'Mom stop using me as an excuse to chicken out.' Henry tells her with a shake of his head. Her eyes widen before she sighs and leans against the door.

'You're right, I am. I just haven't been on a date in a very long time.' She says it more to herself than her son but he nods and folds his arms as if he understands perfectly despite only being 12 and (to her knowledge anyway) has never been on a date.

'I just want you to be happy, and as long as he isn't like Walsh I'm happy too.' Emma flinches at the mention of her last relationship. Henry had been 9 at the time and it was the first serious relationship she had had since he was born. Emma had always been careful about who she brought home to meet her son and she truly believed Walsh was a good guy, but clearly that hadn't been the case.

A knock on the door behind her jolts her as she gasps before looking to Henry.

'Go Mom, have fun.' He encourages her with a smile, and she smiles weakly back before scrambling for her handbag and straightening out her dress. She opens the door and is only vaguely aware of the fact that her mouth hangs open.

Killian is wearing black leather pants and a jacket with a black shirt underneath, his top three buttons undone casually. His hair is slightly messy like the last time she saw him and she just wants to run her fingers through it.

'Hi.' She says breathlessly, glad to see he looks equally lost for words.

'You look so beautiful.' He says quietly, a smile curving his lips up as he looks over her light pink dress, bare legs and heels.

'Thanks. You look pretty good yourself.' She replies. She hears a cough from behind and cringes. Right, her son was still very much in the same room and listening to every word.

'Um, Killian this is my son Henry. Henry, this is Killian.' She says awkwardly, gesturing between the two as an attempt to introduce them. Killian smiles and extends his hand out to Henry, who is sporting his quirked eyebrow of judgement but extends his own hand in politeness.

'I've heard great things about you, lad. Your mother loves you very much.' Killian says genuinely, and Emma watches her son closely as his eyes narrow before he nods.

'And I love her just as much.' Emma knows it's her son's way of warning Killian not to hurt his mom and despite a semi-threat from a 12 year old not exactly being intimidating Killian nods like he knows exactly what Henry means.

'Okay, the lasagna is in the oven and should be ready in 10. Please remember to turn it off so that there is still an apartment for me to come back to tonight.' Emma tells Henry as she kisses his forehead and ruffles his hair teasingly.

'Yeah, yeah I got it. Have fun you guys.' Henry says, and she gives him a grateful smile before shutting the door and locking it behind her.

'Henry is exactly how I imagined a child of yours to be.' Killian laughs as they leave the apartment building and head towards his car.

'In what way?' She asks curiously as he opens the passenger door for her.

'Well he's definitely a little spitfire.' Killian answers with a grin as he leans against the door like some kind of model. Her cheeks warm and she looks down at her hands in her lap while he climbs into the driver's seat beside her. She doesn't like telling men that she has a child because their mind usually goes to two places; she's looking for a substitute father for her child or she's just an 'easy, bangable' soccer mom.

Killian seems to have respect for both her and her child and it eases some of her anxiety about going on this date.

'So where are you taking me? We're going in the opposite direction to the supermarket so that's a good sign.' She jokes when they start driving, allowing herself to glance over at Killian a few more times now that it is darker on the roads. He laughs softly and she finds the sound relaxing.

'Patience has never been your strong suit has it, Swan?' He asks with wiggle of his eyebrow. It's the first time he (or anyone) has called her by her last name and she actually quite likes it.

'Oh I can be patient, _Jones._ I just like to know where I'm going when I get into a car with a handsome man I barely know.' She realizes she complimented him without intending to but she leaves it; it's obvious she's attracted to him anyway.

'We're almost there, surely you can relinquish control for 5 more minutes?' Killian teases, and she rolls her eyes. He doesn't say anything about her compliment but she notices the way he dips his head down modestly.

Emma looks out the window and notices that they are on the main road heading outside of town. She frowns but otherwise says nothing. She shivers involuntarily, wishing she had brought a jacket when Killian silently puts the heater on for her. He probably would have offered his own jacket if he hadn't been driving and the thought makes her feel like a teenager again.

Just as she begins to relax she notices a building at the side of the road and Killian turns in to the parking lot. She smiles when she recognises the stringed white lights of the Italian restaurant she saw when she drove into town for the first time.

'How did you know I wanted to come here?' She asks in amazement as she takes off her seatbelt.

'You mentioned it the other night, which clearly you can't remember doing so.' He chuckles, and she bites her lip in embarrassment briefly (maybe she had more rum than she thought). He exits the car and quickly moves to open her door before she can. She's not usually bothered about the whole chivalry idea of men opening doors and taking hands and waiting on women but with Killian it feels natural, like he wants to do it for _her_ and not because it's expected of him.

They walk side by side up to the restaurant and are greeted by a smiling waiter with a large moustache and an accent, both of which are probably fake but it makes Emma smile anyway. He takes them to a table in the far corner, away from the two other couples dining there already (she isn't sure but she assumes by the wink and shared smiles between Killian and the waiter that he reserved this table specifically).

She settles into her seat and looks around the restaurant in admiration. It's quiet and calm and she's glad she finally has the chance to eat here. Their table is near a trellis with faux but beautiful flowers around it with white fairy lights tangled in between. The music is soft and relaxing and there is a gentle buzz from the staff and other customers that's strangely comforting.

'Do you like it?' Killian asks, pulling her back to reality.

'Yes it's beautiful. Henry doesn't really like fancy restaurants so we don't eat out a lot.' She laughs as she looks over the menu.

'So is it just you and Henry then?' Killian asks casually as he looks over his own menu. She takes a drink of the tap water beside her before answering.

'If it wasn't do you think I would be on a date with you right now?' Emma asks teasingly.

'I didn't mean it like that. I meant-'

'I know what you meant, and yes, it is just me and Henry. I was a foster kid, never knew my real parents and never had any siblings. Henry is my family.' She says nonchalantly. She doesn't want to beat around the tragic bush that is her childhood but after his message about his brother a few days ago she knows he isn't a stranger to family issues either.

'There's one perk to that right? No awkward Thanksgiving and Christmas gatherings with everyone arguing and kids screaming and relatives you hate asking about your professional and romantic life like they have a right to know your business.' Killian says with a shrug.

'Are you speaking from experience of such gatherings?' Emma replies. This is a conversation she truly despises but talking to him about it seems surprisingly easy.

'Actually no. My father left when I was 10 and my mother died soon after. Liam, my brother, took care of me after that. He was my only family, until he passed away after a car accident 7 months ago.' Killian glances down at his menu and her heart aches for him.

She reaches for his hand across the table automatically and he flinches before looking up at her.

'It's why I'm working at the supermarket. Turns out Liam's management role in our company was a lot harder than he made it look. No one wanted to do business with the younger 'playboy' brother after he was gone and the company fell apart.' Killian's laugh lacks humour and she squeezes his hand.

'I'm so sorry about your brother.' She offers quietly. He smiles weakly at her before sighing and shaking his head.

'I did not intend for our first date to start so intensely.' Killian exhales and Emma raises her eyebrows.

' _First_ date?'

'A man can hope.'

They share a smile as the waiter comes over to take their orders and Emma relaxes. Somehow it's reassuring to know that they aren't skirting around the sensitive issues, even if that has always been her favorite technique to protect herself.

* * *

'And I chased his ass down the street and slammed his head against the wheel of his car.' Emma laughs before finishing off her glass of wine. They both finished their desserts 20 minutes ago but the conversation is stilling flowing and he doesn't want it to end.

She's beautiful like this (she's beautiful in every way) with her cheeks rosy and her eyes sparkling. She's only had one glass of wine and he's reassured to know that she isn't drinking to get through the night like she did at the party.

'So compared to that 'date' how does this one fair?' Killian replies with a raised eyebrow.

'Hmm, considering this one is actually real I'm going to have to say that it's an improvement. And the company isn't too bad this time either.' Emma grins. He smiles at her comment and fiddles with the edge of his napkin on the table.

'I was going to ask you on a date last Friday. I'd planned out this whole thing in my head that I would say to you but you didn't come to my checkout and I just hoped I would see you next Friday.' He doesn't know why he tells her this. He got the chance to talk to her and now they're on a date but he feels the need to let her know.

'I was actually going to ask you out the same day too.' Emma admits, and he looks up at her in surprise. Her bashful smile is enough to tell him it's the truth and warmth floods his chest. That was the day she had her hair pinned up and was wearing the white sweater that made him want to wrap his arms around her. He was about to ask her why she didn't but stopped himself; it didn't really matter now after all.

Killian pays the bill (Emma frowns at him when he insists before her lips curve upwards) and they slowly walk back to his car, both full but satisfied after their food.

'So I told you about my last date, what about yours?' Emma asks once he starts the engine. The conversation had started as a joke but he can tell that she is genuinely curious.

'Technically yours wasn't a date, it was an uncover ruse to catch the guy.' He points out, and she groans.

'Okay you got me there.' Emma laughs lightly before it turns into a sigh and she shifts in the passenger seat beside him.

'My last _real_ date was about 3 years ago. We'd been dating for about 8 months at this point and we went to my favorite restaurant in the city. We were talking about Henry's science project at school and I said something about my kid growing up so quickly and suddenly he was down on one knee proposing. He said that we could start a new future together and that I could have the chance to raise another child 'right' this time. Of course that made me angry and I ran out of the restaurant and we argued on the street. He told me that I should be grateful for all that he had done for me and that I was lucky because women like me don't meet guys like him. Needless to say I broke up with him after that. I had always tried to be careful about who I invited into Henry's life and this guy had confirmed exactly why I needed to worry.'

There is a moment of silence after Emma stops talking. He felt anger boil inside him as she spoke, gripping harder onto the steering wheel as she described this jerk that she used to date.

'He sounds like a bloody arsehole to me.' He replies quietly, causing Emma to burst out laughing. He glances over at her and she's grinning and shaking her head.

'Yes, well I definitely had a string of expletives I referred to him with for a while, none quite as endearingly British as that though.' She cradles her handbag in her lap and he can tell that despite her laughter she finds it difficult to talk about her previous relationship.

'I'm sorry, bringing up my ex is like breaking one of the first date rules or something.' Emma continues apologetically.

'I've never been one for the rules anyway, lass.' Killian replies softly. She looks over at him gratefully and he glances at her before looking back at the dark road ahead.

'My last date was about 8 months ago. I wasn't in a relationship with her, it was just one date. She was sweet, attractive, funny and just my type. And I felt nothing. We saw a movie and went out for dinner afterwards and she did most of the talking. We said goodnight, went our separate ways and I never saw her again.' He turns into the street of her apartment complex as he finishes talking and he feels disappointment when he realizes their date is about to end.

'At least it was a clean cut getaway.' Emma says with a shrug.

He parks the car and fiddles with his keys as he stops the engine. He hears Emma take off her seatbelt and he does the same.

'I'll walk you up.' He says nervously and to his relief she smiles.

They make their way to her apartment on the third floor as Emma jokes about Mary Margret probably watching through her peephole. She sighs when they reach her door and she gets out her keys. He sees her hesitate and his stomach flips with anticipation.

'I had a really great time tonight.' She says quietly. He moves closer to her (blocking the view from her neighbour's door, just in case) and smiles at her.

'I did too. I never expected to end up sharing cheesecake with a customer.' She laughs at his bad attempt at humour and the sound makes him restless with desire. Her red lips are curved up in a smile and her lashes are fluttering, hiding her green eyes as she looks down. He's barely taken his eyes off of her all night, but she looks the most beautiful now that he is so close to her.

Her hair falls across her face and he automatically moves to push it back, his fingers running through the blonde curl as he hooks it behind her ear. Emma looks up then and her lips are still slightly parted as he hand lingers at the side of her face. He doesn't think, he just moves naturally and his lips are finally on hers. She responds immediately, her arm coming around his waist and her hand pressing his body into her. His own arm rests at her hip and he dares to pull her even closer.

He can smell her sweet perfume and feel the heat of her body and the taste of her lips and she's so intoxicating. Her lips leave his too soon but she stays pressed against him, exhaling with a shaky breath.

'Goodnight, Killian.' She whispers, and he feels the lack of her warmth straight away when she moves to unlock her door.

'Goodnight, Emma.' He replies, exhaling when she smiles before shutting the door. His lips still tingle from touching hers and he can't stop thinking about the little noises she made and the way she held on to him as he makes his way home. He goes to bed with thoughts of the beautiful blonde and how it is entirely possible that a person can be the silver lining to a bad situation.


	8. Chapter 8

'Hey Mary Margret, can I use some of your milk please?' Henry asks his neighbour politely as he holds a bowl of dry Lucky Charms in her doorway.

'Sure Henry, did your mom forget to get some at the supermarket yesterday?' Mary Margret replies as she lets the kid into her apartment.

'Nope, she didn't go grocery shopping at all.' The boy tells her as he pours milk into the bowl and starts chomping on the cereal. Mary Margret frowns. It was Friday yesterday, and Emma always went shopping on a Friday. Realization hits her and she sighs.

'Well I need to talk to your mom anyway so I'll come back over with you.' She tells Henry as she slips on her shoes and nods for him to head back across the hall.

They enter the apartment and Mary Margret sees Emma repeatedly vacuuming the same section of carpet. Emma looks up and her eyes widen at the sight of her neighbour before she turns the vacuum off and frowns.

'Henry was in need of milk, and I'm in need of a chat.' Mary Margret said with her arms crossed. Henry, completely oblivious to what is going on, turns on the TV and sits on the sofa to eat a spoonful of colourful marshmallows.

Emma purses her lips and leads her into the kitchen, putting the kettle on despite not having any milk and trying to avoid eye contact.

'Emma, I know exactly what you're doing.' Mary Margret begins, and Emma raises her eyebrows challengingly.

'Henry says you didn't go shopping yesterday. Funny that two days after your date with Killian you avoid going to the place he works.' Emma bites her lip and Mary Margret knows that means she's caving.

'I just didn't want to see him, that's all.' She shrugs, ignoring the kettle even after it boils.

'I thought the date went well?' Mary Margret asks softly.

'It did. _Too well._ Things are good here and I don't want to mess it up.' Emma explains.

'No offense Emma but by doing this you _are_ messing things up. Look, you have a chance at being happy with someone, why ruin that by being overly cautious? If it doesn't work out with Killian for whatever reason your life won't be ruined. Henry will still be a great kid and doing well at school, you'll still have a good steady job and you'll still have me as your friend. Trust me, you'll gain more than you will lose if you take a chance on him.' Mary Margret folds her arms with finality and Emma winces before running her hand through her hair.

'You're right.' Emma says reluctantly and she looks thoughtful as she finds her phone and sends Killian a message. Mary Margret smiles to herself; her friend isn't as stubborn as she tries to be when he heart tells her something different.

* * *

Killian hears his phone vibrate and he quickly washes off the gooey mixture of butter and flour off his hands before reading the text from Emma.

It had been three days since their date and he hadn't seen or heard from Emma, not even yesterday at the store like regular Fridays. He went over the date in his mind, always landing on their perfect kiss at the end of the night and the way she pulled him in and reciprocated. He had thought the night had ended well, but perhaps she had felt differently the next day.

_Are you free tonight? Henry is staying at a friend's house if you'd like to come over._

Normally he would have read the message as flirtatious but he can sense the underlying seriousness of her words after keeping quiet for the past three days.

 _Yeah, I can be there for 8._ He keeps it short and simple. He doesn't want to push when clearly something has changed. Killian sighs and finishes baking the batch of cookies he was making. At least she seemed to have the decency to end things with him in person (even if it had been less than a week).

* * *

There is a quiet knock at the door and Emma turns the TV off with the remote. Its 8pm on the dot and Killian is right on time.

'Hi.' She says with a small smile when she opens the door. Killian is wearing a grey sweater and jeans, more casual than she had seen him look before. He's holding a Tupperware box and he must see her confusion because he hands it to her with a shy smile.

'I was baking cookies and I thought Henry would like them.' Her heart squeezes and she continues to question why she was avoiding this man.

'Oh thanks, I'm sure he'll love them. Come in.' Emma opens the door wider for him and she notices him hesitate before nodding and walking into the apartment.

'So is baking cookies a habit of yours?' She asks as she closes the door, the click sounding too loud in the otherwise silent apartment.

'I enjoy cooking but I hadn't really taken the time to until recently.' Killian shrugs, and she can sense that he is nervous. Her eyes widen when she realizes that he probably thinks she isn't interested in him and that's why she ignored him and then asked him here, to end whatever it is that they have going on.

She puts the box of cookies down on the table and walks over to Killian, who is looking at the photographs of Emma and Henry on the mantelpiece.

'You have a nice place.' He says, and his voice is soft and sad.

'It's important that Henry feels like he has a home.' She replies, standing so close to him that their hands brush against each other's.

'And what about you? Do you feel at home?' Emma turns to look at him but Killian is still looking at the photographs in front of them.

'I'm beginning too.' She feels him sway slightly beside her and she wants to grab his hand and hold him steady.

'Killian, I didn't ask you here to end _this.'_ Emma gestures between them, not sure how else to refer to their relationship. 'I just wanted to explain why I was avoiding you.' She admits quietly, and Killian turns to face her then. She sees the hope in his eyes and she sighs before moves towards the sofa. She sits down and cradles a cushion in her arms as Killian follows her and moves to sit beside her.

'I'm sorry I ignored you after our date. The truth is that I was scared. I had a really great time and I panicked because…well I really like you, and that terrifies me.' It comes out in a shaky laugh and Emma doesn't look at him, instead looking down at her hand as she twists the ring on her index finger until Killian's hand stops her.

'I had hoped that was the case but I didn't want to be presumptuous.' He chuckles and Emma drops her shoulders in relief.

'Listen Emma, I know you have Henry to think about and you have every right to be cautious about who you have in your life, but I'll wait until you feel comfortable.' Killian tells her sincerely, and she studies him for a moment but only detects honesty.

She leans forward and presses her lips to his softly. It's not fast and desperate like their first kiss but it feels just as good to kiss him as she remembers. His hand runs through her hair and she melts into his touch.

'Thank you for understanding.' She whispers, and he hums in response before kissing her again. Emma smiles against his lips as she moves to straddle his lap, deepening the kiss as Killian's arms come around her back.

'You know, I'm pretty comfortable right now.' She adds, pulling back to look at Killian. His cheeks and lips are flushed, his hair is messy and his eyes are wide. She decides this is his most attractive look.

'Emma, are you sure? We don't have to label this a relationship just yet.' He says, and she laughs lightly.

'I know. But I want to.' She runs her hand through his messy hair and bites her lip when he flutters his dark eyelashes at her.

'But Henry-'

'Henry is old enough now to know that the person I'm dating is not his father. When he was younger I didn't want him thinking that the people I broke up with were leaving _him_ so I didn't date anyone. Things are different now, and I realize that there should be a balance between protecting my son and actually having a life of my own. So I'd like to be in a relationship with you, Killian.' Emma watches as a smile grows on his lips and she grins when his hands tighten on her hips.

Killian nudges her nose with his and the action is so affectionate it surprises her for a moment. He kisses along her jaw until his lips stop at her ear.

'I like the sound of that, Swan.' He whispers, making her shiver involuntarily against him.

'So…does this mean I get discount at the supermarket?' She teases, and she smiles widely at the sound of his laughter. He responds with another kiss and she likes his answer very much.


	9. Chapter 9

Killian stirs at the repetitive vibration of a phone on the coffee table and he groans. He's not entirely sure he remembers how he ended up falling asleep on Emma's sofa with her head on his chest but he certainly isn't complaining (although the ache in his neck gives him a small reason to).

'Emma, lass.' He says softly, shaking her shoulders to wake her up. She lets out a muffled moan and he smiles. She's awfully sweet when she's sleepy.

'I think your son is trying to reach you.' He tells her, and she moves quicker now, sitting up with a frown on her face, her blonde curls in disarray from sleep as she grabs her phone.

'It's only 9:15, I'm not supposed to pick him up for another two hours.' She mumbles as she calls him back. He hears the ringing on the other end and watches Emma as she chews her lip worriedly.

'Henry, what's wrong?' She asks as soon as he picks up. Killian can't quite make out the words but Emma's shoulders drop and he assumes everything is okay.

'Sure, of course kid. Let me know when you're on your way back home later though, okay?' Emma says before saying goodbye and hanging up.

'He's going to the movies with his friends today. He wanted to make sure it was okay before going.' She tells him, and she smiles at the thought of her son before groaning again. 'I do not like waking up at this time on a Sunday.'

Killian laughs and puts his arm around her shoulders, tucking her into his chest and kissing her temple.

'How about we have a lazy day then, Swan?' She looks up at him and he sees the surprise in her eyes.

'You don't have anywhere else you need to be?' He feels her hand on his knee and the way she presses herself closer and he smiles at the fact that she clearly doesn't want him to leave.

'Well I haven't been in a relationship for a long time but I'm quite certain that I should be spending my time off work with my girlfriend.' His heart jumps at how she smiles at the word 'girlfriend'. She leans forward and presses her lips against his gently and he knows that she had meant it to be short and sweet but he couldn't resist tugging her back in for more. He's decided that kissing her is his favorite thing to do.

'I didn't call you here last night thinking you would stay.' She says quietly when they separate to catch their breath. 'I just mean that I don't tend to have guys stay around my place.' Killian hears the worry creeping into her voice and he brushes her hair away and looks closely at her.

'I didn't stay for that reason Emma.' He says quietly, and he tilts his head as her cheeks turn a light red.

'But if you're suggesting it…' He adds, and her nervous lip bite turns to a grin as she rolls her eyes.

'We've been on one date Jones, contain yourself.' Emma laughs as she gets up off the sofa and stretches. He tries not to look at the glimpse of her stomach as her vest top rides up but he notices her raised eyebrow and smirk before she turns away and he shakes his head.

'Obviously I didn't go grocery shopping on Friday so your options for breakfast are cereal without milk, the end slices of the loaf that Henry avoids or eggs that have probably been here for far too long.' Emma calls from the kitchen and he follows her voice to find her licking a spoon of peanut butter as she leans against the counter.

'I take it you don't plan on sharing _your_ breakfast then?' He asks with a nod to the jar beside her and she hums as she moves her tongue across the spoon slowly (which has absolutely no effect on him whatsoever). After she's finished she holds out the spoon to him with a challenging glint in her eye and he responds with running his tongue across his bottom lip as he takes it from her (he knows by the way her eyes darken at the gesture that it _definitely_ affects her).

'It's a wonder Henry eats anything with nutritional value when his mother eats peanut butter straight from the jar for breakfast.' He teases as he scoops up a spoonful.

'Says the guy who brought cookies for my child.' She retorts before getting out two bottles of water from the fridge.

Their conversation feels natural, as does standing in her kitchen at 9:30 on a Sunday morning strangely enough. He laughs when she moves to take back the spoon and he holds it above them so she can't reach. She jumps up to try and grab it but he kisses her instead. She tastes like peanut butter and her hair smells like her lavender shampoo and he forgets about teasing her when she's in his arms.

'I'll accept your distraction this time, Jones.' She whispers, and he moves his free hand to rest at the waistband of her jeans. Emma tugs on his bottom lip and he can't help the groan that slips out.

He feels like they've been doing this for years yet every time they kiss it somehow feels new. Her body is pressed against his now, hip to hip as she sways into him. A sentiment rises inside him but dies before it can reach his tongue, thankfully. He forces it to the back of his mind in confusion before realizing that Emma had taken back the spoon and was grinning smugly as she stepped back to grab the jar of peanut butter and head back to the living room. He exhales and runs his hand through his hair before following the sound of her laughter with a grin.

* * *

'This is one of my favorite scenes.' Emma tells him just as the girl in the red dress pushes the man in black down the hill on the TV screen.

'Because it's so romantic?' Killian asks in confusion as he twists the tips of her hair around his finger.

'It is! Buttercup just realized that he is Westley.' Emma tells him, but he isn't looking at the TV. He looks down at her, cuddled up to him on the sofa and smiling as she watches her favorite movie.

'You didn't say why this was your favorite movie, lass.' He says quietly, moving his arm to wrap around her more. She wiggles beside him so that she is level with him and he can't help but look down at her lips before she speaks.

'I loved the movie growing up and I actually broke the tape of it because I watched it so many times, the black film was seeping out of the cassette and everything. I cried when it happened and my foster parents yelled at me and said I wouldn't get a new copy. When I was 13 I discovered a local movie theater that played it on a Saturday sometimes so I snuck in to watch it. I guess it reminds me of those dreams I had as a kid of going on an adventure, away from the reality of everything.' Her voice is steady but there is a hint of sadness beneath her words and his grip on her tightens.

'I'm sorry, I didn't mean to bring up bad memories.' He tells her, but she shakes her head with a sad smile.

'You didn't, and they're not bad, not really. My childhood sort of feels like a different life, and then soon enough I had Henry and everything changed.' It's the closest she has gotten to talking about the time Henry was born. He gathers that the father isn't around and perhaps never was, and Emma was only a teenager at the time.

'So what's your dream, Killian?' Her question pulls him out of his thoughts and he frowns.

'What do you mean?'

'You said it was your brother's idea to start your shipping business right? It sounds like that was his dream and not yours. So what is yours?' She turns to face him now, the movie forgotten about as the conversation shifts to a more personal level. The question takes him by surprise and he thinks for a moment.

'I've never really thought about my own dream. I suppose if there was anything I'd like to achieve it would be to become a chef or own a restaurant or something, but it's sort of a ridiculous idea.' He shrugs and looks down to where they hands are joined on his lap.

'Why is that ridiculous?' She asks firmly.

'Enjoying cooking doesn't mean I should get paid for it. Besides, I'm in my 30s with no professional experience, it's a little late for a career change.' He feels strange having this conversation, mostly because he had had it before with a less than pleasant outcome.

'Not necessarily. If it's something you really want to do you should go for it. Besides, working at the supermarket was meant to be temporary. If you were going to find another job it may as well be something you enjoy.' Emma makes it sound so simple and for a moment he indulges the idea of following his dreams but it disappears quickly when reality comes back to him.

'I can't really afford to pursue that right now. From paying off everyone in the company when it collapsed to paying bills I don't have a lot of money saved. Starting a new career would mean starting at the bottom in a low paid job and I don't know how long it will take to progress.' He sighs and Emma must sense his desire to change the subject as she simply squeezes his hand and turns back to the movie.

He can't focus on it however and his mind goes over her question about his dreams. This woman somehow keeps managing to make him think and feel things he hasn't before, and it terrifies him.

They quickly slip back into their conversation about the movie and Killian smiles as he watches her mouth along with the lines.

'I'm glad you're sharing your favorite movie with me.' He tells her, and she looks up at him with wide eyes as his words pull her out of her focus on the TV. Her expression softens and he notices the flecks of gold in her eyes and the freckles on her nose. Perhaps he is staring at her too hard but she leans forward to kiss him and he remembers that _this_ is now real between them and he welcomes the feeling of content this thought brings.


	10. Chapter 10

Emma casually looks over the stand of colourful sweaters as Henry snakes through the racks of men's clothing at the other end of the department store. He's growing so quickly that he needs new clothes every few months, but this time he insisted that he is old enough to choose his own now, so she lets him go look without his mother hovering (he still wants to use her credit card though).

She doesn't usually enjoy shopping but the mall is quiet on Tuesday evenings and the lack of other people makes it more peaceful. She's just browsing through the t-shirts when her phone vibrates in her pocket and she wonders if it's Henry asking her to pay when she sees Mary Margret's name on the screen.

'Hey Mary Margret, what's up?' She asks when she answers the call.

'Hey Emma. I was just wondering if you and Killian would like to go on a double date with me and David on Friday.' Mary Margret replies, and Emma stops walking and frowns. She hadn't exactly imagined her second date with Killian would include their neighbours.

'And where exactly did you get that idea?' Emma hedges, and she hears her friend laugh on the other end of the line.

'Well I just thought it would be a good way for us all to get to know each other and spend time together. I know _I_ would like to get to know the guy that makes you smile ridiculously.' Mary Margret says, and Emma scrunches her face in embarrassment.

'Okay, I'll ask Killian what time he gets off work on Friday and text you if we can come.' Emma replies before she can change her mind. Mary Margret squeals on the other end with excitement and Emma shakes her head and laughs as she says goodbye.

Emma begins heading towards the checkout to wait for Henry when a dress catches her eye. She doesn't _need_ a new dress for the date, but she hasn't indulged herself with anything material for a long time and despite her initial reaction she is actually looking forward to double dating on Friday.

She finds the dress in her size and goes to find Henry before she can put it back (she doesn't look at the price tag and is grateful the cost is not heart-attack inducing when the woman at the checkout scans it).

They head home with several bags of clothes as Henry attempts to justify why he needs the same shirt in three different colours and Emma hangs up the dress in her wardrobe with a smile.

* * *

Killian is admittedly nervous about the double date tonight. He had agreed to go and wanted to spend time with Emma but double dating with another couple was always a strange concept to him. David stopped him in the hallway and let him know that they were going to a seafood restaurant in town (one he knew was rather expensive) and that they would pick Emma and Mary Margret up at 7:30 for reservations at 8.

He sits at his checkout waiting for Emma, feeling more confident about it now that she was his girlfriend and not a stranger. He sees her pushing her cart up one of the aisles and his stomach flips when she looks over at him and smiles. He hasn't seen her since Sunday and he misses her her already.

It had been perfect that day, watching movies with her and laughing and kissing. He hadn't had a day like that in almost ten years and he had forgotten what it was like to be _with_ someone. Emma gives him a sheepish smile every time their eyes meet as she passes him and he just wants to run his hand through her blonde curls and kiss her.

She finally finishes her shopping and comes to his checkout and he wishes he didn't have to be professional right now.

'Hi lass.' He says with a grin.

'Hey there.' She replies, their hands grazing as he moves to grab the items she unloads.

'Are you looking forward to tonight?' Killian asks her, raising his eyebrows when she scoffs in response.

'Honestly I didn't think we'd be spending our second date with another couple, but otherwise yes, I am.' He's glad she feels the same way about double dating but he doesn't voice his own opinions on the matter. 'I'm just glad to see you.' She adds, and he forces himself to act casual.

'I'm glad to see you too, love.' He scans her items slowly, both to spend more time with her and because he is distracted by her smile. He feels like a lovesick fool grinning at her but he's actually happy and he's embracing it after feeling down for so long.

'So I thought about what you said, about the job situation, and I've signed up for a cooking class. It's nothing fancy but it's a start, right?' Killian tells her. She's smiling when he looks back up at her and he laughs.

'Killian that's great.' She curls her hair behind her ear as she looks at him and it melts his heart.

'I also put your name down, if you were ever interested in coming with me.' Killian scans the last item through and fiddles with the machine before looking back up at her. She is still smiling but it's different this time. It's something he wouldn't have necessarily noticed in someone else but he seems to be quickly catching onto her personal expressions and gestures.

'I'd love to.' Emma says genuinely.

'Great, the first class is on Monday.' He replies as Emma takes her card out the machine after paying.

'Sounds good, and I'll see you tonight.' She tells him quietly as another customer comes up behind her. They share a smile as she leaves and he misses her already.

* * *

'David just messaged to say they're parked outside.' Mary Margret says as Emma slips on her heels. Henry had already eaten dinner and was playing his video game happily as Emma prepared to leave.

'Okay kid, we're leaving now. I'll be home in a few hours, call if you need me.' She feels strange saying this to him so many times recently, having never really had a social life like this before. Henry nods before returning back to his game, clearly more interested in battling zombies.

She heads down with Mary Margret and smiles when she sees their dates waiting in the lobby. Mary Margret and David hug and share a quick kiss as they greet each other and Emma sees Killian turn around to face her.

'How is it you look more beautiful every time I see you?' He whispers in her ear as he puts his arm around her and kisses her cheek (which flames with heat at his compliment despite only saying it loud enough for her to hear).

'Well your attractiveness accelerates just as much, trust me.' She responds, biting her lip when he laughs softly.

'Are we ready to go?' David asks, pulling Emma back into the reality of being in the company of people other than Killian. She nods and they follow David to his car, where Killian opens the door for her (with a ridiculous bow and hand gesture that makes her snort and roll her eyes).

Their neighbours chat animatedly in the front while they drive and Emma is grateful that they aren't forced into a group discussion just yet.

'I was thinking about introducing you to Henry, properly this time. Maybe the three of us could do something next weekend?' Emma says quietly. The middle seat is left empty between them in the back of the car but she can still feel the heat of his body like they are touching and it drives her crazy.

'I'd love to, but only if you're sure?' Killian replies, taking her hand and lacing their fingers together. His thumb is brushing over her skin and she can feel his eyes on her and she truly wishes they could be alone right now.

'Yes, I'm sure. I'd like you two to get to know each other. I don't want either of you thinking I'm _hiding_ you from the other, and Henry seems keen to know you.' She makes eye contact then, his blue eyes still bright even in the darkness of the night outside.

'Really?' Killian asks, and he sounds genuinely surprised.

'He said he wants to know the person who is making his mother smile more.' She tells him, and the way his eyes soften makes her heart clench.

'Then I'd be honoured to spend time with your son, lass.' Killian says and she exhales shakily and smiles just as David reverses the car into a spot in the parking lot.

They enter the restaurant and the waitress takes them to their reserved table in the corner. Killian moves her chair for her before sitting opposite her and grinning at her from across the table. They order drinks and Emma begins to relax as the conversation drifts to how each of their days went.

'I had to deal with the world's crankiest cat today. Let's just say I needed to wear thick gloves before I gave it the injections.' David says, and Mary Margret laughs hysterically as he recreates the moment.

'I had a much more peaceful day actually. I gave my students a creative writing challenge and they were all so into it they forgot it was time was recess.' Mary Margret tells them as their round of drinks arrive.

'Well I have Fridays off, so I had a wonderful day not being at work.' Emma says, and they all groan exaggeratedly in jealousy before David turns his attention to Killian.

'And what about you, Killian? Anything exciting happen at work today?'

Emma watches Killian as his expression changes. He glances over at her quickly before clearing his throat.

'Nothing out of the ordinary. The best part of my day was getting to see Emma actually.' Her cheeks are definitely red now, but she ignores the noises coming from Mary Margret to look at Killian. He's looking at her in a way that makes her inhale sharply and she's grateful for the waiter coming at that moment to divert everyone's attention.

After their orders have been taken their discussion moves on to more casual topics, but Killian keeps looking over at her throughout the conversation.

'What do you think about it, Emma?' She hears Mary Margret ask beside her and her eyes widen. She feels like she's been caught daydreaming and she takes a drink of her wine before speaking.

'What do I think about what?' She feels Killian's leg brush against hers under the table and swallows thickly as she tries to ignore the contact.

'The mayor is trying to tear down the popular kids park in town and all the parents at the school are going crazy about it. She's defending herself by saying its old and unsafe and a new one will be built but the kids love that park. Do you think it's a good idea?' The question reminds her why she avoided being on the PTA at Henry's schools but she keeps that to herself.

'Well I'm sure if the park Henry loved when he was younger was getting torn down I'd be angry but I suppose their safety is the most important thing right?' Emma has no idea what everyone else's views on the matter were and she is not up for a debate but Mary Margret nods in agreement and Emma relaxes. She's never been very good at this sort of conversation.

'Oh that's right, Mary Margret mentioned you have a child. How old is he?' David asks.

'He's 12, turning 13 in a few weeks actually. He's at an age where he's more interested in video games than play parks.' She knows that they are all calculating how old she was when she got pregnant because it's what everyone does when she mentions having a child.

Emma also knows that Killian wouldn't and doesn't judge her on such matters, but she doesn't really know David. He smiles warmly at her and she's surprised for a moment at his lack of disgust that she was a teenage mother, but then she remembers Mary Margret gushing about him and if any of it were true he doesn't sound like that kind of person.

She decides that he is a nice guy and returns his smile (he also wins further brownie points when she notices the way he looks at Mary Margret when she isn't looking, he clearly adores her friend).

* * *

For all his internal moaning about double dating Killian is actually rather enjoying himself tonight. He's learned that David is a pretty great guy and that Mary Margret is sweet and kind and perfect for his neighbour. They finish each other's sentences and both care about animals and children and the environment.

He's also learned that had he and Emma not met each other in the supermarket their neighbours probably would have set them up together eventually anyway, which makes Emma scoff and turn red as she looks at him.

Emma has already told him that she was interested in him the first few times they saw each other but hearing it from her friend makes his stomach flip. Emma had told Mary Margret about him, and for someone who doesn't share a whole lot with people it means something that she mentioned him.

David and Mary Margret are busy sharing their dessert when Emma reaches for his hand across the table. Her touch surprises him but he grips onto her and smiles, squeezing her hand when she laughs lightly. He feels the words creep up on him again and he swallows thickly to push them down. Those words are definitely not appropriate after one week of dating.

They stay for a while after finishing their food and drinks and chat about what they would like to do when they retire (golf is David's guilty pleasure and Mary Margret would like to take up bird watching) before Emma suggests they make a move (he notices her avoiding the question).

He takes her hand as they leave the restaurant and pulls her close, wanting to be closer to her the entire night. She rests her head on his shoulder in the car as they drive back to her apartment and he kisses the top of her head, causing her to hum happily.

David parks the car but doesn't move to get out and Killian takes the hint.

'Come on lass, I'll walk you up.' He says to Emma, who frowns before nodding in understanding.

'It was great to meet you properly David, Mary Margret has definitely found a keeper in you.' Emma tells David from the backseat and smirks when her friend side-eyes her from the front.

'Well thank you Emma it was nice to get to know you too, a woman's best friend is just as important to win over.' David laughs, causing Mary Margret to playful smack his arm.

Emma shifts across the seat and Killian moves around the car to open the door for her. They walk slowly towards the apartment building, his arm resting loosely across her shoulders.

'You never answered the question about retirement, love.' He muses out loud, and he feels Emma's shoulders move beneath his arm.

'I don't have any retirement plans, is that something all 30 year olds _should_ have?' She jokes, and he kisses her temple before opening the building door for her.

'Not exactly, but haven't you ever pictured what you would be doing when you finish working?' He says as he presses the button for the elevator.

'Honestly, no. I don't like thinking past what I'm going to eat every night. The only time I ever thought about the future was when I was in jail and I focused on getting out.' Emma says quietly, and he realizes she's being serious. It was the first time she had mentioned she had been in prison but he doesn't question her on it.

The elevator doors open and once they're standing inside he takes her hand again.

'The future doesn't have to be scary you know.'

The doors close and suddenly Emma's lips are on his. She's pressing him against the wall and her hands are in his hair and across his neck. He holds her to him, his hands moving across her waist and resting on her hips. Her moans are muffled against his lips and feels heat course through his body.

He vaguely hears the ding of the elevator reaching her floor and she pulls away from him and walks down the hall to her door. He follows her out and walks beside her, noticing the way she brushes down her hair.

'I wish it had just been the two of us tonight because that would have happened a lot sooner.' She says with a shy smile when she turns to face him. He laughs and she pulls him by the lapels of his jacket and sways into him.

He leans the rest of the way and kisses her, celebrating the fact that he is now close enough to feel her warmth and smell her perfume. He hears voices from down the hall and reluctantly breaks away from Emma.

'I can't wait to see you Monday.' She whispers, and he brushes his nose against hers as he nods in agreement.

'Until then, love.' Killian watches as she retreats into her apartment and he exhales. He's got it so bad for this woman.


	11. Chapter 11

Emma opens up the browser on her laptop despite knowing that she _should_ be updating the case files on her desk and hits enter on the Google search. It's perhaps ironic that she is looking up jobs for someone else while she is at work but she can't shake the thought of Killian wishing he could quit his job and actually do something he enjoys.

She finds a few culinary jobs in the area and even a head chef role but most of them require experience that Killian doesn't have and the job searching process reminds her why she stuck to the same field when she moved.

She does finally come across a catering job that seems to only require 'a passion for food and good customer service'. She bookmarks the page and makes a mental note to share it with Killian later. Just as she scrolls across the page to close it she notices an ad at the side and clicks on it with interest. It's a listing of a vacant building in town near the harbour, an independently run restaurant that the owner has put up for sale. Emma bookmarks the listing too, just in case.

* * *

Killian laughs as he watches Emma perfect her bow shaped pasta at their workstation.

'What?' She asks with wide eyes as she adds it to her small pile of pasta shapes beside her.

'Well, it's just we would be eating at midnight if we only relied on you making the pasta, Swan.' Killian teases, resting his hand on her back as she looks up at him with a frown.

'I thought one of the 'golden rules' was that presentation is just as important as taste when cooking.' Emma deadpans, repeating the words the teacher of the cooking class had told them at the beginning.

'Aye, but there's a point when my stomach would prefer food than my eyes would prefer something aesthetically pleasing.' Killian says as he adds her small pile to the pan of boiling water on the stove.

Emma playfully hits his arm as she laughs and he catches her wrist, tugging her closer to him with a smirk.

'I suppose you would have preferred to be partnered up with the woman over there then? She's already making her pasta sauce, at least she could feed you quicker.' Emma says quietly, fighting to keep her grin at bay.

'But she's not you.' He tells her, watching as her cheeky grin changes to a soft smile. She has a habit of fluttering her eyelashes when he compliments her but he knows it's out of humility and not flirtation. He forgets that they are surrounded by others and only focuses on her.

'I didn't plan on sharing you with anyone else anyway.' Emma replies, kissing his cheek lightly before turning back to the stove. Killian pretends that his red cheeks are from the heat of the kitchen, but there's a smug glint in her eye that tells him she rather proud of herself.

He starts preparing the tomatoes for the sauce when the teacher glances over at them disapprovingly. It appears that they are further behind than everyone else and that it is definitely not a class for couples.

* * *

'I'm surprised they didn't ban us from ever returning.' Emma snorts as they exit the community center hand in hand.

'I thought the old lady in the pink sweater was going to explode with how red her face was. You'd think they'd never seen two people in…a relationship.' Killian chuckles, but she catches his slight pause.

_Was he going to say in love?_

'To be fair, you really didn't _have_ to kiss the sauce off my lips.' She replies, filing away that thought to the back of her mind and focusing on the present conversation.

'I'll take any excuse to kiss you though, lass.' He jokes, and she doesn't want to leave his side when she remembers they came separately and she needs to head back to her own car. He doesn't let go of her either and she's reassured that he feels the same way.

'I had a lot of fun tonight, despite being surrounded by grumpy old people.' Emma says lightly, and he smiles and presses a kiss to her forehead.

'I did some research for you earlier.' She blurts out and he frowns. She wasn't going to tell him straight away but it sort of feels necessary after they attended a cooking class that was meant to help him progress with his career ambition.

'It wasn't exactly research, but I did look into some culinary jobs that you could apply for. There was one for a catering company that didn't require years of experience that I thought might be a good fit for you.' Emma watches him as he takes a step back and she realizes quickly that there is something wrong.

'You didn't need to do that for me.' Killian says quietly, and the amusement is gone from his expression now as he stares at her with a frown.

'I know but I pushed you into thinking about it so I wanted to help you out with it.' She isn't quite sure what his problem is and she feeling her stomach sink at the anger she sees in his eyes.

'I didn't ask for your help, Emma. I thought about pursuing it for a fleeting moment, that's all.' He shoves his hands in his coat pockets and it's the first time she's seen his body language so distant from her.

'Killian, I'm sorry if I was out of line but just because you don't ask for help doesn't mean I can't. When you signed up for this class I thought that meant you were serious about making steps to achieving your dreams so I wanted to do something for you.' She doesn't want this to be an argument (their _first_ argument) but if his clenched jaw is anything to go by it's definitely turning into one.

'Well perhaps you should stop focusing on other people and look at yourself before you preach about achieving dreams.' He tells her, and she flinches at the harshness of his voice hitting her like a slap in the face.

'What's that supposed to mean?'

'It means that for someone who is pushing me into something you do like to run away from things. You ran away from foster care, you ran from your relationships, you ran from your life when it got too hard. Probably the only time you haven't run away is when you were locked up in a prison cell.'

His words make her feel sick. She is silent from shock, shivering as the cold of the night and his insults drain her of warmth. Her eyes sting with tears that she is furiously trying to keep at bay and she can't look him in the eye anymore. She sees him shrug before muttering 'goodnight' and walking away.

Emma stands there for a long time, even after he gets in his car and drives away. She hears voices from behind her and she rushes over to her own car before letting herself cry. She doesn't understand how those venomous words fell from the lips that had kissed her so affectionately mere minutes before. She doesn't understand why he was so angry at her, and why he hurt her back so much. He knew all the right buttons to press (she thought him knowing her so well had been a _good_ thing).

She drives home as she tries to wipe away her tears and she exhales and blinks repeatedly before going into the apartment. It's only 8:15 but Henry is asleep on the sofa, the menu screen of his video game flickering in the dark apartment. She turns the lamps on and pulls a blanket over him before kissing his forehead gently. She moves to pick up his glass of soda when she notices the box of cookies on the table, and she bites her lip to stop herself crying again.

Emma goes to bed early that night, not even checking her phone for any messages (he was hardly going to apologize for something he clearly meant to say) and she is glad for the invention of sleeping pills to shut her brain off for a few hours. She knew it was all too good to be true.

* * *

Killian shifts on his heels as he waits for his neighbour to answer the door. His head is pounding and he knows that lack of sleep is just one of the reasons why. David opens the door and his warm smile quickly fades when he sees Killian. He simply nods for him to come in and Killian looks down, unable to meet his eyes when he knows there is judgement behind them.

'I suppose you've spoken to Mary Margret then?' Killian asks as David shuts the door and sighs.

'Well when she told me she wouldn't be able to make our date tonight because she needed to be there for her friend I caught on quickly. Killian what were you thinking?' It's not as accusatory as it really should be, but David's disappointment in him is much worse than anger.

David sighed again before walking to the lounge and Killian followed sheepishly.

'Listen I know you care for Emma and there's not a doubt in my mind that you adore for her, so why did you hurt her like that?' His confusion is genuine and Killian closes his eyes and grits his teeth.

'This isn't strictly about her. Look, some things happened a few years back and it all came back to me last night with Emma and I acted out of pain. I suppose I was trying to protect myself from getting hurt again and in doing so I hurt her more. I know there's no coming back from this, the things I said to her were cruel and I abused her trust and used it against her. She was the best thing in my life and I ruined it.' He runs his hand through his already messy hair and tugs, the slight sting at his scalp too little of a punishment for himself.

'We all have things in our past we wish we could ignore, forget and never experience again, but they aren't an excuse to hurt people. My advice is to talk to Emma. Mary Margret says she's confused and as hurt as she is she wants answers. I'm not saying it's going be easy and she may not even forgive you, but she deserves to understand what happened.'

Killian feels a lump in his throat and he bites his tongue forcefully. He thinks about the first time he saw Emma, with her blonde curls and green eyes and beautiful smile. It's only been a few weeks but he knows now, when their relationship and her trust is on the line, that he loves her. He gets out his phone from his pocket and messages her, nodding at David once he presses send.

 _I'll be there at 8._ Emma messages back a few minutes later and he exhales. It doesn't mean everything is fine but it means that she has agreed to see him and hear him out, which is already more than he should ask of her.

The rest of the day Killian's stomach churns as he stares at the clock from his checkout at work, both anticipating and dreading the moment Emma will knock on his door.


	12. Chapter 12

Emma paces the hallway outside his apartment thoughtfully. It's almost 8 and she still has time to leave, if she wants to. She battled with herself about even coming and now she is here the doubt still remains. On one hand she really doesn't want to hear him out at all, she should be smarter than that. But on the other hand she knows deep down that there is an explanation for how he acted and maybe she shouldn't write him off just yet.

She shakes her head and knocks on the door, rubbing her hands together nervously. Killian opens the door and she wasn't sure what to expect but despite everything her heart still picks up at the sight of him. He has dark circles under his eyes and his hair is a mess (and not in the usual attractive way). His eyes look watery already and Emma is at least satisfied to know he seems to feel guilty.

'Hey.' He says quietly, his voice sounding distant and not like his own.

'Hey.' She repeated, glad that her voice didn't crack and give away how emotional she was. Killian gestures for her to come in and she walks past him into the apartment. It's similar to David's in structure but has a completely different feel. The main room is sparse of furniture and personal items and it tugs something inside of her.

Emma notices his work shirt on the back of the sofa and she bites her lip at the memories it brings back of their first meeting. She moves towards the sofa without thinking and sits down. Killian looks surprised for a moment before silently following her, sitting in the armchair furthest away that he clearly never uses.

'Look, I came to hear what you have to say, but I don't care for you profusely apologizing so please don't. I just want to understand what's going on with you.' She tells him, feeling more confident now that she is sitting in front of him. Strangely it's easier to deal with everything now that she is seeing him in person rather than simply imagining this scenario.

Killian exhales and grips onto the arm of the chair before shifting to rest his hands in his lap, clearly feeling awkward. 'Okay, well I won't apologize _profusely_ but I do need to do it at least once. I'm sorry for the things I said, I was out of line and I shouldn't have hurt you like that.' Killian says quietly as he rubs his hands together nervously.

'I appreciate your apology Killian, but what you said was true, I _do_ run away, but _you_ were pushing me away when you said that stuff and I know there's a reason why.' Her anger is slowly dissipating as she watches him. He has hurt in his past like she does and he was patient with her when she had doubt, and she knows she should do the same for him. He nods and looks up at her and she's never seen him look so vulnerable before.

'10 years ago I met the woman of my dreams. Her name was Milah, and she was bold, ambitious, and adventurous and I was head over heels in love with her. I was in my last year at university and she was the TA in my lectures. We started dating and I was happier than I had been in years. We had been dating for 10 months when I graduated and I began regretting my business degree because I couldn't find a job and after all that I wasn't really interested in pursuing a business career.

'Milah asked me what I really wanted to do with my life, and I told her about my interest in cooking. She immediately helped me out and got me a job interview at a well-respected and very competitive restaurant in London. It was an amazing opportunity and I was so excited, until the interview happened and I discovered that the owner of the restaurant was actually Milah's husband.' Killian's jaw clenches and she sees how much it bothers him even now, after all this time.

'So she was married the entire time?' Emma asks quietly, and Killian nods slowly.

'It all blew up when he found out about me. I confronted Milah about it and she told me she loved me but all I could think about was how I was her bit on the side, someone to mess around with while her husband was away on conference calls and business trips. It was only made worse when I discovered they had a child too. She was good at keeping it all a secret, though. For the past 10 years all I could think about was how it wasn't even real for her.' He rests his head against the back of the armchair and sighs and she wonders if he has ever told anyone else about his broken heart.

'This isn't an excuse for how I acted, but when you told me about the jobs you had found for me it brought back these memories and I just reacted in that way to protect myself.'

Emma walks over to him and takes his hand, much to his surprise. She smiles weakly and perches against the arm of the chair close beside him.

'Maybe from now on we should share these things with each other, okay?' Emma asks, and Killian lets out a strange laugh of confusion.

'You mean you don't want to end things?' He says, gripping her hand tighter despite his doubt.

She laughs and leans in to nudge him with her shoulder. 'Not just yet, Jones. We had a fight, some hurtful things were said but we talk it over and get passed it. I've heard it's what mature adults do in relationships.' She sees the amazement in his eyes and she knows she's made the right decision.

'So…we're good?' Killian asks hopefully, and Emma's smile fades.

'Yes, but I think I should explain something to you too. You had your heart broken by Milah, mine was broken by Neal.' Killian nods in understanding, and she breathes in deeply before continuing.

'I met him when I stole my car and he was lying in the back seat sleeping. Turns out he had stolen it too, and we ended up bonding over our less than upstanding lifestyles. I was 17, he was 23 and I fell hard and fast for him. We lived the Bonnie and Clyde life for a while before he suggested settling down somewhere. He had these watches that he was going to sell to get enough money to start over. We planned to meet up after he had the money but he stood me up and the cops showed up. I ended up going to jail for theft and after being in there a few months I found out I was pregnant. I gave birth to Henry while I was cuffed to the bed.'

Emma didn't realize how much it still upset her until she explains it to him, and he tugs her until she's sitting on his lap with his arms around her.

'I'm so sorry Emma. When I said those things about you being in jail I had no idea-'

'I know, because I hadn't told you. It's not exactly a great topic of conversation for a date, and neither was your history. Just promise me we won't let our pasts get in the way again.' Emma says with a sigh before smiling when she feels Killian's chest vibrate as he laughs behind her.

'I certainly hope not. I just forget that I actually have someone to share these things with now.' He says, and his lips are tracing the shell of her ear and she wriggles slightly.

'Please remember that whenever something bothers you, okay? I will listen and support you, you don't need to push me away.' Killian wraps his hand around hers tighter and she relaxes further into him.

'Aye, as long as you remember the same, lass.' He presses a kiss to her neck and she blinks away tears.

'I missed you. I know it's only been a few days but I hated not speaking to you.' Emma admits, and Killian moves his lips across her jaw and cheek.

'I know Swan, the distance pained me just as much. But we've made it through our first fight as a couple right?' His fingers trail under the sleeve of her shirt and his touch causes goose bumps to rise on her skin. She hums in agreement and closes her eyes. She thinks about how they are both still scarred by their first loves, by their pasts and the fear to let themselves open up and feel again.

Emma has been cautious with her heart and though she was hurt by his words in his own moment of pain she is happier since he came into her life, and the prospect of falling in love isn't as daunting as it once was.


	13. Chapter 13

'Okay kid, be honest with me, is miniature golf a ridiculous idea?' Emma asks Henry as she scrolls through the list of ideas for things to do on her laptop.

'Well we haven't been since that time when I was 7 and the guy in front of us was actually the guy you were trying to track down for work.' He replies after finishing his glass of orange juice from across the table. Emma groans at the memory and her son laughs.

'But I'd like to go again, with less distractions this time. Or at least I could distract _myself_ while you and Killian make out behind me.' Emma's eyes widen and she opens her mouth awkwardly before Henry laughs again.

'I'm kidding, mom.' He tells her with a grin and she laughs nervously.

'So, does that mean you're okay with Killian joining us on Saturday?' Emma asks, internally cringing at how obviously concerned she sounds.

'Sure, I'd like to get to know him. Maybe if he's cool I can go fishing or sailing or something with him too.' Henry says more seriously with a shrug of his shoulders, and Emma's heart drops.

'Is that something you're interested in?' She glances over her laptop at him and he is trailing his finger along the decorative swirl on his empty glass.

'I guess, the guys at school talk about their fishing weekends with their dads a lot and it sounds fun.' Emma slowly closes the lid of her laptop and focuses on Henry, who is now lining up the place mats on the table to avoid looking at her.

'Does it bother you, not having your dad around?' She knows the answer, but until now she felt Henry had been too young for this conversation. They had briefly talked about it a few years ago when Henry asked what happened with his father, but she had been hesitant to discuss it further.

'Sometimes, but not specifically _my_ dad, just a father figure I guess.' Henry says quietly, and Emma moves to sit in the chair beside him.

'You shouldn't feel bad about feeling those things Henry, it's perfectly understandable. I tried to protect you by not introducing people into your life that could leave so easily, but I know it can be difficult not having that person to look up to.' Emma smiles encouragingly at her son and is relieved when he smiles back.

'Thanks Mom, and I love you and everything, I just-'

'Need someone to talk to and do guy stuff with, I get it. And I know Killian is a new addition to our lives but he is definitely interested in getting to know you and I'm sure he will be all ears if you want to talk to him.' Henry nods at her and she smiles again before standing up and putting a hand on his shoulder.

'Come on kid, otherwise you'll be late for school.' She tells him, and Henry groans as he picks up is backpack and slouches it over his shoulder. Emma gets her keys and handbag and locks the door behind them as they leave.

 _How does miniature golf with Henry sound on Saturday?_ She messages Killian on her way down to the car and is surprised when he messages her back within a minute.

 _Sounds great love, I look forward to it. I have a break in my shifts today if you'd like to meet for lunch later?_ The text makes her smile as she climbs into the driver's seat, messaging back her lunch hours and the address of her favorite café before starting the car and heading to Henry's school. She thinks about his wish of going sailing and she remembers Killian saying that was a hobby of his and he even owned a boat at one point. She doesn't believe in cosmic signs of the universe or anything but it does comfort her to know that Killian and Henry already seem to share interests.

* * *

He sees her through the window, walking down the street towards the café with her hair blowing in the wind. He smiles and stands as she enters the café and searches for him, her shoulders dropping when she sees him in the corner.

Emma smiles and walks over, looking almost sheepish as she moves to embrace him. Killian kisses her cheek softly and closes his eyes at her sweet perfume before taking his seat again. Emma sits opposite him in the large velvet armchairs that are always coveted in coffee shops (he is glad he arrived early to secure the more private, comfortable seating).

She raises her eyebrows at the steaming mug of coffee on the table in front of her and he enjoys the feeling of achievement when she cradles the mug in her hands and takes a sip, smiling over the rim of the white china.

'You know how I take my coffee.' She says quietly, and it isn't a question but a statement. He nods anyway and shifts to the edge of his seat to be closer to her. Things have been different since their first argument, although not necessarily in a bad way. It feels more comfortable between them yet there is also a shyness to their interactions, much like when they first met. He senses that Emma is trying to hold back a little but he can't blame her, her caution is rightly justified after all.

'I wanted to ask you something about Henry.' Emma says, pulling him out of thoughts.

'Anything, lass.' He replies, picking up his own mug and taking a drink of his coffee. He sees her look away thoughtfully for a moment before looking back at him and he is almost distracted by how green her eyes look in the sunlight coming through the window.

'Well I spoke with him this morning about you coming along on Saturday and he's looking forward to it. But I was just wondering if you would be alright if he ever asked you to do something else, just the two of you?' He hears the nerves in her voice and smiles to reassure her.

'Of course, Henry seems like a wonderful lad and I'd love to spend time with him if he wanted to.' Emma blinks quickly in surprise at his response and he leans forward to take her free hand.

'Don't worry Swan, I'm great with kids.' He tries to lighten the mood and thankfully it works. She laughs lightly and squeezes his hand back before tilting her head.

'He's never had a male role model to look up to. I know that I'm a good mother and I've raised him well but I also know parental bonding is important and he just wants someone to going sailing with and talk about… whatever boys find interesting.' Emma laughs at the last part but he sees the negative thoughts in her mind when she goes quiet.

'You did the right thing, Emma. Your boy deserves more than one off trips with temporary people. It's better to not experience any bonding than to have a broken bond.' He doesn't mean it to sound so pitiful of his own life but it probably comes off that way when Emma looks at him with soft eyes and brushes her thumb across his skin.

'So if you bond with Henry, it won't be temporary, right?' Her tone is teasing but he knows there's a real question underneath.

'No love, it won't be.' He answers simply. She smiles brightly and he relaxes at their silent understanding.

* * *

'What's it like, in England I mean?' Emma asks once she finishes her sandwich. Killian swallows a spoonful of his soup and raises his eyebrows at her before making a thoughtful noise.

'It's…different. I haven't been there in almost 10 years but I still miss it sometimes. I miss the food, but I have some of my mother's traditional recipes that I try to recreate.' Emma hears the sadness in his voice despite his smile and she wants to hug him tightly.

'Did you ever think about going back, at least to visit?'

'Once or twice. When Liam and I first set up business I wasn't exactly inclined to return after everything that had happened with Milah, and then we were so busy with work I didn't have time. I have no family or friends there, but it would be nice to drive down those country roads and eat proper fish and chips again.' Emma notices how his accent strengthens when he talks about his home country and she smiles.

'Maybe one day you will. I've never even been to a different country before. Henry is easily amused when it comes to holidays so we would opt for days at the beach or a funfair to jetting off somewhere else. I mean I'm sure he would love to go on a plane and travel and visit different countries but he never once moaned about not going somewhere exotic. It made those years when I struggled just a little easier.' She doesn't mean for it to sound self-pitying but it probably comes out that way.

'The only plane I've ever been on was the one that got me here. Liam had saved up for months to get those plane tickets, and I remember being absolutely terrified. I was that annoying traveler that had the neck pillow and the numerous books and noisy sweet wrappers. I even had a panic attack when I saw we were going over the middle of the Atlantic Ocean and I couldn't see any land on the map.' Emma laughs at the image of a young and scared Killian before biting her lip to stop herself at his offended look.

'I'm sorry, I'm just imagining this younger nerdy version of you and it's cute.' She tells him and Killian raises his eyebrows.

'Nerdy, lass? I was the appropriate amount of cool I'll have you know.' Killian tries to hide his own smile but fails, grinning as he looks up at her and leans back in his chair.

'Hey, according to Henry nerdy is now a compliment. And I did say you were cute.' Killian's smile softens and she meets his eyes. He's been subdued since their argument and she wishes that he would move on from it and stop punishing himself.

Emma checks the time on her phone and sighs as she shifts in her seat. 'I should head back, I have so much paperwork to do before my stakeout shift tonight.' She stands up and Killian joins her, stepping closer to take her hand.

'Stakeout, huh? Sounds fun.' She feels her heart pick up at his low voice and his warm hand against hers.

'Believe me, it's not. But maybe with you there will be?' She forgets that they're in a public place with other people only a few feet away and she forgets that Killian is acting too cautious around her. She sways into him and she senses his surprise at her blatant flirting.

'Then I'd love to join you tonight, Swan.' She feels him relax against her and she stretches up to give him a quick kiss.

'Great. I'll pick you up from your place at 9 then.' She moves back but he holds on to her a moment longer, giving her a kiss of his own before letting her go. His arms are around her and he is warm and comfortable and she doesn't want to leave.

Her phone rings, making them break apart reluctantly and she frowns before picking it up.

'Yeah, I'll be right there.' She says before hanging up. 'Duty calls, I'm afraid, but I'll see you tonight.' Killian nods and follows her out of the café before kissing her cheek and saying goodbye. It feels normal, meeting him for lunch and making plans and kissing each other goodbye. She likes normal very much.


	14. Chapter 14

'So, we just sit and wait for a sign of this guy now?' Killian asks as Emma hands him a coffee cup. She nods and hums in agreement and he tilts his head to stretch his neck muscles.

'I understand why this isn't as fun as people think.' He laughs and Emma grins over at him in the dark from the driver's seat.

'Especially when most nights absolutely nothing happens so you waste hours staring at some house in the dark instead of sleeping.' Killian cradles the coffee, grateful for the caffeine Emma provided on her seemingly exhausting job.

'So how do you kill time?' He asks, looking at her even though she turns her head back to look out the window.

'Well usually I just think about a lot of things. I can't read or look at my phone in case I miss any movement from the target so I sort of get in this zone where I focus on wherever I'm stationed. I sometimes have the radio on so I don't go stir crazy sitting in a car for ten hours on some jobs.' Emma speaks quietly and he can see her already falling into her usual work atmosphere.

'So I'm here to alleviate some of the craziness?' He teases softly, earning him a warm smile as she turns to look at him.

'Well there is something about you I find comforting.' Emma replies, and he feels his stomach flip. It still surprises him whenever she says things like that despite the fact that they are dating and it's clear she's into him. He feels himself flush and he is grateful that it's dark out.

A comfortable silence falls over them and Killian stretches out his legs as best he can in her small yellow bug.

'This is a rather conspicuous car to be doing stakeouts in, Swan.' He notes, smiling when she scoffs and puts her coffee cup into the holder between their seats.

'Which is exactly why it's a good car to watch people from. Nobody thinks this little thing is suspicious but a Black Sedan parked outside their house would be.' She makes a good point and he shrugs, watching her as she opens the glove compartment and pulls out a bakery box.

'Want one?' She offers, and he looks over the selection of pastries with a grin.

'It amazes me that you're so fit when you eat like this.' He chuckles, selecting the doughnut with all the sprinkles before looking up at Emma. He can just make out the green in her eyes in the light from the street lamp, her eyelashes casting shadows on her cheeks as she blinks. He leans forward impulsively and kisses her, relishing her little muffled noise of surprise.

'What was that for?' She asks when he rests his forehead on hers.

'Nothing in particular, I just felt you kissing you.' He whispers and he feels her laugh against him.

'Well as much as I like your spontaneity, making out with my boyfriend is a pretty bad excuse to go back to work with if I miss anything.' Emma says humorously, and he bumps their noses together softly before sitting back in his seat.

'You mean you didn't ask me to join you so we could make out in your car like teenagers all night?' He asks seriously before taking a bite of his doughnut, licking his lips as the icing covers them already. Her hand cups his chin and she brushes off the rogue icing from the corner of his lips gently with an affectionate smile.

'Not quite Jones, sorry.' Her hand lingers on his cheek before she pulls it back to choose her own doughnut from the box. He watches her as she returns to her surveillance of the house, taking a bite from the doughnut every once in a while. Her movements are delicate, especially when she curls her hair behind her ears or covers her mouth when she yawns.

Killian feels like he's seeing a different side of her tonight. Despite the fact that she's actually working and her car isn't the most comfortable of places she seems more relaxed and unguarded than ever before.

'So was Milah the only person you've loved?' Emma asks quietly, and he feels the shift in the atmosphere. He supposes it was to be expected, her asking these sorts of questions when they're locked in a car alone together for a long time, and given his reaction to what happened he can't blame her for being curious.

'Yes. She was my first serious relationship and after her I tended to keep them more casual. Despite what happened it took me a long time to get over her and I didn't feel like offering up my heart just for someone else to crush it.' He takes a drink of coffee and steals a look over at Emma, relieved to see she is still looking out the window. She is silent for a long time and he wonders if she didn't like what he said but he notices her inhale deeply before she speaks.

'I thought I loved Walsh, but I think I had just missed being with someone that it wasn't really about _him._ It had been 9 years since Neal and when you're a single mom with no friends or family you end up feeling so alone that the guy hitting on you in a furniture store seems like viable option. I settled for him, I know that now.' Emma rests her forehead on the window and he sees her close her eyes for a moment. She seems tired and in more ways than one.

'Did you ever just want to give up?' He asks, and it sounds direr then he meant so he clears his throat and turns slightly towards her when she lifts her head to look at him.

'Sometimes I've wanted to just quit my job and live on my sofa eating Kraft mac and cheese.' He laughs, and he sees her smile weakly in the dimness of the car.

'Sure, I've thought like that too. I grew up a lot quicker than most kids and I wish I could go back to a time when I didn't have all these adult responsibilities sometimes. But then I look at Henry, and I know that quitting isn't an option because he needs me. I've never been needed before.' Killian hears the break in her voice and he takes her hand. She sniffs, trying desperately to hold in the tears he knows are brimming her eyes.

'I need you.' He tells her, almost in a whisper. Emma looks up to meet his eyes then and he wishes they weren't so far away from each other even in the small car.

'You do?' She asks, and his heart breaks at the disbelief in her eyes.

'Emma, before I met you I was a man in mourning, of my brother, of my old life, of my old _self._ You've changed me, a change I needed but would never have found on my own. You're a very important part of my life, I hope you know that.' Emma is silent but a stray tear rolls down her cheek and he wipes it away with his thumb.

'Come on lass, it's not that bad. It's not like I told you I was a serial killer.' She hiccups and laughs simultaneously and he kisses her forehead softly. She wipes her eyes and exhales before looking back out the window. He's being a terrible distraction from her job but he doesn't feel too guilty about it in all honesty.

'You're a very important part of my life too.' Emma says a moment later. She isn't looking at him but he smiles brightly anyway, settling down in his seat with a warmth in his chest.

* * *

'Okay, um, favorite colour?' Killian asks after finishing off the bag of Goldfish crackers (which she side-eyes but says nothing on the matter).

'Favorite colour, really? That's hardly an original question to ask, Killian.' She teases as she watches him open a new bottle of water (her eyes definitely do not lower to his biceps when they flex slightly, the muscles just visible past his t-shirt sleeve).

'Maybe not but it's an important one. What if I need to buy you a gift but don't know which colour you prefer? That's far more useful information than knowing the name of your first pet or something.' Emma was prepared to respond with something snarky but she is distracted by the way his licks his lips after taking a drink.

Killian notices her silence and turns to face her, making her bite her lip and look away before grinning.

'Okay then, blue.' It's not exactly the truth nor a lie. She's never really had a colour preference (she just knows she despises orange) but blue is the first thing that comes to mind and she doesn't disagree with herself. Killian nods and she takes a drink of her own water before taking her turn.

'If you were stranded on an island, what three things would you want with you?' Her question wasn't exactly original either but Killian was looking thoughtful as he contemplated his answer anyway.

'Well I would want a spile, so I could get fresh water from the sap of the trees.' Killian answers, and Emma rolls her eyes.

'Of course you give a practical answer. Most people just say a cell phone with unlimited battery or an iPod or something.' She says as she looks out the window at the house. She's almost certain there will be no movement tonight but she keeping checking every so often to alleviate her guilt of getting distracted (she was the one who invited Killian to join her after all).

'Okay well my second item would be a blanket, not for practically reasons but just because I can't sleep without at least one blanket.' Emma turns back to look at Killian at that and smiles.

'That's so adorable.' She teases, leaning forward to kiss his cheek when she notices his ears are turning red.

'What's your last thing then?'

'My last one is the easiest choice; you.' He's grinning wickedly and she knows he's very pleased with himself for surprising her in such a way. She rolls her eyes again but resting her head against his shoulder, closing her eyes when he tilts his head against hers.

'What's your favorite memory?' Killian asks quietly, and his voice is so soothing that she finds herself relaxing far too much for someone on duty.

'It was 6 years ago when I took Henry on an impulse getaway. I didn't have a lot of money at the time but gas prices were pretty low so I thought I would treat him to a trip to New York. We drove down from Boston, which really wasn't too long but Henry needed the toilet every half hour so we kept stopping.' Emma chuckles as she remembers being frustrated with her son at the time.

'We went to all the typical places, but my favorite was Central Park. We found this quiet little spot in the trees and we ate chocolate covered waffles from one of the street vendors. I sat on the bench with Henry and just took it all in. New York is busy and noisy and fast paced, but in that moment my life was the exact opposite. It was so peaceful and it was one of the few times in my life that I was simply content. I don't know if it's a favorite memory but I remember it well, which means I didn't try to push it to the back of my mind like everything else.' Emma feels herself drifting off to sleep and she sits up and blinks repeatedly, trying to keep herself awake.

'Lass you should sleep. I'll stay awake and keep an eye on the house.' Killian tells her, but she shakes her head.

'I can't ask you to do that. This is _my_ job after all.'

'Well you're not asking because I'm offering. Besides, how vigilant are you going to be when you can barely keep your eyes open?' Killian is already reaching behind to get the blanket from the backseat and starts tucking it around her. She sighs and gives in to both him and her tiredness. He kisses her temple and she smiles before curling up against the door, resting her head just below the window and finally closing her eyes.

Emma has slept in this car plenty of times in her life before but it never felt like this. There was never someone else to kiss her goodnight and watch over her. She feels Killian's hand on her back, moving in circular motions that relaxes her and sends her quickly off to sleep, the warmth of his touch comforting her.


	15. Chapter 15

'So what are we doing after this, Mom?' Henry asks as he carefully steps across the stone boulders lining the entrance to the miniature golf course. Emma raises her eyebrows at him before looking back at the parking lot for a sign of Killian.

'Hold up kid, we haven't even started _this_ yet. Do you have something specific in mind?' Henry grabs her shoulder to steady himself and she laughs as he grips on to her with his tongue sticking out in concentration.

'Well I wondered if maybe we could stop by the arcade afterwards.' Henry regains his balance and jumps onto the furthest boulder before turning back around towards her.

'Sure kid, we can also go to that candy store near the arcade too if you want.' Emma tells him with a smile, watching as he tries to hide his grin and act casual.

'Cool, thanks.' He replies, looking up to smile at her before nodding his head to gesture behind her. 'There's Killian.'

Emma looks up and sees Killian walking towards them, a bright smile already on his face. Her stomach flips and her heart picks up and she feels ridiculously giddy at the sight of him. His facial hair seems more defined than usual and she finds she really likes his scruff.

'Hi, lass.' He says quietly with a smile when he reaches them, putting his arm around her waist and kissing her cheek. It's chaste and far more restrained than they both would like but she is glad that he is respectful of her son's presence.

'Hi there, lad.' He says louder to Henry, holding out his hand for her son who jumps down from the boulder and shakes it with a smile.

'Hey Killian. Are you competitive? Because I'm really good at miniature golf and it will be very embarrassing for you to lose to a 13 year old.' Henry says with a mischievous grin and Emma rolls her eyes and Killian laughs loudly.

' _Almost_ 13.' Emma adds but her son pays her no mind.

'Well I have to admit I do have a bit of a competitive streak but I've never played miniature golf before so you definitely have that over me.' Killian replies, and Henry laughs before heading over the false bridge entrance of the park.

'He seems excited.' Killian tells her as they follow slowly behind.

'He is. Since moving here we haven't really gotten time to do fun things so he's looking forward to a day out. I'm really glad you're here with us.' Emma says, closing her eyes briefly when Killian presses a kiss to her temple, his stubble lightly scratching her skin.

Henry is already waiting in the line when they join him and Killian subtly gets out his wallet before Emma frowns at him.

'Nuh uh, you're not paying, this is my treat.' She says sternly and Killian raises his eyebrow challengingly before relenting with a sigh. She smiles smugly just as Henry reaches the front of the line to the welcome booth.

'2 adults and a child please.' He says confidently, and Emma smiles at Killian's soft laughter in her ear as they move closer. The woman in the booth passes over 3 tickets and Emma pays the $25 while Henry runs to the end to collect their golf clubs and balls.

'Was he always this…?'

'Precocious? Yes, he's mature for his age but he has this innocent patience and interest with other people that I often wonder how he is my child. I tend not to have time for most people.' Emma laughs softly. She watches Henry as he swings around the golf clubs and searches for them, nodding impatiently towards the start of the course.

'Isn't that a good thing? Your childhood meant you were mature for your age but in an entirely different way. Henry's innocence means you have protected him in a way you weren't.' Killian's serious words surprise her and she is speechless for a moment.

'Yeah, maybe you're right.' She finally says with a shaky smile that Killian returns. He only knows the surface of her past yet he seems to understand her perfectly. They catch up to Henry and take their golf clubs from him before he prepares himself for his first go at the first course.

Emma feels Killian's hand rest on her back and she shifts her own arm around his waist, pulling him tightly against her. It's not something she would normally do (or _see_ herself doing due to a lack of experience with these situations) but she needs to be closer to him. It's very nearly overwhelming, to stand happily with someone else will they watch over her son enjoying himself on their day out, almost like a family.

* * *

Killian laughs as Henry waves the score cards in the air happily. The boy had won of course, but both Killian and Emma and put up a good fight for him (truthfully he was pretty good at golf but winning make Henry happier than it did him).

'Can I have some ice cream, you know as a prize for winning and all that?' Henry asks with a grin and Killian hands him 5 dollars before Emma can even answer. He throws a thank you over his shoulder as he runs to the ice cream counter and Emma brushes her hand down Killian's arm until she laces their fingers together.

'He likes you.' She says with a squeeze of his hand. 'He has this habit of giving people the cold shoulder if he doesn't like them or they've annoyed him in some way but he's been great with you.'

'I'm glad I meet the lad's high standards then.' He chuckles as they watch Henry eagerly receiving his ice cream cone. He thinks about a moment earlier when the woman behind them told him how good his son was at the game. Neither Emma nor Henry had heard and he flustered before simply saying thank you instead of explaining the real situation.

'A woman thought he was my son earlier.' He blurts out, and he feels Emma tense beside him.

'I'm sorry, that must have been awkward for you. People just assume when they see you with a child that it's yours but-'

'I liked it.' Killian cuts in, and Emma's head turns quickly to look at him. Her eyebrows are raised in surprise but her eyes are searching his desperately.

'I haven't had a family in a very long time. It's been nice feeling like I have one again.' He turns around to face her and curls a stray lock of her hair behind her ear gently. Emma looks as if she might cry and the desire to tell her how he feels overwhelms him but Henry is back just as quickly as he left and their private moment is over.

'Ew, guys I was gone for like a minute, contain yourselves.' Henry sighs before he licks away at his swirl of ice cream. Emma laughs but doesn't let go of Killian's hand as they return their golf clubs and head to the parking lot.

'Henry wants to go to the arcade and candy store down near the pier, are you coming?' Emma says quietly and he notices the way she's barely moved an inch from his side for the past 10 minutes.

'Of course, I'll follow behind in my car.' He nods and she reluctantly lets go of his hand and kisses him briefly on the cheek. She's itching to say something, he can tell, but they both know it's not really the time or place for a serious conversation about their relationship.

He parks up behind Emma's yellow bug once they get there, Henry already climbing out of the passenger seat and making his way into the candy store when he pulls up.

'Candy, pizza and games are the only three things that make him move that fast.' Emma says as she gets out of the car at a much slower pace than her son. She hooks her thumbs into the back pockets of her jeans as she hesitates outside the store and he hurries in front of her to open the door but she stops him with a light touch on his arm.

'I'm glad you feel like we're your family, it means a lot.' She smiles before entering the store and Killian follows with his own goofy grin.

Emma goes to find Henry and he looks around the candy store with interest. He had never been in before (it seemed a little strange for a grown man without children to go into a candy store) but he smiles at how it reminds him of his childhood. The store is quaint and old fashioned, like the little shops that lined the High Street in his hometown in England. There are jars with boiled sweets and toffee pieces, marshmallows and liquorice sticks.

He sees Emma and Henry in the back of the store where all the novelty candy is and Henry's arms are full of bubble gum and Twizzlers.

'One time Steve put that massive jawbreaker in his mouth during math class and Miss Wilson gave him detention.' Henry laughs as he points to the large white ball in the jar on the shelf. Killian lifts a basket from the rack and holds it out for Henry to unload his collection.

'We call them gobstoppers in England.' He tells him and Henry smirks.

'You use the funniest words.' He laughs as he tosses a bar of chocolate into the basket.

'Okay kid, I'm no expert but this all looks at least halfway towards getting diabetes. Let's go pay and then we can go to the arcade.' Emma says lightly, placing her hand on her son's shoulder to guide him back to the front of the store. Killian watches them with a smile and begins to follow them but something catches his eye. There's a jar of raspberry bon bons on the shelf to his left and the sight of the blue candy takes him back many years.

'Hey, are you okay?' Emma asks from behind him, and he blinks to break the spell of his focus.

'Aye lass, it's just been a while since I've seen these. My mum used to carry these around in a little tin in her purse. I would always try to sneak one as a lad but my blue tongue gave me away.' He laughs but it's not really funny, not when his throat closes up at the thought of his mother. It may have been almost 20 years since she had passed (had it really been that long already?) but the smell of her favorite perfume or the sight of her favorite candy brought back memories that made the dull sensation of loss heighten every once in a while.

Emma doesn't say anything, she simply takes his hand and pulls him towards her as she heads to the counter to pay for Henry's ridiculous amounts of candy. They leave with a brimming paper bag that Emma leaves in the backseat of her car before they walk towards the arcade.

'Hey mom, so a few of my friends are hanging out at the arcade, can I go ahead and meet them?' Henry asks, and Killian can tell by the arch of the boy's eyebrow there is mischief involved somehow.

'I knew there was a specific reason you wanted to come here.' Emma rolls her eyes playfully before smiling. 'Of course Henry, go have fun. We'll stay out here so we don't embarrass you, just text when you're ready to go and we'll come meet you.' Henry nods and moves to leave but Emma stops him.

'Don't spend it all on that one zombie game, okay?' Emma smiles as she hands him 20 dollars. Henry grins and says thank you before crossing the street to join the small group of kids hanging around outside the arcade. They all welcome him warmly and Killian almost feels pride as he watches Henry with his friends.

'Your son seems rather popular. It's good to see him with a good group of friends, he looks happy.' Killian notes, and Emma threads her arm through his.

'Yeah, he is.' Emma sighs contently, and he smiles and follows her as she gently guides them along the sidewalk towards the shallow beach.

'Do ever feel like this place was meant to be your home?' He asks, seeing her turn her head towards him in his peripheral vision.

'What do you mean?' Emma replies, and he feels nervous all of a sudden.

'Well from what you've shared of your past you seemed restless in most places, and maybe it was because you weren't really home yet.' He looks down at the ground as he speaks, watching as the pavement turns into sand as they reach the beach. He notices the sound of the water and the seagulls now there is silence between them and he finds comfort in the noises of the sea.

'Maybe you're right.' She responds, and he feels a swell of disappointment. He had thought she would express herself further than simply agreeing with him, but he knows not to push her. This acceptance of home was probably a lot for her to deal with after all these years of being lost.

They're walking at a relatively quick pace for a leisurely walk along the beach and he frowns, noticing how she's directing them past the main stretch of beach towards the row of buildings along the coast.

'I want to show you something.' Emma says as she flutters her eyelashes nervously. He would follow her anywhere of course, but she's made him curious and he raises his eyebrows questioningly. She bites her lip as they pass the closed information booth and beach hut rental services until they reach an empty, plain white building set slightly further back from everything else.

Emma disentangles her arm from his and reaches in her jacket pocket to find a small key before using it in the lock on the door.

'Lass why do you have a key to a strange empty building on the beach?' He asks, following her inside the doors. The building truly is empty, their footsteps echoing in the large space.

'Because I own it.' Emma exhales, and he turns to look back at her. She's chewing on her bottom lip and he's still confused about everything.

'When I was looking for jobs for you I came across an ad for this place. It was a restaurant but the owner wanted to sell it as a multiuse building so they stripped everything back. They thought it would make it easier to sell that way but they struggled to find a buyer for a beach property when it wasn't summer. The asking price was pretty low so I went for it and now it's mine.' Emma shrugs before looking up at the ceiling and the light fixtures.

Killian feels a sinking feeling when he starts to piece everything together but Emma is already walking away from him before he can speak.

'Come on, I want to show you the kitchen.' She calls and he clenches his jaw as he follows her round the corner, revealing an even larger space in the back. Emma pushes open the appropriately labeled kitchen door and smiles. His eyes widen at the sight of the working area. It's clean and open with large freezers and fridges and marble worktops and silver sinks. It was clearly a very professional work space and he thinks of all the cooking he could to in a kitchen this size.

'Emma, why did you purchase such a property?' Killian says quietly as he leans against the closest counter and looks right at her. Her smile fades and her expression turns serious.

'I got it for you.' He knew that would be her answer yet her words still shock him. 'You said that maybe one day you'd like the have your own restaurant and to do that you need to have the space for it. I know you're not exactly in a position to start now but this is one thing off the list anyway.' She's clinging on to the counter opposite him, her knuckles turning white as she grips on to the edge tightly.

He closes the gap between them, gently pulling her hands away from the counter and into his own. He rubs her knuckles and fingers until they ease and presses his forehead against hers.

'Why did you do this for me, Emma?' He whispers, his breath hitching when she moves her hands to the nape of his neck.

'Because I love you.'

Killian feels his mouth dry at her words. None of this feels real, least of all her confession that makes his heart beat so fast he feels nauseous and light-headed. He kisses her because it's the only thing that makes sense right now. He lifts her up onto the counter, groaning when her legs tighten around him and she nips at his bottom lip. Her fingers are traveling through his hair and he's losing himself in her.

Killian tears himself away from her and misses the heat of her mouth already. Her eyes are wide and darting between his and she breathes heavily and licks her lips after their passionate kiss.

'I love you too.' He whispers, trailing his thumb along the scattering of freckles on her cheek. She smiles and it's warm and bright and _loving._ There's desire in her eyes, he can see that, but there is an underlying softness to her gaze that simply melts away any unease he previously had.

'I love you so much.' Killian sighs, nuzzling her neck and kissing her collarbone as she presses her legs tighter around him. Emma laughs and he lifts his head to look at her. She's fluttering her eyelashes and smiling and he could stare at her like this all day.

'I definitely think I'm home now.' Emma says quietly, and he tucks this moment away in his mind as his own favorite memory.


	16. Chapter 16

'What do you think about pizza and a movie night, kid?' Emma asks when Henry walks over to where her and Killian are sitting. Henry is holding a SpongeBob soft toy, a water gun and a collection of keychains and looking rather pleased with himself.

'Sounds good, will you be joining us, Killian?' He asks, and Emma's heart picks up. She can't believe she told him she loves him but she's glad she did. He is pressed against her on the bench, their thighs touching and his arm around her shoulders. He must have uttered the words a dozen time since they exchanged them only an hour ago and she feels like she's in this alternate universe where everything in her life is right and perfect and she doesn't want it to end.

'Of course, lad. Did you win all of that?' Killian replies, gesturing towards all of the toys in Henry's arms.

'Yeah, I totally had a winning streak going on. I also won another soft toy but I gave to someone else.' Henry explains, and Emma notices the slight look of embarrassment on her son's face and smirks when she notices the girl across the street with a fluffy brown bear in her arms. She doesn't say anything and decides not to tease him on his obvious crush.

They momentarily part ways with Killian while they go to their separate cars and head to her apartment. Henry has been silent so far in the car but he keeps turning to look at her and she knows there's something he wants to say.

'Spit it out kid.' She sighs, turning to look at him briefly with a raised eyebrow.

'Do you love him? Killian, I mean.' He asks, and he sounds like such an innocent child that she is reminded he is only 12.

Emma doesn't quite know how to answer his question. She knows that her relationship with Killian is different to what she had with both Neal and Walsh but they haven't even been dating all that long and her feelings don't even make complete sense to her let alone explaining them to her son.

'I care a lot about him and he's important to me.' She replies carefully, and Henry sits back in his seat, hopefully satisfied with her answer.

'He loves you, I can tell.' Henry says proudly and she narrows her eyes.

'How?'

'The way he looks at you. It's like he's permanently amazed by you or something. I like him, he's a good guy.' Emma exhales at that. It's good to hear her son's approval of Killian (and maybe she also enjoys hearing about the way he looks at her too).

'I'm glad to hear you like him. I feel like he's going to become a big part of our lives and it's important that you're okay with that.' Emma says, relaxing her grip on the steering wheel now that she knows the conversation isn't heading anywhere bad.

'Yeah, he's cool and he loves you and he's actually interested in me too. He can be a part of our family, I'd like that.' Henry leans forward to turn the radio on and Emma blinks repeatedly to clear away the tears that have formed in her eyes.

* * *

'And then you gotta press the button on the right to attack.' Henry says patiently as Killian fiddles with the unfamiliar game controller.

'I just press it and that guy dies?' He asks, pressing the button and watching as the animated character on screen blows up.

'Yeah, but to get a high score you have to actually aim at the people. Mom just presses the button and hopes the grenade lands where it's supposed to, but there's actual skill involved.' Henry continues, and Killian smiles at how serious the lad is over his game.

'Okay, so am I doing it right now?' Killian says once he starts firing grenades at the mass of people walking towards his character in the game.

'You're doing better.' Henry says vaguely and Killian laughs at his polite attempt to encourage him.

'You're pretty good at these games aren't you, lad? And you won all of those prizes at the arcade too.' Killian tells him, watching Henry play with ease on the other side of the split screen.

Henry shrugs as he shifts to get more comfortable on the sofa. 'Sure, I guess. I didn't really have many friends back in Boston and I played video games by myself so I've had a lot of practice. And earlier at the arcade I was actually just trying to impress someone.' Henry adds, and Killian tries to act calm. Henry is confiding in him about something rather personal and Killian feels a swell of warmth to know the boy trusts him.

'And was said person impressed?' He asks, repeatedly pressing the button on the controller in the same way Emma apparently does.

'I think so, she was happy when I gave her the soft toy I won. She told me that she's glad I moved here, do you think that means she likes me?' Henry replies. He presses a button on his controller that pauses the game and turns to face Killian on the sofa.

'She very well might lad, but you'll only know if you ask.' Killian tells him, and Henry frowns.

'Do you mean ask her if she wants to be my girlfriend or something? But what if she doesn't?' Henry sounds so young and confused and Killian remembers what it feels like be his age.

'Putting yourself out there is always scary but what I do when I'm in a situation like this is consider the outcome of my options. When I asked your mother on our first date I was terrified, but I thought about how happy I would be if she said yes and I went for it. Think about the things that have made you happier in your life, like moving here for example. Moving here was a big chance but you and your mum took it and it paid off.'

Henry nods in understanding and Killian smiles. 'Yeah, you're right, thanks Killian.' He replies before smiling too.

Emma comes in and joins them on the sofa then, a questioning look on her face at the paused game and serious conversation. They share a look and Emma nods slightly before smiling.

'So I've ordered the pizza and it should be here in a few minutes. Have you decided on a movie yet, Henry?' She asks, and Killian feels her arm wrapping around his as she gets comfortable beside him.

'Well Killian has never seen any of the Marvel movies so I thought I would school him in superheroes, starting with Iron Man.' Henry grins, and Killian shrugs at his cluelessness. Henry runs to his room where he keeps his collection of DVDs and Emma rests her chin on Killian's shoulder with a sigh.

'I've never seen him like this before.' She says quietly, and he puts the controller down on the coffee table and takes her hand in his.

'Like what, love?' He replies, and she presses herself a little closer to him.

'Comfortable around someone else. He's a confident kid but he's guarded, something he gets from me. There's just something about you that makes us open up I guess.' She laughs in his ear and its light and happy and god he loves that sound. She kisses his cheek and he leans into her, his skin tingling from the light touch of her lips.

The doorbell rings and Emma jumps up to answer it while Henry returns to the living room and puts the DVD in. Killian moves to help Emma with the pizza boxes and he feels a strange sense of familiarity settle in despite never doing this before. The three of them settle back down on the sofa with their slices of pizza and Henry turns off the lights 'for effect', making Emma snort and warn him about being careful with his soda glass in the dark.

Killian finds the movie entertaining but his true enjoyment comes from how happy he feels sitting with Emma and Henry. He doesn't feel like a stranger in their home like he was secretly worried about, in fact it feels natural to be here with them. Emma rests her head on his chest and he puts his arm around her, his fingers idly playing with the ends of her curls as he watches the movie. Henry gets up to put the next one on a little while later but Killian can see the tiredness in the boy's eyes.

It's around 10pm when Henry falls asleep and Killian feels him rest his head on his shoulder. He doesn't move for fear of waking the boy up until Emma notices and smiles at the sight of them. She gets up and puts a lamp on before turning the TV off and sighing.

'We should wake him up, how long has he been asleep?' She asks quietly.

'About half an hour, I didn't want to disturb him.' Killian whispers back. Emma places her hand on her son's shoulder to wake him gently.

'Hey Henry.' She says softly when he lifts his head from Killian's shoulder.

'What time is it?' He asks sleepily as he rubs his eyes.

'It's pretty late.'

Henry sits up and yawns before shuffling off to bed, mumbling good night to both of them before closing his bedroom door behind him. Emma looks over at him and he realizes they haven't discussed their own sleeping arrangements.

'You could stay here, it's late and I don't want you to leave.' Emma says bluntly and her honesty pleasantly surprises him. He chuckles and stands up, stretching his arms before swaying towards her.

'Sounds good; I don't want to leave either.' Emma hums happily in response before taking his hand and leading him to her room. It's dark when she opens the door but she puts on the bedside lamps and he can see the simple décor more clearly.

Emma opens the top draw beside him and pulls out her pyjamas before looking up at him apologetically. 'I don't have any guys clothes lying around, sorry.' He smiles and she nods towards the joining bathroom.

'I'm going to change, make yourself comfortable. Oh, and I sleep on the right.' Emma grins before shutting the bathroom door. Killian exhales before taking off his shoes, jeans and sweater. He climbs into bed (on the left side) and wriggles until he's comfortable. The bedsheets smell like Emma and he smiles, pulling the comforter up to his shoulders to get warm. Emma emerges from the bathroom in pale pink plaid pyjamas that look soft and comfortable and he just wants to cuddle up to her already.

She's smiling at him but the teasing, playfulness has gone now. She climbs in beside him and looks up at him sheepishly until he brushes his legs against hers.

'I never thanked you earlier, for getting that place for me. You don't know how much that means to me, Emma.' He whispers, and she shifts closer to him until her hands are resting on his bare chest.

'I want to see you get your dream Killian, you deserve it.' Emma is even more beautiful like this, with no make-up and a glossy look to her eyes that tells him she's tired.

'Thank you, my love.' He kisses her forehead but the soft touch is too tempting to end there and he moves to kiss her lips, his hand resting at her waist and his hips involuntarily shifting towards her. The kiss is slow and lazy yet there's something about the way her tongue runs along his that makes him hot all over.

'I love you.' Emma sighs against his lips and he treasures the sound of her raspy voice and the feel of her hands on his back, pressing him against her until there's no gap between them.

'I love you too.' He murmurs as he kisses her jaw. The desire is brimming inside of him, more so now that he is lying beside her with her hot skin touching his and her lips brushing against him but he holds back for tonight. He is content enough to simply hold her in his arms and feel her heart beat against him. He is loved and in love and he is content.


	17. Chapter 17

Killian pours the mixture into the waffle iron and closes the lid just as the doorbell rings.

'I'll get it.' He hears Henry call from the next room. Killian moves the dishes into the sink and wipes down the counter but Emma wraps her arms around him from behind to stop him.

'So this is what's like to have a boyfriend who enjoys cooking.' She says in his ear and he grins.

'Well waffles are pretty simple love.' He chuckles, brushing his fingers along the soft sleeves of her pajamas.

'You haven't seen me try to make them.' Emma jokes before kissing his neck and breaking away from him to put the kettle on.

'Hey Emma, is it okay if I-oh, hey Killian.' A familiar voice greets him and he turns around to see Mary Margret in a pink robe and slippers holding an empty mug with 'Best Teacher Ever' written on it.

'Good morning Mary Margret.' He says with a smile and she blushes faintly as she smiles back.

'Not really, I have 25 English papers to grade for tomorrow and I need coffee to function but I forgot to get milk at the store yesterday, which is why I'm here so I can borrow some from my lovely neighbor.' Mary Margret grins innocently at Emma, who smiles back and nods at the kettle.

'You're just in time.' Emma takes the mug from Mary Margret and puts in the instant coffee grounds and two spoonful's of sugar and Mary Margret sighs gratefully.

Killian gets the waffles out from the iron and spreads Nutella over them with a couple of strawberries on top.

'Henry already likes you, you don't need extra brownie points, Killian.' Emma scoffs, and he raises his eyebrows teasingly before taking the waffles through to Henry.

'So…he stayed the night?' Mary Margret asks quietly and Emma can't stop the smile that curves her lips up.

'Yeah we spent the day out with Henry, came back here to watch movies and it got late so he stayed.' She shrugs nonchalantly despite her grin and Mary Margret grips on to her arm excitedly.

'Emma that's great! So you guys have made up right?' She asks cautiously and Emma nods before pouring the hot water into the mugs.

'Yeah we talked and it's behind us. Killian was just going through some stuff and reacted badly, but we're all good now.' Emma says as she hands Mary Margret her coffee mug.

'You look more than good Emma, you guys seem really cozy.' Mary Margret comments, and Emma looks out the kitchen door to see Killian and Henry laughing together in the living room.

'I told him I love him.' She says quietly, cringing as she waits for the inevitable squeal from her friend.

'Oh my gosh, how did it happen, when, did he say it back?' She demands and Emma laughs and rolls her eyes.

'Yesterday, yes he did and I was showing him that place I bought, you know the one that you signed the contract as a witness for?' They had gone a few days ago to sign the contract but Emma hadn't explained to Mary Margret that it was for Killian (it didn't feel right, telling someone before him).

''Yeah you never did explain to me why you bought that place, does it have something to do with Killian?'

'Well he'd mentioned that he'd like own a restaurant one day and I thought it was the perfect place for him.' Emma tries to act casual about it but she can tell by the way Mary Margret is gawking at her that she is going to question her profusely on the matter.

'Wow Emma, that's a huge deal. I don't mean to pry but you've only been dating Killian for a little over a month and you don't exactly seem like someone who would, you know, commit to that level already. I'm not judging, I'm just surprised.' Mary Margret leans against the counter as she takes a drink of her coffee and Emma grinds her teeth together.

Killian comes back in and Mary Margret must sense Emma's unease as she clears her throat and holds up the mug.

'Well thanks for the coffee, but I should really go make a start on those papers. Oh and David's veterinary clinic is hosting an event next weekend to raise money for charity if you guys would like to come?' Mary Margret smiles, and Emma nods just as Killian answers 'sure'.

She says goodbye and shuffles away in her slippers back across the hall. Emma busies herself with running the water to wash the dishes but Killian bumps her shoulder with his own and she swallows thickly.

'Mary Margret left quickly, is everything okay?' Killian asks and Emma finds herself blinking away tears.

'Yeah, everything's fine.' She shrugs. Killian leans forward to turn off the running water and tilts her chin towards him gently.

'I know you, lass. Something is bothering you.' He says quietly, and she looks up to meet his eyes before recoiling from his touch. She sees his hurt expression but she's simply closing the kitchen door quietly before turning back to him.

'Mary Margret came with me when I signed the contract for the place on the beach. She didn't know why I was really buying it until now. I guess I wasn't completely honest with you about it either.' Emma looks down at her bare feet, curling her toes on the cold surface of the floor.

'I don't follow, love.' Killian replies and she exhales before looking up at him.

'I lied, when I told you about Neal and getting pregnant with Henry. I knew I was pregnant before I went to jail and so did he. I had stolen a few pregnancy tests from a drug store and used them in a gas station restroom, but I kept it a secret from Neal. I didn't realize I had dropped a box in the car until I got to the restroom and had two instead of three. It wasn't there when I got back and Neal said nothing so I thought maybe I dropped it somewhere else, but then he went to the restroom after me and I knew he had seen the positive tests. He said nothing but I could sense a change in him. He left me because he knew I was pregnant, and he didn't want to have to deal with a child.' Emma holds back her tears because she had promised herself she wouldn't cry over him anymore, but the lump in her throat is hard to ignore.

'I'm sorry you had to deal with someone like him, Emma. He doesn't deserve you and Henry anyway. I'm still confused though, what does that have to do with us?' Killian says quietly and Emma chews on her lip before answering.

'For all his talk about settling down, clearly Neal didn't want to commit to me, least of all with a child so he left. I thought maybe if I could offer _you_ something you wanted…you wouldn't leave me.' Emma's stomach churns the second the words are out of her mouth. She had barely admitted to herself that this was something she worried about but telling Killian was simply terrifying.

Her confession is met with silence and she groans and runs her hands through her hair anxiously. 'It's stupid, I shouldn't have said anything because now-'

She is cut off by Killian's hands cupping her face almost roughly and his touch makes her finally look him in the eye. He looks angry and she feels her bottom lip tremble despite her best efforts to keep it together.

'Emma, don't _ever_ think that you are not enough. I don't care about restaurants or jobs or anything else because _you_ are more than enough for me. I am here for you, and for Henry, and I don't want or expect anything else. I love you.' Killian manages to speak both firmly and softly to her but Emma can't stop the flood of emotion she feels at his words. She practically throws her arms around him, curling her head into his neck and finally letting the tears flow. His hands are rubbing against her back soothingly and she inhales the scent of lavender soap on the exposed skin of his neck.

'I've never been enough.' She mumbles, feeling his arms tighten around her as he sighs.

'Then I'll spend the rest of my life trying to show you that you are.' He whispers, and it's a promise she knows he will keep.

They stand in their embrace for a long time as Emma calms down. Killian sways them slightly and she feels lethargic, like she could fall asleep right then and there.

'I should get changed out of my pajamas and actually do something productive today.' Emma sighs as she reluctantly eases out of the hug. Killian's thumb rests on her chin and he smiles slowly as he looks at her.

'But I had planned for us to curl up on the sofa and do absolutely nothing today. I think I like my idea better.' He replies innocently and she relents quickly.

'Fine, but you're a bad influence on me Jones. I have work that needs to get done.' Emma tells him with an arched brow that he chuckles at.

'Aye, and I have a girlfriend that needs to relax every once in a while.' He's being serious despite his light tone and she tilts her head and gives him a look of appreciation before they move to join Henry in the living room. He's watching some show that usually irritates Emma but today she isn't really bothered by the too-loud fake laughter and bad jokes.

Killian tucks her in to his side as they sit on the sofa together, his arms around her and holding her tightly against him. She feels his chest vibrate when he laughs at the show (even if the jokes are bad she likes hearing his laughter) and she likes it even more when he caresses her arm or kisses her forehead every so often.

Henry doesn't comment on their blatant affection in front of him and Emma wonders if it's because he senses something happened. He's been intuitive from a young age and usually knows when she's emotional (no matter how hard she's tried to hide it from him over the years) and she is grateful for her son's maturity right now.

Henry soon retreats to his bedroom to do homework (although she suspects that's his polite way of excusing himself) and Emma stretches out a little further across the sofa. Killian silently pulls the blanket over them and she hums appreciatively at the extra warmth. She knows he will have to leave soon; he hasn't changed his clothes or showered and they both have work in the morning but she clings to him anyway, not quite ready to say goodbye just yet.

'It's Liam's birthday next week, or would be.' Killian murmurs into her hair and she finds his hand under the blanket to squeeze reassuringly.

'I'll be here for you.' Emma tells him, lifting her head to see the tight line of his lips and the furrow of his brows. He closes his eyes and nods and she kisses along his jaw until his expression softens a little.

'He would have loved you, you know. He never approved of anyone I dated but you would have been different. If he met you he would have told me to never let you go.' She hears the sadness in his voice, the shaky unevenness as he talks about his brother.

'He sounds like a smart man.' She jokes lightly, relieved when he smiles in response. She doesn't know what it's like to lose someone to death because she's never really had anyone but her heart aches for Killian's loss all the same. Emma closes her eyes and rests against him, idly thinking about how perhaps they were always meant to find each other at a time when they needed each other the most.


	18. Chapter 18

Killian is just collapsing the last cardboard box when his phone vibrates in his pocket. He stacks it with the others and sighs as he looks around the empty room. He doesn't really know why he got a two bedroom apartment when he has no use for the second room but it had been a useful place to hide away everything of Liam's that he didn't want to deal with.

It had been his brother's birthday yesterday and after a tough start to the day he almost cried when Emma walked in to the store. It was only Wednesday, too early in the week for her to be doing her usual grocery shopping and the thought of her coming in to check on him made his heart swell. She came to his checkout and chatted casually about her day at work until he gave her the receipt and she looked at him carefully.

'Stop by mine after work?' She had asked quietly, her thumb brushing against his hand on the counter. The day hadn't been too bad after she visited him and when he came over a few hours later he was welcomed by her arms and her soft kisses of affection. After getting through that day Killian was motivated to finally finish sorting through his brother's belongings, a job he had only just completed now.

He checks his phone and sees a new message from Emma. _So Henry has a school trip this weekend. They're going down to New York to visit the museums and galleries for a couple of days. I could really use your help baking his birthday cake while he's away._

Killian grins at the message. Despite everything that has happened between them Emma still tries to use various excuses to see him instead of just admitting she wants to spend time with him. He knows it's probably due to her fear of being vulnerable but he does quite enjoy her creativeness with these excuses.

 _A whole weekend just to bake one cake, Swan? Is it one of those ridiculously inedible cakes off those shows you watch on the Food Network or are your baking skills_ that _bad?_

_You're hilarious. Can I meet you at the store when you finish your shift tomorrow? I need your help finding ingredients as well._

_Sure, love. Tell Henry I hope he has a good time on his trip. I can't wait to spend the weekend with you (don't tell him the last bit, that's just weird)._

Emma responds with various laughing emoji's and he grins, his cheeks warming when she ends the message with _You're such an idiot, I love you._

He takes the stack of boxes and dumps them in the recycling shoot in the hall before returning to his apartment. He turns off the light in the now empty spare room and closes the door, thinking of what he could do with the extra space. Maybe he could set it up as a bedroom for Henry so that he and Emma can stay over sometimes. He makes a mental note to bring it up to Emma when he sees her tomorrow.

* * *

'Killian, we don't need three bags of flour, that's just excessive.' Emma groans as he puts them in the cart and moves on to the sugar.

'It's better to have more than less. Besides, it's always useful to have some in your kitchen, especially if I'm going to be making you waffles in the mornings.' Killian replies with a smirk and Emma bites her lip. He's still wearing his work uniform, having only finished his shift 20 minutes ago, but she surprisingly likes the blue shirt on him (she's seen the other employees, it's definitely Killian and not the shirt).

'Okay, what else do we need?' Emma asks as she pushes the cart slowly up the aisle. Killian joins her at her side and shows her the list he wrote for her.

'Cocoa powder is next.' He says and she watches him as he scans the shelves, oblivious to her attention. He moves to pick something up but she grabs his hand and pulls him back to her. He muffles a surprised gasp before she kisses him. His hand curls in her hair and she melts into him, smiling against his lips as he pulls her hips closer to him.

'Killian?' Emma hears vaguely and she internally curses. She was sure they were alone down this aisle and now they had probably been caught by one of his colleagues. She pulls back from him to see a woman awkwardly standing a few feet away from them. She's smiling at Killian but there is a hint of judgement in her expression that Emma is skilled in noticing.

'Hi, Stacey.' Killian says and Emma can sense that he is uncomfortable.

'Sorry to interrupt, I just need to get in there.' Stacey points to where their cart is blocking the shelves and Killian pushes it out of the way quickly.

'Of course, sorry.' Killian replies, and Emma has no idea what to do so she smiles apologetically at the woman and moves too. She grabs a bag of sugar and nods before walking off. Emma looks over at Killian and his cheeks are flushed and he groans.

'Pretty sure if you were to look up awkward that encounter would be the reference. What was that about?' Emma asks curiously and Killian exhales.

'She lives across the hall from me. She asked me out a while ago but I said no. David says she's been asking about me.' His face scrunches at the last part and she's secretly satisfied to know he doesn't seem interested in this woman.

'So how come you turned her down?' She asks as he finally grabs the cocoa powder and adds it to the cart.

'I mean she seems like a nice woman but I'm not attracted to her. Besides, I had my eye on another woman at the time.' He shrugs, giving her a quick look before pushing the cart in front of them. Emma is silent as she wonders whether he was talking about her but he turns and grins before pinning a curl of hair behind her ear, his fingers brushing against her skin softly.

'Yes, it was you, Swan.' He answers her unspoken question and she smiles in response. Someone turns down the aisle with their cart and Emma clears her throat and points to the list in Killian's hand.

'We should really just stick to getting all of that before we have any more awkward encounters.' Killian laughs and nods, giving her a quick kiss on the cheek as she habitually sways into him. They finish shopping for everything on the list and Killian helps her load it into her car before she works up the courage to finally ask the question that had been in her mind the whole day.

'Do you want to come back to mine tonight? It's a little late to start baking tonight but we could do it tomorrow morning, and then go to David's fundraiser event together?' She's fiddling with her key chain as she waits for his response and looks up when he chuckles.

'Emma it's just me, you don't have to be so nervous.' He tugs the lapels of her red jacket to bring her closer and she exhales.

'Is that a yes?' Emma murmurs and he kisses her cheek with a grin.

'Of course. I'll go back to mine to change and get clean clothes for tomorrow and then I'll be right over.' She nods and they say goodbye as they briefly part ways and despite Killian's words Emma still nervously taps her fingers on the wheel as she drives home.

* * *

Candles are scattered around the apartment, the flickering flames of each tea light casting a soft, warm glow that Emma hoped looked romantic. She couldn't believe she was doing this; she actually felt a little silly as she fluffed the cushions on the sofa and straightened the rug in front of the TV. She was doubtful that he would even notice the little things (she'd never gone to this much trouble for a guy before, but she was sure the majority of men didn't pay attention to how neat everything was).

A knock at the door makes her heart jump and she nervously brushes over the curls in her hair before answering. Killian is standing in the hall with an overnight bag in his hand and a soft smile on his face. She holds the door open for him and he drops the bag down and scoops her into his arms as he steps inside.

'You get even more beautiful every time I see you.' His arms are wrapped around her waist, pressing their chests together. She laughs before he captured her lips with his own, kissing her like a desperate man.

'You saw me less than an hour ago.' Emma gasps when he slowly pulls his lips away, pressing his forehead against hers. Killian smiles before pulling away to shut the door and hang his coat on the stand. She takes his bag to her room and returns to find him looking around the apartment like it was his first time visiting.

'What?' Emma says curiously as she takes a seat on the couch.

'Nothing, I was just admiring everything you've done with the place. The candles are a nice touch.' He replies softly as he sits down beside her. 'I find the flames of a candle to be relaxing. It's not as big as the roar of a fire; it's just a small little flicker of heat but I often find it mesmerizing.'

His hand trails up and down her back in soothing movements and she notices the scent of soap on his skin as she wriggles beside him until her head rests in the crook of his neck.

'I was going for more romantic than relaxing, actually.' She jokes, and smiles when she feels his chest move with laughter.

'Ah, so they're a part of your attempt to 'woo' me, love?' He asks and she can hear the cocky grin in his voice. She sits up then, moving so that she is straddling his hips. She watches the emotions change on his face, the way his smile drops and his eyes darken with lust already.

Emma doesn't respond to his teasing, instead she grinds her hips against his as she kisses him slowly, her fingers running through his raven hair. He whimpers and she feels just a little pleased with herself as his hand starts traveling down her thigh, pressing her further into him. He pushes up his hips into her and she bites his bottom lip, her heart racing as heat courses through her body and her skin tingles against his.

'Swan...' He whispers in a voice that sounds completely wrecked and she stops to look at him. His eyes are blown wide and darting between hers. He runs his tongue across his lip and his cheeks are flushed with desire. Suddenly his arms are wrapping tightly around her waist and he lifts her up, causing her to wrap her legs around his hips and hold on to his neck with her arms.

Killian kisses the gasp away from her lips and shares a quick look with her before carrying her to the bedroom. He gently lays her on the bed and Emma's heart clenches. She'd thought about this moment for a while but now that he was here, looking at her like that she's overwhelmed. He pulls his sweater over his head before noticing her wide eyes.

'Emma, we don't-' Killian starts, but she sits up and tugs at the belt on his jeans to pull him closer.

'It's not that. I'm just…scared. I don't want anything to change between us.' She whispers and Killian lifts up her chin.

'The only thing that will change is that I will fall further in love with you, if that's even possible. I'm here to stay, love.' The desire is still in his eyes but there is honesty there that calms her down. She bites her lip and slowly undoes his belt, making a smirk spread across his lips. Her fingers trail across the band of his jeans and she notices the light scars he has on his stomach and hips. She's sure each little mark has its own story but for now she doesn't question him on it. She pops the button and he steps out of the jeans, kicking them somewhere on her floor before stepping back between her legs at the edge of the bed.

She's level with his arousal now and she palms him through his boxers, looking up when she hears him inhale.

'We should level the playing field I think, lass.' He laughs quietly before his begins unbuttoning her blouse. His skin is hot and he smells familiar and she relaxes as his warm hands tug at the hem of her vest top to pull it over her head. She tosses it over with his jeans and sweater and his fingers travel back to her stomach, dancing across her skin until he takes off her jeans. She shimmies out of them and is grateful she remembered to put on relatively nice underwear this morning.

Killian's fingers trace the band of her bra and he kisses along her neck as his hand curves around her back and unhooks it. He throws the lace material on the floor and presses her on the bed, his mouth traveling down to her breasts as he moves onto the bed and hovers over her. Emma runs her hands up his back and into his hair, gripping on as he leaves kisses across her skin.

His hand slides up her thigh and brushes over her panties, causing her to moan into his neck as he lifts his head to look at her. Emma notices how long and dark his lashes are and how they contrast with his blue eyes and a shot of desire pulses through her. His touch is so light but it makes the hair on her body stand and tingle in anticipation for more.

Suddenly Killian moves his hand away and she looks down at him questioningly. He's moved so he's sitting between her legs but he's not looking at her as his hand lightly travels up and down her leg.

'Killian.' She whispers, moving her leg to brush against his bare skin. He looks up and smiles, and it's not a smirk or a grin but a genuine smile and she bites her lip.

'I love you.' Killian whispers and she sits up so she is level with him.

'I love you too.' Emma replies, pressing a kiss to his lips that turns more intense than she had anticipated. Her hands roam across his chest and down to dip below the band of his boxers, causing him to gasp into her mouth when she takes hold of him.

'Emma, we have all the time in the world, but right now I just need-'

'I know, I do too.'

She pulls at his boxers before sliding off her own underwear, their mouths barely leaving each other's as he lays her back down and covers her body with his. She quickly places a hand on his chest to stop him and she sees the worry return in his eyes until she opens her beside drawer to find a condom.

Killian exhales and nods as she open the packet and rolls it down his arousal. He clenches his jaw at her touch and she flutters her lashes before guiding him back down on the bed. His fingers brush across her folds gently and she twitches at the contact, opening her legs further as he positions himself at her entrance.

'Please Killian.' She breathes and he obliges slowly, entering her with care as she presses her head into the pillow. They gasp together at the burst of sensations as he begins moving inside her and Emma's hands press against his back harshly.

'Love, look at me.' Killian murmurs above her, leaning down to kiss along her jaw. Her stomach clenches in an entirely different way to the desire coiling inside her and she shakes her head, scrunching her eyes as she tries to focus on the contact of their bodies instead.

'Let me in, Emma.' He whispers, his thrusts slowing as he rests his head in the crook of her neck. His breath is warm on her skin but it's gone too quickly and she knows he's lifted his head to look at her. She finally opens her eyes and he's looking down at her with his blue eyes and his soft smile and her stomach flutters.

'There she is.' Killian says lightly and she laughs. The tension eases away from her as he moves more quickly above her and she surprises him by thrusting up to meet him instead. His eyes widen before he grins and tugs on her bottom lip with his teeth. She moans as she finally allows herself to feel and grips on harder to him. He groans into her mouth and the sound spurs her on. She senses her orgasm building and she lets out a laugh at the euphoria she feels and Killian joins on, nudging her nose in a sweet gesture despite the erotic movement of the rest of their bodies together.

Killian dips his head back into the crook of her neck and roughly kisses her skin, making her feel a slight sting as his lips and teeth crash against her. She moans his name coarsely just as her orgasm hits her and she digs her nails into his back. He groans a moment later, pressing against her harder and faster until he stills and breathes heavily against her cheek. He lingers before slowly sliding out of her and disposing the condom before collapsing on the bed beside her.

Emma immediately turns to face him and tangles their legs together, placing a hand on his chest as he controls his breathing. His arm curls around her and she smiles. Her body feels strange as she begins to feel a draft on her bare skin but the heat of their passion still lingers.

'I've never made eye contact during sex before.' Emma admits quietly. Killian's head turns rather quickly on the pillow to look at her and she feels his hand that's resting on her hip tighten.

'Was it too much?' He asks worriedly and she reaches up to sooth the anxious lines on his forehead.

'No, it wasn't. I liked it, it made me feel like we were making love instead of just having sex. I've never experienced that before.' Killian's expression softens and he brushes his hand over her hip and the curve of her waist, eliciting a quick jerk from her.

'Ah, you're ticklish lass.' He grins, moving his fingers down across her stomach until she giggles and grabs his hand to stop him. Emma distracts him with a kiss and although he muffles a laugh against her lips he stops tickling her, instead moving his hand into her hair to keep her mouth over his a little while longer.

This time she is the one looking down at him when their eyes meet and a slow, lazy smile spreads across his lips as he looks at her.

'I want to make love to you for the rest of my life.' He whispers. Not that long ago those words would have scared her, the thought of being so intimate with someone and spending the rest of her life with them would have scared her, but for once in her life she isn't afraid of commitment. She sighs contently as she lays in his arms, not caring about their clothes strewn on the floor or the candles in the other room or anything else except him because he is all that matters.


	19. Chapter 19

Killian has been awake for a while by the time Emma starts stirring in his arms and he tries very hard to hold in his laugh at her sleepy frown as she wakes. Emma blinks a few times before her vision focuses and a lazy, almost shy smile spreads across her lips.

'Hi.' She says sheepishly and he chuckles.

'Good morning, lass.' He slides up the bed to lean against the headboard and she follows, pulling the comforter up with her. Neither had bothered to put on sleepwear last night and she seems to be trying to cover her bare chest, much to his amusement.

'Emma, I think it's a little late to be worried about me seeing you naked.' Killian teases and Emma's eyes widen before she rolls them.

'But that was different. Sexual nudity and just-waking-up nudity are two different things.' She replies firmly and he scoops her against him under the sheets by her waist, his fingers fitting in between her ribs as he holds on to her. His thumb brushes the bottom of her breast and he hears her intake of breath at the small but intimate touch.

'You haven't had many 'mornings after' have you?' Killian asks quietly and Emma moves her hand to rest on his chest. She just shakes her head and his heart sinks for her. His life hadn't exactly been a bundle of love either but she is so terrified of everything that it hurts him to think of how anyone could treat her in such a way.

'Well we'll just have to make up for lost time then.' He tells her, relieved when he feels the tension leave Emma's body beside him. 'Which reminds me, I thought about setting up my second bedroom as a room for Henry.' Her finger that's idly drawing patterns on his chest stops and she lifts her head to look at him, her eyebrows raised in surprise.

'What do you mean? As in Henry and I would come stay at your place sometimes?' She replies and he doesn't miss the hint of hopefulness in her voice.

'Yeah, if you ever wanted to. I don't have any purpose for that room so I thought it would be great for Henry. We could all spend more time together and that way it's not always at your place.'

'Henry gets excited even when we stay in a hotel for the night so I'm sure he'd love to have a second bedroom. Thank you.' She kisses his cheek and he smiles at the gesture. He wasn't sure how she would react given her fear of commitment but she seems happy with the idea and he's glad.

'Speaking of Henry, I'm not sure what to get him for his birthday. Usually he has a list full of games and toys that he wants but this year he hasn't even written one. Maybe he's confused because he's going to be a teenager and he thinks he shouldn't play with toys anymore, I don't know. That's why I was happy the trip to New York was on his birthday weekend because at least he gets to go somewhere with his friends, even if it is a school trip.' Emma sighs and rests her head on his shoulder.

'He talked to me about a girl he liked the other day.' Killian tells her as he brushes his fingers softly through her hair. Emma is silent and he's surprised after expecting an amused reaction from her.

'He's growing up so quickly.' She murmurs quietly a moment later and he hears the sadness in her voice. He wraps his other arm around her when he hears her sniff and she clings to him.

'No matter how old he is, he will always be your child lass. You should be proud that you're raising such a fine young lad.' Despite not having a child of his own he understands Emma's pain at her child growing up and his heart aches for her. She sniffs again and slides her leg between his under the sheets as she looks for comfort. He kisses her head and holds her until her crying subsides.

'Have you ever thought about having children?' Emma asks, her head all but buried under the comforter as she pulls it closer to her.

'Not really. I never saw myself as the fatherly type.' Killian answers simply.

'But you're a natural with Henry.' Emma replies and Killian feels his stomach flutter all of a sudden.

'That's because he's a great kid, not because of my parenting skills.' He jokes, but he knows she doesn't find it funny when she lifts her head to look at him.

'You never give yourself enough credit, and I don't just mean about this.' Her eyes are still glossy from her tears but he sees the firm look she's giving him. He looks away but she gently turns his face back to her, brushing her thumb across his cheek.

'You're good enough too, Killian.' He feels his eyes prick with tears and he clenches his jaw to stop himself but suddenly she's kissing him and his defenses weaken. She moves to straddle him but despite her bare body being flush against him the moment is not sexual.

Emma's hands are roaming his hair and her skin is hot and for some reason this kiss just feels _different._ They've kissed numerous times and yet none felt as raw as this one. His tears are flowing freely now and Emma pulls away her lips to wipe his tears and rest her forehead on his. They don't say anything more because they don't need to; it is clear how both of them feel and the kiss leaves nothing unsaid.

* * *

'Killian, the icing is meant to go on the cake and then in your mouth, not straight in there.' Emma laughs as she watches him lick a scoop of chocolate icing off his finger.

'Come on, lass, don't you just want to taste some right now?' He scoops up more icing on his finger and holds it out to her, a cheeky grin spreading across his flour covered face. She rolls her eyes but moves over to him, lapping up the icing with her tongue, closing her mouth over his finger before licking her lips to savor the taste.

You're right, it is pretty good.' Emma grins, finally meeting his gaze. His cheeks are flushed red and she knows that it isn't just because they were embroiled in a full-on flour fight a few minutes ago.

Killian steps closer to her and pushes her hair to one side, exposing her neck to his hot breath as he dipped his head towards her skin. She feels the warm, slightly rough sensation of his tongue on her skin, and then his mouth closing over. He sucks gently, a guttural sound coming from him as his arms slowly wrapped around her waist.

He lifts his lips to her ear and whispers, 'you had some icing on your neck, Swan' before tugging tenderly at her earlobe.

'You'll use any excuse.' She murmurs half-heartedly. He laughs in her ear and she grins at the way the sound makes her heart beat faster.

Killian leaves a soft kiss on her cheek before turning to search through the drawer of baking utensils to find a packet of candles.

'The finishing touches for any good birthday cake.' He says, counting out 13 single candles and placing them carefully onto the finished cake. Killian looks pleased with their work but Emma frowns, her silence making him look at her questioningly.

'For my birthday a few years ago I bought myself this sad little cupcake with one candle. Henry had gone to bed and I lit the candle and made a wish that things would get better. It was just a really hard time back then and I struggled with not having anyone to turn to. Birthdays just make me feel…'

'Alone?' Killian finishes for her and she nods slowly in agreement. He puts his arm around her waist and smiles.

'You're not alone anymore, love.' He whispers into her hair and she looks over at him gratefully.

'Come on, we should put this in the refrigerator and get going before I get a phone call from Mary Margret demanding to know why we're late.' She smiles, carefully lifting the cake as Killian opens the refrigerator door for her.

'You know, this is the first event we're going to as a couple.' Killian says as Emma shrugs on her jacket and shoes to leave.

'The first of many, I hope.' Emma replies, collecting her keys and taking his hand as they leave her apartment together with equally warm smiles.

* * *

'Emma, Killian I'm so glad you could make it!' Mary Margret beams when she greets them at the large balloon arch entrance. She's wearing a hat with 'volunteer' written on the front with a dog paw, as well as a name tag and cat brooch pinned to her shirt and Emma smiles at her sight of her friend all decked out for the event.

'Of course. It looks like everything is going great so far.' Emma replies as she looks ahead at the various carnival events around the park.

'It's been wonderful! So many families are out and it's a beautiful day.' Mary Margret says and Emma holds back a cynical eye roll at her positivity.

'Sounds lovely. I'm glad it's such a success.' Killian smiles beside her and Mary Margret's smile widens. She jokingly offers them free animal buttons and stickers before welcoming them into the park with a detailed description of the various booths and events.

They stop at the food truck and sit on one of the benches as they eat ice cream and Emma takes everything in, admitting to herself that it really is a beautiful day.

'I have some good news.' Killian suddenly pipes up after a moment of comfortable silence.

'What is it?' Emma replies and she licks her ice cream swirl.

'I saw that the restaurant we went to on our first date was looking for a head chef so I applied for it and I've been offered an interview.' He's trying to act calm but she can hear the happiness in his voice and she gently shakes him by the shoulder.

'Killian that's amazing, congratulations.' Emma tells him, glad to see his composure crack with a small smile.

'Thanks, love. I think I was lucky that there weren't many applicants to be honest but I do have to prepare some courses for them to show I can cook without burning anything.' She knows he's downplaying the whole thing by saying this and she dumps the rest of her ice cream cone in the trash before taking his hand.

'You're going after what you want and you're succeeding, that's what matters. I'm proud of you.' Killian's smile widens and his eyes soften and she's pleased he (truly) heard what she was saying.

''So, do you want to go to the 'Face Paint Bonanza' or the 'Friendly Farm Animal Frenzy'? Emma asks as seriously as she can, making Killian laugh as he pulls her up with him.

'Actually I had something else in mind.' He says cryptically and she looks at him with a raised eyebrow but he doesn't explain any further and just puts his arm around her as they continue walking.

They stop at a rather popular section and Emma looks up at the sign that says 'Puppy Pen'.

'You wanted to come see the puppies?' She asks as they find an open space along the pen to look at the little dogs running around and playing with toys.

'Actually I was thinking about getting one for Henry for his birthday, if you're okay with it of course.' Emma turns her head quickly towards Killian but he's grinning as he watches the puppies and she can't help but melt a little.

'To keep at your place with his new bedroom or my apartment that doesn't allow pets?' She asks bluntly, although her heart really isn't in it. She's always wanted a pet, as has Henry and she actually loves the idea of getting him a puppy for his birthday.

'Well my landlord allows pets but I don't want to get a dog for Henry if he doesn't get to see him a lot.' Killian replies and she hears his disappointment.

'Or it would just mean us coming over to your place more.' Emma shrugs, her eyes following a Golden Retriever puppy with adorable stumpy legs.

'So you're okay with getting Henry a puppy?' Killian asks hopefully and Emma grins.

'I think it would be a nice addition to our family.' She replies and gives him a quick kiss on the cheek before heading over to the gate to the pen. They're given 5 minutes in the pen with the puppies to choose one to adopt and Emma's heart clenches at the sight of Killian under a pile of excited little puppies.

'I think that one likes you, Swan.' Killian laughs as a little chocolate coloured Labrador crawls into her lap and demands attention from her. She scoops the puppy up and moves to sit beside Killian, smiling when the puppy eagerly moves into his arms. The puppy pokes out a little pink tongue and licks his face, making Killian chuckle and cuddle the dog.

'They seem to like us both.' Emma says with a smile.

'This one is the only one left in her litter. Her brothers and sisters were getting more attention because she's been reserved all day but she's really excited with you two.' The volunteer behind them says.

'We'll take her.' Emma replies immediately. Killian raises his eyebrows initially but nods in understanding a moment later. He hands the puppy back to Emma as they exit the pen and Emma hugs her as he signs the papers and pays the fees. Her eyes widen at the price of the little thing but fortunately as the event is hosted by the veterinary clinic they at least receive a free appointment for a microchip and checkup.

'Now we just have to get bowls, food, chew toys, a collar, a pen and a bed.' Emma sighs once everything is finalized, but she knows she doesn't regret it.

'Henry should name her.' Killian says with a smile and Emma looks down at the fluffy little dog with big eyes.

'He will love her. Thank you, Killian.' He moves closer to her, rubbing the puppy's head softly before kissing her chastely.

'This little one deserved a home.' He says quietly, and she knows by his soft gaze that he isn't just talking about the puppy.


	20. Chapter 20

'You guys are acting strange, what are you hiding?' Henry says suspiciously and Emma cringes as Killian chuckles next to her. Henry had returned from his school trip an hour ago and Emma drove straight to Killian's apartment after picking him up. Although he had seemed unfazed by their destination he had quickly grown suspicious when he noticed Emma and Killian exchanging looks.

'I guess he knows something's up now.' Killian sighs exaggeratedly before going into the kitchen. Emma had brought the cake over earlier so they could give it to Henry together (she also wanted to make him think the cake was the surprise and not the dog they were hiding in the next room that she prayed didn't make a noise in the next five minutes).

Henry raises an eyebrow at her as they wait for Killian to come back and she knows he's probably imagining anything but a cake right now.

'Happy birthday Henry!' Killian calls as he walks back into the living room with the cake on a tray, all 13 candles lit. 'Believe it or not, your mum actually made this cake.' Killian grins, giving her a wink before setting the cake down on the coffee table.

'Wow, it looks delicious Mom, but I bet Killian did most of the work, right?' He asks with a mischievous grin that makes Killian laugh and Emma scoff.

'Just make your wish, kid.' Emma says teasingly. Henry closes his eyes in concentration for a few seconds before blowing out the candles, and although he looks happy Emma knows he is disappointed with the lack of presents.

Emma looks up at Killian and he nods before quietly leaving the room.

'So we also have something else for your birthday.' She tells Henry and he looks up hopefully just as Killian comes back in with the puppy cradled in his arms.

'A puppy!' Henry exclaims, jumping up immediately to pet the dog.

'She's a Labrador Retriever and she's all yours lad. You can even decide her name.' Killian smiles as he passes the puppy over to Henry, who is giggles when she starts licking him.

'She's so cute!' He laughs and Emma moves to stand beside Killian, his arm around her waist as they watch her son.

'Thank you.' Henry tells them as he tickles the puppy's tummy.

'She'll have to say here because we can't have pets in our apartment but Killian says you can come over and see her whenever you want, which I guess leads to our other surprise for you.' Emma says and she suddenly feels nervous for her son's reaction. Henry looks up questioningly and Killian clears his throat to speak.

'Well I have a spare bedroom that's empty right now and I thought it would be nice if we made it a bedroom for you, for when you and your mother want to stay over.' Killian adds quickly and Emma is thankful that he explained the purpose before Henry asked if they were moving in permanently.

'That sounds cool. So I'd get to decorate it and everything?' Henry asks before laughing again when the puppy knocks his chin with her head.

'Of course, lad. You can choose the theme and paint it any colour you want. There's even space for a double bed.' Killian replies and Emma knows Henry is sold.

'Awesome! Then the dog can sleep on my bed at night too.' Henry smiles and Emma exhales with relief. Her son is happy with all of this, and that was the most important thing.

* * *

Emma is out walking the puppy while Killian takes out the candles and cuts the cake into slices. After both of them vetoed over 20 names Henry came up with, they finally agreed (relented) on the name Cadbury. It wasn't exactly original but it was better than Leeloo, Waffles, Trixie and the other strange names they debated over.

'So lad, have you enjoyed your birthday?' Killian asks Henry as he eagerly waits for his slice of cake in the kitchen.

'Yeah it's been fun, and I can't believe you got me a puppy. I've always wanted a pet.' Henry replies and Killian smiles.

'I'm glad you've had a good time. I've seen firsthand just how much your mum wants you to be happy.' Killian says softly as he decorates each plate of cake with chocolate sauce and a scoop of ice cream.

'Honestly I just wanted _her_ to be happy. Every year she makes sure I get everything I asked for on my birthday, even when we were struggling with money and stuff. She put all this effort into making me happy and I knew she wasn't. Now it's different. You make her happy, and I'm really glad you came into our lives, Killian.' Henry tells him and Killian's eyes immediately sting with tears.

'Thank you Henry, that means a lot. I'm glad you and your mother came into my life too.' He clears his throat and blinks but Henry isn't fooled and he steps forward to hug Killian. It's strange, at first. Emma was the first person he had embraced in a very long time, and now Henry is hugging him and it's new but comforting. Killian considers himself lucky for having such a wonderful relationship with Emma but he's had romantic relationships before; his relationship with Henry is something he's never had. The lad looks up to him, he can see that, and it warms his heart to imagine this is what being a parent feels like.

He hears the front door as Emma returns and Henry pulls away, smiling at him warmly before looking longingly at the cake.

'Can we eat it now Mom is back?' He asks and Killian ruffles his hair before nodding with a grin. Henry takes his plate of cake through to the living room just as Emma passes him into the kitchen.

'Hey kid, don't let Cadbury eat any of that cake, okay? She may be named after chocolate but she's not allowed to eat it.' She warns him before looking over at Killian.

'I took her to the same spot you did this morning. David said to get her housetrained she needs to keep revisiting it so she knows that's where she goes and not in the house. She's a demanding little thing though, wanting to run around for ages but I was getting chilly and I want cake.' Emma sighs as she looks at it on the counter but Killian steps in front of her and she frowns.

'What?' She asks, her nose and cheeks just a little bit pink from the evening chill. He brushes his thumb across her cheek and she eases into his touch.

'Are you happy?' He asks quietly and his eyes drift to watch her lips part before she speaks.

'More than I have been my entire life.' Emma replies, and his thumb moves to follow the curve of her lips as she smiles.

'Are you?' She asks a moment later and he grins.

'Maybe once I've had some cake.' She scoffs at his answer and he pulls her in to kiss her temple affectionately.

'I already have everything else that makes me happy.' He says more seriously and she hums in approval before reaching for the cake.

'We should have some before Henry comes back for seconds.' She laughs and he follows her into the living room with his own plate as they join Henry on the sofa.

Henry finishes his cake and puts the plate on the table before Killian notices him looking over at Emma before inhaling.

'Hey Mom, can I go to the movies on Friday night?' He asks and Killian narrows his eyes as he watches Henry anxiously wait for Emma's response.

'Sure kid. What are you going to see?' She asks and Killian has a funny feeling he knows what is coming.

'Not sure yet, but it's kind of a date situation so I'll probably go along with whatever Grace wants to see.' Henry shrugs and Emma coughs after swallowing a piece of cake.

'You're going on your first date?' Emma says and although she's smiling Killian is reminded of when she was upset over Henry growing up so quickly only a couple of days ago.

'Yeah, I mean don't make a big deal about it or anything.' Henry replies, trying to hide his own smile.

'Okay, I promise I won't embarrass you about it. Just let me know if there's a kiss.' Emma grins, making Henry groan and Killian laugh.

The three of them have a nice evening watching movies and playing with Cadbury before Henry starts yawning and Emma reluctantly makes a move to leave. Henry hugs both Cadbury and Killian goodbye before making his way down the hall, leaving Killian to kiss Emma one last time before they say goodbye. The apartment seems too quiet once they've left but he scoops Cadbury up and lets her sleep on his bed, comforted by the thought that someday he will only have to say goodnight to Emma and Henry instead of goodbye.


	21. Chapter 21

'I like this bed.' Henry says as he walks over to one of the showroom areas in Ikea. Emma frowns at the price tag but Killian quietly tells her not to worry and she narrows her eyes at him, waiting until Henry goes off to look at other furniture before she speaks.

'Killian, I don't mean to sound rude or invasive or anything but how exactly are you paying for this? It's great that you want to do this for Henry but this is all going to cost a lot and I don't-'

'Emma, its fine. I have some money saved up and spending it on Henry is far better than wasting it. And I was going to wait until later to tell you but I suppose now is as good a time as any really. I've been offered that job as head chef.' Killian shoves his hands in his jacket pocket and sways and she doesn't know how a grown man can look so adorable but he does.

Emma brushes her hand down his arm until she gently pulls his hand out of his pocket and laces their fingers together. 'I knew you could do it.' She says proudly and he chuckles and scratches his ear.

'It's a lot more money than I'm getting now but it means I won't get to see you every Friday when you come into the store.' He says it like a joke but she doesn't miss the twitch of his lips that tells her he is genuinely disappointed.

'Maybe we need to make Friday date night then and I can come meet you for dinner.' Her suggestion is also a joke with a hint of sincerity and she isn't sure Killian hears it until he cups her face and smiles gently.

'I'd like that.' Emma smiles in response, containing her desire to kiss him considering they're in public and Henry would probably groan and grump in embarrassment. She does however manage to sneak in a kiss later as Henry climbs into the backseat of Killian's car, distracted by his new beanbag chair while they load the smaller furniture into the trunk. Emma intends the kiss to be short and quick but Killian holds her close and smiles against her lips, whispering his words of love as his fingers brush through her hair gently. He's looking at her in that way that makes her heart jump and her head spin and all she can do is whisper the words back to him and hope he knows how much she means them.

* * *

It's Friday and Killian is feeling an emotion he can't really place as he works his last shift at the supermarket. He's not friends with any of the other employees and there isn't one thing he will miss about sitting at a checkout for numerous hours bored out of his mind and yet there's something making him feel almost sad about leaving.

Emma comes in the afternoon to do her weekly shopping and he realizes with a squeeze of his heart when he sees her that she is the reason. Despite how much he hates working here, this job is the reason they even met. Perhaps they would have eventually met through their neighbours already being acquainted with each other (and according to both David and Mary Margret they definitely would have set the two up with each other had they not already met) but Killian is glad that he and Emma found each other on their own.

They both take their time when she comes to his checkout for the last time and he laughs when she reminds him of how he had his head slumped against the counter the first time he served her.

'You looked so fed up and it was so cute.' Emma grins and he hums skeptically.

'You thought I looked cute? I probably just looked really tired and awful.' He smiles as he scans the last item (a roll of cinnamon bun dough, just like the first time) and she gets out cash from her purse rather reluctantly. He takes it and collects her change before looking back up at her.

'When you were on the phone to Henry that day I thought you were talking to someone else. You said 'I love you' and I thought…' He trails off, not wanting to finish the thought or sentence. Emma raises her eyebrows in surprise before her smile returns a moment later.

'So are you saying you're glad you found out how alone I really was?' She's biting her bottom lip and fluttering her eyelashes challengingly and he runs his tongue along his lip, knowing the action was a weakness for her.

'Glad you were alone? No. Glad you were available? Very much so.' He carefully traces the inside of her wrist with his finger as he hands over her change and she inhales.

'Good answer.' She replies shakily, and he swears he can see her cheeks flushing before she turns away, quietly saying goodbye with a smile and a look in her eye that was only ever for him.

The shift is soon over and he leaves the store with the small amount of belongings from his locker and drives home, glad to finally be out of that place (he reminds himself that he will need to find a new grocery store to go to from now on).

Killian unlocks his front door and is surprised to find Emma on his sofa, curled up with Cadbury and a mug of something that smells like hot cocoa with cinnamon. His stomach flips at the sight of her looking so comfortable in his apartment.

Hi, honey.' She greets him warmly, closing the book she is reading (his tattered copy of Wuthering Heights he gave to her after learning she had never read it) and putting her mug down on the table. The pet name is new but somehow she makes it sound like its natural, like she has been calling him honey for years.

Emma carefully gets up from the sofa, trying not to disturb the sleeping puppy beside her before throwing her arms around his neck.

'Not that I'm not happy to see you but what made you come over, love?' Killian asks and Emma shrugs.

'Henry wanted to see Cadbury before he went to a friend's house and then after dropping him off I wanted to come back to see you.' Her eyes are watching his lips and he likes how he can see the flecks of gold in her eyes from the soft glow of the lamps in his apartment.

'There's something else.' He says knowingly, brushing his hand affectionately up and down her back. Emma sighs but still doesn't meet his gaze, her arms slipping from around his neck to around his waist to pull him closer.

'Do you have any rum?' She asks and had he not sensed something was troubling her he would probably have responded with a joke or flirtation, but instead he simply nods and heads over to his cabinet to get an unopened bottle of rum and two glasses.

Emma sits back down on the sofa and he joins her, pouring the rum out and handing her a glass. Killian watches her as she takes a drink, closing her eyes and exhaling before looking over at him.

'I went into work today to pick up some new case files. My boss asked if I could look over them this weekend and on Monday start on the one with the most leads. A few other people got some files as well and this guy was complaining that the only one he received had nothing to work with. He asked me to look over it to see if he was missing anything, so I did. He was right, there was very little to work with in the file, but the target was Neal Cassidy.' Emma downs the rest of her rum and pours more as Killian takes a moment to understand what happened.

'Neal Cassidy, the same Neal you were involved with?' Killian says quietly and she nods.

'I guess he's still running in the same criminal circles and away from any responsibility.' Emma says bitterly, clutching on to her once again empty glass. 'It was just an unpleasant surprise but even the thought of him makes me want to just drink away the memories of him.' She continues, pouring herself her third glass of rum in minutes. Killian puts his hand over hers to stop her and she looks up at him challengingly.

'Perhaps that is unwise, love.' He tells her and she scoffs, brushing off his touch to pour a little more rum.

'Why? I've done it plenty of times before.' Emma says and he hears the irritation in her voice.

'And yet here you are, still thinking of him. Clearly it doesn't work.' Killian replies just as roughly and she puts the bottle down on the table and turns to face him on the sofa.

'Then show me another way to forget.' He sees the glint in her eye and he knows exactly what she means but he shakes his head.

'Believe me lass, that doesn't work either.' He sees Emma clench her jaw in frustration and he sighs. 'I may not know everything about you but I know that you've never really dealt with the pain Neal inflicted on you. You've avoided it, distracted yourself and shut off any thoughts of him in an attempt to numb the pain. I know because that's what I did after Milah hurt me.'

'What, are you saying that you're all fixed now?' Emma replies sharply but he doesn't take it personally, knowing this was part of her defensive strategy she had built up over the years.

'Do you think people are really afraid of heights or are they just afraid of falling?' He asks and his question catches her by surprise. Some of her tension eases but her eyes are still hard and distant. She shrugs and looks at him expectantly.

'I realized that the reason I continued to carry so much pain around after Milah was that I was scared of getting hurt again. Her betrayal hurt of course, but the possibility of experiencing that pain all over again was enough to shut myself off. I didn't _do_ relationships because they might actually lead somewhere and I could get hurt. That is why falling for you was so terrifying, but then I discovered how being in love with you felt and I could finally let go of everything. You need to find a way to move on, not just push it down.' He sees Emma crumble as he speaks and he knows she understands.

She's silent for a long time as she processes her thoughts but she seeks his hand to hold and he squeezes hers reassuringly.

'Thank you…for being different.' Emma murmurs a while later and he brushes away the hair from her face to see her clearly.

'Different how?' He asks softly.

'Most people would have just offered sex and alcohol and thought they were being helpful. You thought about what I needed, not what I wanted.' Emma replies as she looks down at their hands and twisting the ring he wears on his index finger.

'That's because I love you.' She smiles at that, looking up at him with a soft gaze.

'How did I get so lucky to be loved by you?' Emma asks and Killian laughs in disbelief. Her smile is finally reaching her eyes and he feels a warmth build in his chest.

'I ask myself the same question about you, lass.' Killian grins and he sees how she relaxes, tugging on her bottom lip as she shuffles closer to him.

'I'm sorry about this. Seeing Neal's name and face in that file just made me feel like that 17 year old pregnant girl crying in a prison cell. I just freaked out and I needed you.' Emma tells him sincerely. She's close enough that he can see the golden flecks in her watery eyes and the freckles on her nose and he closes the distance and kisses her, soft and slow and full of love. He can taste rum and a hint of cinnamon on her lips and feel her desperation in the way her tongue slides against his.

'No need to apologize, Swan. I'll always be here for you.' He reassures her when she pulls away from his lips to breathe. She nods and when he knows she's okay he stands up and runs his hands through his hair.

'What do you say to a quiet night in with some movies and popcorn?' He suggests and she shuffles further into the sofa to show her comfort.

'Sounds good.' Emma smiles, and he leans forward to give her another quick peck before slipping off his shoes.

'I need a shower but I'll be back in 10. You can pick the movie while I'm gone.' He suggests, not missing the way Emma's eyes roam over his chest as he takes off his work shirt and heads to the bathroom. He lets the water heat up a moment until the room is full of steam and he can pretend the heat in his cheeks is from the shower and not the unmistakable look of lust in Emma's gaze.

* * *

They are curled up on the sofa, Emma in Killian's lap and Cadbury in hers as they watch The Princess Bride (again, but he had let her pick the movie after all). Emma is playing with the sleeve of his t-shirt absentmindedly, her fingers running along his bicep softly as she watches the movie.

Sometimes she looks at the TV intently and other moments she ignores it, turning her attention to his lips as she leisurely kisses him whenever she pleases. He doesn't mind one bit, in fact he likes it very much.

'What was your first kiss like?' She asks in between their own kisses and he tightens the hold of his arm around her waist.

'Awful.' He laughs as he plays with the ends of her hair and she raises her eyebrows questioningly.

'It was at a party when I was 15. I was talking to this girl I had a crush on and suddenly she kissed me. I had no idea what to do but she took the lead so I just sort of fumbled my lips against hers. Afterwards she shouted 'I told you he would suck' and the whole room laughed. It was mortifying and I didn't kiss anybody for 5 years after that because I was so worried it was true.' He laughs at the memory now, his high school years feeling like a lifetime ago.

'Is it far from true; I happen to love the way you kiss.' Emma smirks, her eyes dropping to his lips as she tugs on her own.

'I like to think my skills improve when it's with someone I love.' He replies quietly and the heated edges of her gaze drops to a softer level of affection.

'And what about you? Was your first kiss as memorable?' Killian adds and Emma shrugs her shoulders.

'I remember but it wasn't exactly _memorable._ I was 14 and it was with a boy at the foster care place we both ended up in when no one wanted us. He was 16 and almost free of the system and I desperately wished I could leave with him. He told me he would get me out as soon as he left, promising me with a kiss. It was just a peck and I never saw him again after he was gone, but I guess that was my first kiss.' She seems neither sad nor happy at the recollection and he brushes her cheek gently.

'Maybe we'll be each other's last first kiss.' Killian says, but it takes him a moment to realize how that must sound to her. To his surprise she's smiling when she looks up at him and the churning in his stomach lessens.

'Hmm, maybe.' She whispers before resting her head on his chest and turning her attention back to the TV. It's a non-committal response but it actually comforts him to know she doesn't dismiss their future together.

They sit in comfortable silence for a while as he plays with her curls and Emma's hands continue to wander across his arms. She chuckles at the movie every so often but he is distracted by idle thoughts of his future with Emma and he is reminded of a conversation he had with David earlier.

'Can you keep a secret?' He asks Emma and she lifts her head up to look at him with narrowed eyes of suspicion.

'Can I agree to keep it _after_ I know what it is?' She replies, gently moving Cadbury off her lap (much to the puppy's annoyance) to look at him better.

'Secret keeping isn't usually a pick and choose kind of deal, lass.' Killian laughs and Emma rolls her eyes playfully.

'Fair enough, but I don't have many people to tell a secret to anyway so my word doesn't really mean much.'

'Well the only person that can't be told is Mary Margret.' He responds and Emma's eyes widen in interest.

'Okay, I won't tell her, I promise. Spill please.' Emma grins, shuffling against him in anticipation.

'David told me he's planning to propose to her soon.' Killian reveals and Emma literally gasps.

'What the hell, they've only been dating as long as we have. I mean I know they knew each other for a while before but still. Does he know how he's going to do it? Has he picked out a ring yet? Are they moving in to his place or hers? Is she pregnant, is that why they're getting married so quickly?' Emma demands and Killian holds up his hands for her to slow down.

'Our casual conversation didn't quite turn into the Spanish Inquisition, Swan.' He tells her with a chuckle.

'You mean he just told you he was going to proposal to Mary Margret and you didn't ask him any of these questions?' Emma says in disbelief, a hint of judgement in her expression as she frowns at him.

'Well, no. He just told me that he's the happiest he's ever been and he knows Mary Margret is the one he wants to spend the rest of his life, whether it's been 3 months or 3 years.' He doesn't add that he understands exactly how David feels. They may have insinuated about their future together a few times but given Emma's shock to their friends' quick development Killian knows they are not there yet in their own relationship.

'I'm happy for them. I knew since the first time I saw them together they were perfect for each other.' Emma smiles, her initial shock clearly subsiding as she considers the idea of their friends getting married.

'Do you remember at David's party when you said they would donate their wedding fund to charity and not go on a honeymoon?' Killian asks and Emma laughs. She's laughed plenty of times before but he take particular notice of how her nose scrunches and her lashes flutter as her eyes crinkle.

'I stand by that assessment.' She grins before meeting his eyes. There's something there, an unspoken conversation between them yet he's unclear on what's being said. Emma sobers up from her laughter and although her smile remains he feels like there's something in her expression he can't quite read. He shakes the feeling off and kisses her cheek before shifting to get up. Cadbury still needs her evening walk and fresh water in her bowl and he needs fresh air.

'I should take Cadbury out for a walk.' Killian sighs, the puppy perking up at the word 'walk' (she seemed to catch on to that a lot quicker than housetraining) and Emma nods.

'Henry's staying at his friend's, so I was going to stay here for the night, if that's okay?' She asks hesitantly and he feels guilty that she even feels she needs to check.

'I'd never turn away a beautiful woman from my bed, lass.' He grins, hoping humour would hide the fact that having her sleep by his side is all he wants.

'Actually I was just going to take the sofa.' Emma shrugs and he fumbles for a response.

'I'm kidding.' She smirks and he lets out a relieved laugh as he shrugs on his jacket. She gives him a softer smile, one of reassurance and he returns it. Cadbury jumps up in excitement and he attaches her lead to her collar and takes her for a quick walk.

When he returns Emma seems to have already gone to bed and he locks the door, fills Cadbury's food and water and turns off the lights before heading to his bedroom. Emma is snuggled in the sheets and his heart picks up. They've been together for a few months now but only shared a bed on a handful of occasions and never at his place.

He undresses down to just his boxers and climbs in next to her, chuckling at how she's already drifting off and grumbling that he's letting to cold air in.

'I'll warm you back up, lass.' He murmurs as he puts his arm around her waist and she shuffles back into him.

'Love you.' Emma mumbles and he smiles, returning the words a moment later as he feels her chest rise and fall steadily with sleep.


	22. Chapter 22

Emma is sitting at her desk when her phone rings, the noise pulling her out of her intense focus on the paperwork in front of her. Killian's name appears on screen and she smiles before answering.

'Hey Killian, how was your first day at work?' Emma asks, her eyes scanning over the piles of case files, documents and photographs that are scattered across her desk.

'It was tiring and a lot of it was just going over health and safety and the rules of the kitchen but it was good. The staff were friendly and welcoming so it seems like a nice place to work but it was only my first day. Now I just really need a hot bath to relax and unwind.' Killian replies, and she hums at the thought.

'I wish I could join you.' She says quietly into the phone as she sits back in her chair. The rest of the office is dark, the only light coming from her lamp and her eyes are stinging from tiredness.

'I had so much paperwork to get through I decided to stay late tonight and I'm completely regretting it.' Emma moans and she frowns when Killian laughs on the other end of the phone.

'Well its 10:30pm, I think you can call it a night, love.' He replies and Emma spins in her chair, contemplating the idea before shaking her head and sighing.

'I can't, I'll only put myself further behind and I'm already swamped. I'm glad you had a good first day though. I can swing by your place in the morning before Henry goes to school to see you?' Emma suggests, looking over at the picture of her, Henry and Killian she had recently added to her desk.

'Sounds wonderful, I'll see you tomorrow morning then. I love you.' Killian says and Emma smiles.

'I love you too.' She replies before hanging up. Killian's hours are longer at the restaurant than the supermarket and she's been more busy than usual at her own work. She knows this will lead to not seeing him as much and she already misses him, but she is reassured that their distance is not exactly by choice.

'Emma, what are you still doing here?' A voice says from the darkness in the office and she jumps before the owner of the voice reaches the light of her lamp and she recognizes him.

'Jeez, Will you nearly gave me a heart attack.' She exhales before frowning at his terrible attempt to hide his smirk. 'I'm finishing up some paperwork that's been building up. I didn't realize anyone else had stayed.' Emma explains, gesturing towards the open case file she was in the middle of reading.

'I left hours ago but I couldn't sleep. Something about that case I'm working on just got me thinking and I came back to have another look at it.' Will replies as he heads to his desk and turns his lamp on.

'Oh, the Neal Cassidy one?' Emma asks, trying to keep her interest nonchalant as she clicks the pen in her hand a few times.

'Yeah. Besides the current charges against him he was also wanted for a load of stolen watches 13 years ago. Those charges were dropped when someone else was arrested for the crime but Cassidy was caught on CCTV so he definitely had something to do with it. The person arrested was most likely an accomplice so if I can track them down maybe they know something about Cassidy's whereabouts. It's a longshot but I can't let this guy slip through my fingers. He's got multiple arrest warrants for various degrees of theft and now this possible murder charge on top of that. This guy needs to go down.' Will rattles off as he searches through his files for the one about Neal.

Emma's stomach was already churning at Will mentioning the person who took the fall for the watches but the last part made her feel nauseous.

'Murder charge? That wasn't in the file when I looked at it.' She says, noticing the shake in her own voice but glad Will hadn't.

'The guy Cassidy beat up before stealing his car died in a hospital in Boston a few days ago. He seems to be making his way up the East coast for whatever reason, that's why the file was given to us so we could catch him but he managed to flee from court once and he's a skilled runner.'

Emma's blood runs cold. Neal had killed someone and Will was trying to track down the person that had been arrested 13 years ago that was actually sitting right in front of him. She pushes her tongue against the roof her mouth and closes her eyes, trying to will away the sick feeling that had nestled in her stomach. Emma desperately tries come up with something to stop Will but he starts typing away on his computer with purpose and she knows determination when she sees it. Instead she closes the file on her desk and shuffles the papers until everything looks a little bit more presentable before sighing and turning of the light.

'Well I'm going to head home for the night. I'm too tired to get much else done. You'll update me in the morning about that case, right?' She asks, cringing at how transparent she thinks she sounds.

'Sure, at this rate I'll have to do a presentation to the entire office though. I'm driving everyone crazy trying to find this guy.' Will snorts, smiling at her before returning his focus to the computer screen. Emma quickly says goodbye and makes her way out of the office building, inhaling the fresh air as she reaches her car.

It was only a matter of time before Will found out her connection to Neal and once that happened everything could fall apart. He will probably end up assuming she's protecting Neal and she could lose her job and her credibility. But the worst part of all this is that she may just end up coming face to face with Neal once again.

 _I know you just had a really long day but please can you stop at my place on your way home? I'm leaving work now and I need you._ Emma messages Killian before getting into her car (the one _Neal_ stole all those years ago, maybe he even attacked the rightful owner then too). She grits her teeth to stop the tears that are building up as she drives home and the only thing calming her down is the message from Killian telling her he's on his way.

She reaches her apartment before he does and she checks to make sure Henry is okay first. He's fast asleep in his bed, a note stuck to his bedroom door saying he's done his homework and put the leftover lasagna in the refrigerator for her.

She changes into leggings and her favorite oversized sweater, shuffling back into the living room just as she hears a soft knock at the door. Emma opens it and Killian takes one look at her before closing the door behind him and pulling her into his arms.

'What is it, love?' He asks quietly, and she closes her eyes at the sound of his soft voice and the warmth of his body. She's silent for a moment, appreciating the way she feels a little calmer now that he is here before exhaling and pulling him over to the couch with her.

Emma looks at him properly and she sees the darkness under his eyes and the glazed look of tiredness and she feels a wave of guilt for making him come over and solve her problems.

'Remember the file about Neal I looked at the other day? Well this guy Will that's working the case came into the office tonight searching for a lead. He said that he would track down the person who was arrested for the watches 13 years ago and see if they had any information on Neal.' Emma sees Killian tense at the mention of Neal before he sighs and brushes her hair off her shoulder.

'Are you upset about people finding out about your past or this about Neal?' He asks quietly.

'Both, but there's something else too. Will said that Neal stole a car in Boston a few days ago and he attacked the owner to get it and the guy died in hospital from his injuries. Neal killed him. And now my own colleague is trying to track me down to see if I know where the murderous father of my child is and what if he eventually finds Neal and I have to see him again and-'

'Emma, breathe. You won't have to see Neal again, I promise. And this guy Will at your work? He may well find your record and find out your history with Neal but perhaps what would be best is if you are just honest and explain the situation. Telling him the truth now would be far simpler than having to explain yourself later when you look guilty.' Killian tells her calmly, and she nods before smiling weakly at him.

'Thanks for calming me down. I'm sorry to drag you into this, especially after your first day of work and everything. I know you probably just want to go to sleep right now.' Emma says apologetically but Killian shakes his head and takes her hand in his.

'You come before anything else, Swan. I'd rather know you are okay than have you worrying about this all night.' Killian replies and she squeezes his hand gratefully. She feels calmer now, but there is still something stuck in her mind that's making her anxious.

'He killed someone.' Emma whispers. They had survived by stealing and committing petty crimes across cities and states but murder was the other side of the moral line that Emma thought neither of them would ever cross.

'We all have choices in our lives. You chose to make a better life for yourself and your son and Neal chose to continue on the same path he was on. Something's got to give when you live a life like that, and sometimes that means spiralling down further. People can be capable of anything when they're at that point.' Killian says softly.

Emma thinks about Killian's words as she rests her head on his shoulder, closing her eyes when he kisses the top of head.

'You always know what to say to make everything better.' She sighs, her lips twitching when Killian laughs lightly.

'I'm glad my efforts are appreciated.' He replies. Emma indulges in the warmth of his arms for a little while longer before reluctantly ushering him out of the apartment back to his own. He needs rest just as she needed comforting. He messages her once he arrives home to check she is okay and she tries to focus on the thought of him instead of everything else as she falls asleep.

* * *

'So Killian, how is your new job treating you?' David asks from across the table. He had invited Killian and Emma over to have dinner with Mary Margret and himself, and judging by the grins they were sharing Killian assumes David has already proposed.

'It's great. This first week has mostly just been about introductions and training but I like it so far. The restaurant is going through a revamp and they want me to create a new menu, so I'm going to enlist the help of Henry for that project.' Killian smiles, looking over at Emma as she scoops some spaghetti onto her plate before looking up at him with a smile of her own.

'Oh, is Henry into cooking too then?' Mary Margret asks curiously. He knows their questions are mostly out of politeness when they both seem to be struggling to keep their good news at bay for whatever reason.

'Well the restaurant wants to become more family friendly so I thought Henry could help out with some of the dishes kids would eat. Apparently there are too many mushrooms in everything and there should be more meat than vegetables.' Killian laughs as Emma rolls her eyes at her son's words.

'That just adds to the guilt I feel as a mother for feeding him so much pizza. He's next door with friends eating some as we speak. I thought having a boyfriend who likes to cook would come in handy but so far he has yet to prove himself.' Emma teases him and he laughs off his desire to kiss away her grin while in front of their friends.

Killian fills his own plate with spaghetti as Emma answers questions about Henry and their new puppy until Mary Margret clearly can't contain herself any longer.

'Okay, so we have some news of our own to share with you. We're engaged!' She exclaims, holding up the hand with her ring that she had not so subtly kept hidden until now.

'That's so great, congratulations.' Emma smiles just as Killian looks up at David and Mary Margret.

'Killian told you I was planning to propose, didn't he?' David asks a moment later, and Emma bites her lip guiltily as Killian scratches his ear awkwardly.

'Perhaps he may have shared something about it. But I'm still really excited for you both.' Emma says sincerely but David laughs it off.

'Don't worry, I half expected him to tell you anyway.' He grins and shakes his head at his friend before taking Mary Margret's hand, his smile softening as he looks at her.

'Since neither of us have any siblings and you're our closest friends we were also wondering if both of you would like to be a part of the ceremony. Emma you would be my maid of honor and Killian you'd be David's best man.' Mary Margret says warmly and Killian feels a warmth in his chest at her suggestion. He'd never been close enough to anyone to be their best man or even be invited to their wedding before.

'That's so sweet of you to ask, I'd love to be your maid of honor.' Emma replies, and he knows she is just as touched to be included.

'And I'd love to be your best man, mate. Congratulations.' Killian grins. David smiles and nods for them to continue eating, giving Mary Margret a kiss on the cheek before reaching for the salad bowl.

Killian steals a glance at Emma, who still has a ghost of a smile on her lips as she begins eating. She's happy for their friends but she's also glad to be included in something like this, just as he is.

'So how did you propose? I asked Killian if he knew but apparently guys don't talk about that kind of stuff.' Emma jokes and Mary Margret gasps in excitement, reminding him of Cadbury when she gets treats.

'It was amazing, but I'll let him tell the story.' She smiles, taking a sip of wine to keep herself quiet.

'Well first we went to the Chinese restaurant where we had our first date. We had a nice dinner and then we went for a walk in the park. It was a nice night and the sky was clear so we sat and looked up at the stars. Mary Margret remembered we hadn't opened the fortune cookies from the restaurant but I said they only gave us one, so I gave it to her. She opened it and found the ring inside, with the message saying 'will you marry me?' She started crying and I wasn't sure if it was good or bad so I slid down onto one knee anyway and then she started nodding and I could breathe again.' David recalls, laughing at the last part as Mary Margret sits gazing at him.

'Of course I said yes.' She sighs happily and Killian tries not to feel a little envious about their engagement.

The four of them spend most of the night discussing potential plans for the wedding ceremony and reception, as well as some humorous suggestions for the bachelor and bachelorette parties. They move to the sofas and Emma cuddles into him, making his thoughts frequently drift during the conversation to their own relationship.

'At least they don't have to worry about us.' Emma jokes while Mary Margret and David are in the kitchen and Killian hums in confusion.

'Well it's sort of a cliché that the best man and maid of honor hate each other but then end up sleeping together at the wedding, right?' She says as she brushes her hand up and down his arm.

'I don't know, I've never been to a wedding before.' He's being deliberately obtuse; he knows she means in movies and such but for whatever reason he's finding it difficult to converse with her. Perhaps it was the wine, or all this talk of flower arrangements and colour schemes but he isn't really in the mood to be sociable anymore.

Emma's eyebrow twitches as she notices the lack of interest in his response but she says nothing as she untangles their hands to pick up her wine glass from the coffee table.

'I forgot to tell you but Will decided to drop his search for me. He couldn't find my record in the system for whatever reason and he got frustrated and gave up. At least I don't have to worry about that anymore.' Emma sighs, leaning back on the sofa before cautiously looking over at Killian. He smiles and says 'that's good' but even he realizes his reaction his limp and half-hearted. He is glad that she isn't worried anymore, but the unease in _his_ stomach is difficult to over look right now.

'I'm actually really tired so I might call it a night. I'll make sure Henry and his friends are settled down in his room and I'll leave the door unlocked for you. Good night, lass.' He says, kissing her cheek briefly before making his way to the kitchen to say goodbye to David and Mary Margret. He doesn't look back at Emma but he knows she's wearing a confused and hurt expression as he leaves her alone on the sofa.

* * *

Emma brushes her finger across the rim of her wine glass anxiously, biting her lip when she hears the apartment door open and close. Killian had been acting strange for most of the night, not an obvious change to David and Mary Margret but she could see the difference in him.

'Is everything okay with Killian?' Mary Margret asks with concern as she comes to sit beside Emma, holding her wine glass with her left hand so Emma could see her ring more clearly.

'Yeah, he's fine he's just really tired from work. It's been a big change for him and its quite demanding so it's taking a lot out of him. He'll get used to it in a few weeks, I'm sure.' She shrugs, trying to convince herself as much as Mary Margret.

She nods and smiles along with David and Mary Margret for another hour before she claims tiredness has taken her too. It wasn't the same without Killian, least of all when he left in the way he did. She says goodbye (and congratulations once again) before going next door into Killian's apartment. It's quiet and there's only one lamp on as she enters and even Cadbury is fast asleep on the couch.

Killian has left a light on for her in the bedroom and while he's buried under the sheets she's not sure if he's actually asleep, but she changes into pyjamas and climbs into bed as quietly as she can anyway. After she wriggles to get comfortable and the room is quiet once more she hears his breathing and knows that he is still awake.

'Killian.' Emma whispers, and he rolls over to face her in the orange glow of the lamp. He really does look tired and it's clear he's been wide awake for the past hour. She slides down the bed until their faces are level and she cups his cheek softly.

'What's wrong?' She asks, only slightly comforted by the fact that his expression is much softer than before.

'It's nothing. I'm just tired.' He replies, but all it takes is a glare from her before he sighs and takes her hand away from his face, lacing their fingers together as he brushes his leg against hers.

'Tonight with David and Mary Margret made me think of a few things that bothered me.' Killian says quietly, and she moves her other hand from under her head to brush his hair away from his forehead.

'Like what?' She asks worriedly; she's never quite seen him like this before.

'Like how if one day _we_ were to get married, Liam wouldn't be there.' Killian whispers and closes his eyes. Her heart sinks and she shifts closer to him until their hips and legs are touching.

'I think about how I lost my brother so suddenly and it terrifies me that I could lose you too. I took him for granted and now he's gone all I can think about is losing everything else I have.' He's too upset to bother keeping his tears at bay and she wipes them away softly, her own eyes filling up too.

Emma doesn't really know what to say to comfort him; he is the one that is good with words not her, so she kisses his cheek and puts her arm around him as he sobs quietly. When he's grown silent she looks at him, the blue of his eyes even more noticeable from his tears.

'I love you and now I can't imagine my life without you. But if I were to ever lose you, I'd like to know we made our time together count, that I could look back on our time together and be just as happy to have loved you even if I've lost you. We don't know what the future holds, but every moment I spend with you is important to me and all we can do is appreciate everything we have now. I didn't know your brother but I'm sure he'd want you to live your life and not worry about what we can't control.' Emma says softly, and Killian nods slowly against the pillow, his thumb gently pressing into the dimple of her chin.

'Aye, you're right lass.' He replies a while later, his lips twitching into a light smile as his thumb moves across her bottom lip. She smiles back before leaning over to turn the light off and shift back into his arms, finding his lips in the darkness and kissing him. He responds immediately, almost harshly as he kisses back with need.

It's strangely comforting to not see anything in the dark, to just feel his lips against hers, his tongue sliding into her mouth and his hand on her waist. She feels the heat of the kiss slowly fade until Killian breaks away, rubbing his nose against hers and whispering her name. Emma can still hear the pain in his voice before he kisses her again, his lips demanding and the touch of his hand almost possessive in his need to grip on tightly to her. He pulls his lips away from hers to dip his head into her neck and kiss her more gently and she feels the intensity of his emotions calm slightly as he sighs into her neck.

Neither of them say anything as they continue their gestures of affection for a while, their kisses becoming lazy and their noises of appreciation becoming hums of contentment. It's nice, to be intimate and passionate with someone without always having sex. She'd never known that was possible, but she's learned from Killian that satisfying the needs of your heart is just as important as satisfying the needs of your body.

Emma falls asleep with her skin tingling from the touch of his lips, her head resting on his chest and his arm over her waist, his fingers lightly tickling her before he drifts off and stills. She closes her eyes with the comforting thought that this is how she wants to spend every night for the rest of her life.


	23. Chapter 23

'Why aren't we living with Killian?' Henry asks as Emma sits down beside him at the table to eat dinner. She raises her eyebrows as she contemplates the best way to answer his question and stalls by taking a bite of her burger before speaking.

'Well, moving in with someone is a big deal, especially when I have you to think about as well.' Emma replies simply, but Henry shakes his head as he eats his fries and frowns at her.

'But why is it such a big deal? You and Killian love each other and I really like him too. His place is closer to your work and my school, I have friends in that neighbourhood, our dog is already there and Mary Margret has moved in with David next door to Killian so she would still be your neighbour. I know you hate leaving after we've stayed over, so why don't we just stay there forever?' Henry's stopped eating now and she knows he must be serious if he's putting food aside for a moment.

'You've thought a lot about this, haven't you?' Emma says quietly and he nods.

'And before you say that it's imposing for Killian, I've already spoken to him and he said he would love it if we lived with him.' Henry replies almost smugly and Emma raises her eyebrows.

Oh really? And when did you talk to him about this?'

'Just the other day before you guys went out for your date. As a joke I said that having a kid stay in his apartment was probably limiting his ideas for celebrating your anniversary but he said he doesn't care because we're his family and the apartment feels like home when we're there.' Emma bites her tongue to stop her tears when she hears that.

'So if, hypothetically, we were to move in with Killian you'd be happy?' Emma asks.

'Yeah, of course. Killian is the closest I've ever been to having a dad.' Henry shrugs, but she knows he's feeling emotional too by the way his scrunches his nose and looks down.

'Okay, I'll talk to him about it.' Emma smiles, enjoying the feeling of anticipation instead of fear at the idea of this commitment. Henry grins and starts eating again and she exhales, almost laughing at the fact that her 13 year old son just convinced her to move in with her boyfriend.

* * *

Killian sees Emma through the circular window of the kitchen door and he smiles. She's sitting at one of the tables, the rest of the restaurant empty now that it's closed.

'I saved you some of your favorite dessert.' He grins as he brings out a plate of Zuccotto. Emma smiles when he places the cake in front of her and he kisses her briefly before she starts eating.

'Did you manage to speak to that company today?' She asks in between bites and he brushes away the dusting of cocoa powder on her upper lip before answering.

'Aye, turns out the guy I spoke to has family in England and his wife grew up in the same town as I did so he was more lenient with the order. My boss was ecstatic to find out I got the groceries for 15 percent less.' Killian grins, unable to hide how pleased he was about this accomplishment.

'No one can resist your charms, huh?' Emma teases and he watches the way she slowly pulls the fork out of her mouth and licks the chocolate mousse off.

'You are my girlfriend Swan, I think you resisted the least.' He replies, picking up the extra fork and scooping up some of the cake for himself. She mumbles in protest but her mouth his full and he laughs, watching as she frowns while chewing, looking more cute than angry.

'How was your day?' Killian asks once the cake was finished and Emma seems to tense for a second before taking a drink of water.

'Work was pretty boring but I had an interesting conversation with Henry at dinner earlier.' Her words are innocent enough but the way she shifts in her seat tells him it's something more serious.

'He asked why we weren't living with you.' Emma continues before he can speak.

'And what did you tell him?' Killian asks cautiously.

'I said that moving in with someone is a big thing, especially when I have him to consider. But he wants to, and he says you want too as well.' It's been six months and his heart still picks up at how she sounds both unsure and hopeful in vulnerable moments like this.

'Aye, I do. And you?' He says quietly, running his fingers along the edge of the table cloth anxiously.

'Yeah, I do too.' Emma breathes, like admitting it out loud has calmed her already.

'That's great, because I was out the other day and I saw some quilts you might like for our bed.' He grins as her eyes widen before she hits him gently on the arm and smirks.

' _Our_ bed, I like the sound of that.' Emma replies, leaning forward until he meets her halfway and kisses her. He hasn't forgotten that he's at work so he keeps it chaste despite no one else being around to see them.

'Henry said you're the closest person to being a dad for him.' Emma says quietly, her lips lingering by his before she looks up at him.

'The lad is my family too.' Killian replies and Emma flutters her eyelashes before throwing her arms around him. The topic of her son often makes her emotional but this time she seems overwhelmed in a good way. They've had many long conversations about her childhood and her own lack of family and he knows that makes it all the more meaningful that she has a family now, just as it is for him.

Killian locks up the restaurant and follows Emma back to her place for the night, smiling when he notices the box Henry had labelled 'Henry's room' with some books and clothes already packed.

'Seems like Henry was coming no matter what.' Killian says quietly and Emma laughs as she hangs up her jacket by the front door.

'He was pretty confident it was happening, and if not this was his way of basically forcing me. When he was a baby he would not eat anything until I gave him the food he liked. He's always been a stubborn kid.' Emma smiles, looking over towards the closed door of Henry's bedroom.

'Any child of yours would be stubborn, lass.' Killian teases, earning him a scowl as she heads to the kitchen. He follows her and grabs a bottle of water as she puts the kettle on. He knows that she takes hot cocoa and cinnamon to bed on days that have been stressful so he puts the water down and massages her shoulders, feeling her tense in surprise before quickly relaxing.

'What's gotten you all tense today, Swan?' He asks and she groans in response.

'Everything and nothing. Just one of those days I suppose. You're making it a lot better though.' He moves to wrap his arms around her waist from behind, resting his chin on her shoulder as she leans into him.

'Have you ever thought about us having children together?' Emma murmurs and his heart jumps. Of course he has, he's thought long and hard about their daughter with his hair and Emma's eyes or their son with blonde curls and dimples.

'Aye, I may have given it some thought.' Killian admits, unsure where she's going with the question when she doesn't say anything else for a while.

'I never thought I would want more kids but I want kids with _you_. Someday anyway. I want Henry to have brothers and sisters and I want those children to grow up with more than just one person who loves them. I want Henry to give them piggy backs around the house and for you to read them a story at night until they fall asleep. I want all of it, and I want it with you.'

Killian grips on to her extra tight as she speaks, pressing his face into her neck as his heart swells at her words.

'Me too.' He replies, his mind imagining a time when his arms are wrapped around her bump as their child kicks for the first time.

'I love you.' Emma says, and although she's said it countless times already, this time feels like a promise for the future.

* * *

'Killian why the hell do you find this so hard to understand? All you needed to do was send me a message to say you wouldn't be coming, at least then we wouldn't have been waiting around for you.' Emma yells as she slams the kitchen door behind them. She probably does it for Henry's benefit but she's yelling loud enough for him to hear through any door.

'Emma, I told you work was crazy and I didn't have any time-'

'You mean you couldn't spare 30 seconds to text me? I get it, I've had crazy days at work too but I always made time to let Henry know what was happening.'

'Are you annoyed I didn't message you or that I didn't come?' Killian challenges, leaning back against the counter with his arms crossed. He hadn't intended to get into an argument but Emma's anger was sparking his own.

'I'm _angry_ that you didn't message me. _Henry_ is hurt that you didn't come. Do you know what he said to me today? That this was the first time he would have a dad at his parent-teacher conference.' His anger quickly dissipates with Emma's last words and instead all his feels is guilt.

'I'm sorry. I didn't realize it meant so much to him.' Killian says more quietly, but Emma is still glaring at him and he knows he's nowhere near forgiven.

'It's not me you have to apologize to.' She grits out before storming back out the kitchen. He stays in the kitchen, making a cup of coffee to avoid going back into the living room but when he does 20 minutes later the apartment is quiet. Henry's bedroom door is shut, as well as his own and then he notices the pillow and blanket left out for him. It seems like he will be sleeping on the couch tonight.

They don't really fight, at least not about anything serious. They have an ongoing debate about who snores that gets heated sometimes and they squabble over who should tell David and Mary Margret that their wedding minister is creepy but they never _fight._ Killian groans as he thinks about Emma and Henry waiting for him to arrive at the school and giving up when he never showed in time.

He let down his family today, and he feels like a bloody fool.

* * *

He apologizes to Henry in the morning before he takes him to school. Emma left for work before he even woke up, probably in a bid to avoid him and it's the first time since she moved in that they haven't woken up beside each other and kissed each other goodbye before work.

'I'm sorry I wasn't there yesterday.' Killian says quietly to break the uncomfortable silence as Henry fills a bowl with Lucky Charms and milk.

'You had work stuff to do, I get.' Henry replies, sounding far less understanding that his words let on.

'Yes but I realize that those commitments could have waited when there was something more important happening with you. I know it doesn't excuse my absence but I didn't know my presence was so important to you.' Killian explains, and Henry stops eating and finally looks at him.

'Look, before you were just a guy my mom was seeing that made her happy, but now the three of us are a family and I'm pretty sure you're going to marry her one day. I want to make you proud just as much as I want to make my mom proud, so I just wanted you to hear about my school work and stuff.' Killian's stomach drops and he feels guilty all over again as he looks at Henry's sad brown eyes.

'I'm so sorry, Henry. I saw your report card and I am proud of you, but I know it would have meant more for me to have been there with you. I promise I will be at your next parent-teacher conference, and every single one after that until you go to college.' Killian offers, and Henry cracks a smile at that.

'Good.' He nods before eating a spoonful of cereal. 'So I take it Mom is still mad at you?' Henry continues, arching an eyebrow questioningly.

'I slept on the couch and she left before I woke up. She's definitely not happy with me.' Killian replies as he pours a bowl of his own cereal (All-Bran because he was an adult and only ate Lucky Charms when no one could see him).

'She'll give you the cold shoulder for a few days but she'll come around.' He says, and Killian hopes he's right.

* * *

It takes 8 days for Emma's bad mood to thaw.

He returned to their bed on the third night, when Emma said nothing and huffed as she tried to get to sleep beside him. Henry tells him that she would ask him how Killian's day was instead of asking Killian herself and she had used post-it notes to communicate the entire week without actually speaking to him.

On the 8th night Killian frantically marches into their ensuite as Emma lies in bed reading. He notices Emma's curious eyebrow raise but she says nothing as he strips off his shirt and jeans quickly before going into the bathroom, only to rethink his plan and picks his clothes up while crinkling his nose. He realizes he's only wearing his boxers so he throws on a robe before taking his clothes to the washer in the kitchen.

When he returns to the bedroom Emma is biting her lip as if stifling a laugh and he widens his eyes at the fact that she's dropped her week old death glare.

'You're wearing my robe.' She says quietly, her lips curving up as she speaks. He looks down and realizes he is in fact wearing her hot pink robe that's far too small for him and is riding up his bare thighs.

'Sorry, I just needed to put something on while I put my clothes in the laundry. Cadbury peed on my jeans and then when I put her on the lead she dragged me down into the wet dirt.' He explains hastily, startled when Emma lets out a laugh. It's the first time he's seen her smile in a week and he joins in, laughing with her as she shakes her head.

'It actually kind of suits you.' Emma grins, and he feels the blossoming warmth in his chest at her smile. He realizes that he's flushing and unsure how to respond when Emma throws the sheets back and climbs out of bed. Her expression turns more serious, but far softer than it has been all week as she walks up to him.

'I'm tired of not speaking to you.' She sighs, leaving a cautious gap between as she waits for him to reply.

'Good, because I miss you like crazy.' He laughs shakily and she tilts her head.

'I miss you too. I've been acting so immature and I'm sorry.' Emma replies and he laughs and steps closer, tucking her hair behind her ear and brushing his thumb over her cheek.

'While I agree you have been immature it was my fault you were angry in the first place. I'm sorry for not showing up, and I'm sorry for disappointing Henry.' Something flickers in Emma's eyes at the mention of her son but it fades quickly and she shrugs her shoulders.

'Henry said he had forgiven you and that I should too. I know that in the grand scheme of things it really wasn't that big of a deal but given my history with people not showing up I freaked out.' Emma's hand brushes against his at his thigh, lacing their fingers together and he enjoys the simple gesture of affection.

'I promise that I'll keep my word from now on, as long as you talk to me instead of freezing me out if you have a problem.' Killian suggests and Emma rolls her eyes with a grin.

'Okay.' She leans forward and kisses him, clearly only for a brief moment but he doesn't want to let her go just yet and brings his arms around her back and presses her into him. She lets out a muffled laugh against his lips and kisses back harder. She smells of soap and lavender and sweetness and he doesn't know how he survived the past 8 days without being this close to her.

'You need a shower, but I'm more than willing to continue this in there with you.' Emma murmurs teasingly and he groans, moving his hands to her hips and pushing off her pajama pants as she begins unbuttoning her matching shirt.

He goes into the bathroom to turn the shower on and the room quickly fills with steam when Emma shuts the door behind them and continues kissing him roughly, shoving off her robe from his shoulders as his clumsy steps out of his boxers and they stumble into the shower stall, their lips barely parting as they move.

Neither of them really care about hygiene as Killian presses Emma against the wall, the water drumming on his back as she nips and tugs at his lips. He's too caught up in the heat and rushing of the water and her moans to realize her hands have travelled down to his body and he jumps when she grabs his erection and laughs into his neck.

'The good thing about fighting is the make-up sex.' She grins, and he has too agree when they finally get out of the shower 30 minutes later, the ends of her hair still wet when they stumble into bed together, whispered words of love shared numerous times as they make up for their lost week.

* * *

'So, how much exactly did you guys drink?' Emma asks as she looks in the mirror to see Killian and David slumped beside each other in the back seat of her car. David is giggling ridiculously (she never would have pegged him as a drunk giggler) and Killian has his eyes closed, although he's pinching the bridge of his nose so at least he's conscience.

She notices his knuckles are red like he's punched someone and she's so glad they're driving away in her car and not a police cruiser.

'Killian's like a pirate with the amount of rum he drinks.' David laughs and opens one eye to peak at David beside him.

'Does that make Emma my wench then?' He asks with a grin and despite herself Emma laughs along with the two drunken idiots.

She takes them back home, ushering David into his apartment quietly while Mary Margret sleeps in their bedroom. Killian gently pushes his friend onto the sofa and Emma gets a glass of water and Advil ready for him in the morning before leaving with Killian back to their own apartment.

Killian slowly walks to their bedroom and strips off his clothes while Emma prepares the same hangover cure for him and leaves it on his bedside table as he climbs into bed.

'Emma, you know I love you, right?' He mumbles and she rolls her eyes as she slips into bed next to him.

'Of course I do.' She replies with a sigh, her eyes stinging with tiredness now.

'No, I mean I _love_ you. Like if soul mates were real you'd be mine. Or if True Love's Kiss really existed it would happen every time we kiss because you're my True Love.' Emma knows this is just drunk ramblings but her stomach actually flutters at his words and she smiles as his warm hands find her waist under the sheets.

'And I love you too.' She laughs lightly as he snuggles up to her.

The next morning Killian is sitting with the TV on mute and his eyes closed and Emma smirks.

'Feeling a little rough there, honey?' She asks and he groans in response. Emma holds back a laugh as she curls up under the blanket beside him on the sofa and he turns to look at her, his eyes still a little bloodshot and the bags under his eyes evermore present.

'I sure hope David enjoyed his bachelor party last night because I'm sure as hell not this morning.' Killian mumbles.

'Do you remember anything?' She asks, noticing the redness of his knuckles is still present. Killian sees her looking at his hand and chuckles.

'Aye, this was nothing serious. I said I'd never punched someone before so one of David's friends told me to punch him.' Emma raises her eyebrows before rolling her eyes.

'You're smart and caring and thoughtful and a bit of rum and you go around punching people.' Emma jokes and Killian manages a smile.

'I remember what I said to you last night too.' Killian says softly, a bit of colour coming back to his face as he looks at her sheepishly.

'You mean what you said about me being your wench or the thing about soul mates and true love?' Emma asks bluntly, laughing when Killian looks shocked.

'Well I meant the latter.' He replies and Emma laughs at his adorable worried look.

'Hey, I thought the wench thing was pretty funny.' Killian relaxes at that and he pulls her into his side, resting his head on hers as he closes his eyes again. He sleeps off the rest of his hangover and takes Emma's frequent teasing in stride for the rest of the day, and when she tells him that he's her soul mate too and he blushes she can't help but love him even more.


	24. Epilogue

A gentle tap on his glass gets the room's attention and he hopes no one can tell his heart is racing and his palms are sweating.

'Good evening ladies and gentlemen. I am grateful that you are all here to join me for this very special opening night. It's been my dream for a long time now to open my own restaurant and I am very fortunate that tonight marks the moment this dream has become a reality. I'd like to thank all of you for coming out tonight, as well as those who spent long nights and weekends helping to patch this place up. It may look great now but there was a time when the paint didn't match and the dining chairs had zebra patterns on.' The room of guests laugh and Killian relaxes slightly.

'But above all I'd like to thank the woman who made this all possible. She's believed in me and supported me for four years now, picked me up and kept me going when I almost gave up on this dreams a few times. I know that without her I would not be standing here tonight, so please join me in celebrating the love of my life and my wife, Emma Swan.' Killian looks over to his right where Emma is making her way towards him, the colour of her cheeks matching her red dress. Her green eyes are sparkling when she reaches him and his heart picks up just as it did the first time he saw her.

The audience in front of them cheer and raise their champagne glasses and Emma curls into his side with embarrassment, although a soft smile curves her lips. The guests soon settle down into their seats and the first course is served around the restaurant. Killian looks over at Henry, who is enthusiastically digging into to his food at the table with Mary Margret and David, little Ava sitting beside her parents and her baby brother Leo in his high chair.

Emma steps forward to join them but Killian pulls her back to him, silently nodding towards the exit. She frowns in confusion but follows him as they quietly slink away from the celebration and out into the warm evening breeze on the beach.

She takes off her heels and retakes his hand before they walk onto the sand. He hears the music and buzz of chatter and dishes fade as they walk away from the restaurant and he stops suddenly. The orange tint of the sunset is just fading on the horizon and he takes it all in.

'You didn't have to thank me in there you know. Honestly you worked so hard for this that I barely had anything to do with it.' Emma shrugs and her words remind him of how she used to be when they first met. Things had changed over the years; she had become more open with him and accepted his love and praise, but the doubt in her voice concerned him.

'You had everything to do with it. If I hadn't met you I would probably still be working at that supermarket, alone and my dreams unaccomplished. I love you Emma, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you.' He sees her look down at the rings on her hand and his heart warms.

_'You could bend a piece of grass and present it to her and her answer would still be the same.' Henry sighs impatiently as Killian scans the jewelry displays for the seventh time._

_'Well the ring isn't meant to persuade her, I just want it to be perfect. None of these are right for her, they're too big or too ugly with too many diamonds that she'll call obnoxious.' Killian replies hopelessly. He's refused the jewelers help twice now, knowing he'll only try to sell him the expensive rings and not find what Killian is actually looking for._

_Killian makes a face at the same large ring that he notices as he passes the display case but then he sees the one beside it and stops. It's small and far classier than the one next to it. There are small diamonds along the thin band of the ring and a reasonable sized square one in the middle. He knows just by looking at it that it would look even more beautiful on Emma's hand and he smiles as he requests to see it._

'I never told you this but the night you proposed I went into the bathroom and cried.' Emma says quietly and Killian lifts his head quickly to look at her. He thinks back to that night in confusion, wondering what she's talking about.

_Her eyes are closed as she soaks in the remaining heat from the sun before it sets and he marvels at how she is much like the sunshine herself._

_'Everything is so perfect right now.' Emma sighs contently and Killian feels his stomach drop. This is it._

_He takes her hand and kneels down on one knee, not caring that he was getting sand all over his pants as he finds the small box in his breast pocket and opens it._

_'Emma, you're the light of my life and you've brought me a special kind of happiness that I never knew even existed. You've made me want to become a better person, to work harder, to love more and to cherish everything I have while I still do. I see no future without you in it, so Emma Swan, would you do me the honour of becoming my wife?'_

_He had been nervous ever since he had started planning this proposal, ever since he had picked out the ring with Henry and decided on the perfect moment. The past few weeks he had been a wreck, trying to keep this a secret until now, wondering if this was something Emma even wanted despite their frequent discussions of their future together. But looking at her now, with her eyes glistening and her red lips curved in a wide smile, all his nerves are gone._

_'Yes.' She breathes shakily, and he gently slides the ring onto her left hand before she's crashing her lips against his._

_'I love you.' Emma sighs against his lips when they take a moment to breathe and he cherishes those words even after all their time together._

_'I love you too, my future wife.' He chuckles and Emma hums happily._

'We'd talked about our future together a lot but words and reality were two different things. Some part of me kept thinking 'when will this end, when something bad happen' and it never did. Ever since David and Mary Margret got married I'd been dreaming about our day. I never did that as a little girl. I never heard the story of my parents getting married and I was never the little flower girl at a relative's wedding, dreaming that one day I would be the bride. Weddings were for people who were loved, and I never felt that, until you. It felt like a dream that day you proposed, I was just overwhelmed and I guess I broke down. I didn't want you to know back then, I'm not really sure why.' Emma sniffs and he gently lifts her chin to look her in the eye.

'None of that matters now. It was very much real and still is. I love you even more than I did that day I proposed and the day we got married and even more than I did yesterday.' Killian reassures her and her smile is soft and warm and genuine in response.

'Come on, let's go get some champagne and food because I think we deserve it.' Killian adds with grin but Emma hesitates.

'Perhaps I should hold off on the champagne.' She says with a tilt of her head and he frowns before shooting his eyebrows up.

'Are you…?'

'I'm pregnant.' Emma smiles and he feels his heart hammer and his stomach drop and his face warm all at once.

'We're having a baby.' Killian whispers and Emma nods. He picks her up and spins her round, laughing as he kicks up the sand beneath his feet and watches her smile above him. Once he puts her back down she guides his hand to her stomach. It's still flat and she must only be a few weeks along but his heart is beating so fast the baby may as well being coming right now.

'This is really happening.' He exhales as he rests his forehead on hers. She hums in response and puts her arms around his neck.

'I think it will be a boy.' Emma says a moment later and Killian laughs.

'Hmm, I think we might be having a daughter actually.' He says confidently.

(And when their baby with a headful of dark hair and bright blue eyes is born Emma is too in love with her son to be smug about being right, at least at first.)

* * *

Killian stands in the doorway of the nursery, watching Emma as she bounces Liam on her hip and sings to him softly. Her hair is pulled back in a loose braid and he can faintly smell her vanilla perfume from where he stands.

'Dada.' Liam coos and Killian smiles as Emma turns, only just noticing his presence. Liam's first word was 'dada' 3 weeks ago and his heart still leaps when his son calls for him.

'Daddy's home now, Liam. We've missed him all day haven't we?' Emma asks (rhetorically of course, the child is only 11 months old) and she passes him over to Killian, who cradles his son affectionately in his arms with a smile.

'Did Henry get away okay?' He asks and Emma leans on the side of the crib and exhales.

'Yeah, he's already set everything up and he's out having dinner with his new roommate.' Emma answers shakily and Killian looks up at her, the sight of her watery, red eyes and pursed lips making his heart break.

'Emma, it's okay to be upset. Henry's all grown up and going to college, it's a scary time for any parent let alone one with a baby to look after as well.' Liam gurgles at that and Killian rocks him soothingly until the little lad's eyes start drooping. He can hear Emma crying and he kisses Liam's head softly before lowering him into the crib and rearranging the blanket around him.

Once Liam starts drifting off Killian pulls Emma into his arms and she buries her head into his neck.

'He's all I had for so long, and it just feels weird not having him in the house anymore. I know I can't hold on to him forever, but I miss him.' Emma cries, and Killian gently unravels her braid, brushes his fingers through her hair and kisses her temple.

'I know, lass.' He whispers until she calms.

'It's so quiet.' Emma murmurs a while later and Killian lifts her head from his shoulder and kisses her softly.

'I suppose we'll just have to expand our family even more until the house is full of noisy children then.' He laughs, coaxing a smile out of Emma as he softens the worried lines on her face.

'I like the sound of that.' She replies quietly.

(And 9 months later when their twin daughters are born and Liam is crying over them being girls and Killian promises him a younger brother someday Emma thinks back to a time when everything was quiet and she knows no matter how terrible her headache gets she would never trade in her family for anything.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much to everyone who has read this story! I hope everyone enjoyed reading it just as I did writing it :)


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